Luxury
by neverbeentoschool
Summary: Just a single rash action and Zero finds himself trapped in the resulting bitter aftermath. And no matter how much he disliked Kaname, he hadn't intended on dragging him into the mess. Then again, things were hardly going according to plan... AU. K/Z.
1. Prologue

**First fanfic, so be nice! **

**SETTING - AU, some time after Rido's death**

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me...sadface...**

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><p><em> Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.<em>

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><p>Prologue<p>

Of all the things, lying was what came most easily to Zero, and this special talent was not in the least affected by the fib's size.

_Actually, I'm not feeling well, Chairman, so I probably won't be attending classes today._

_No, Yuuki, I'm not hungry. I don't need any of...__that__._

_You don't scare me, Kuran._

"I _do_ want to."

But somehow, that one coated his tongue with a thick, heavy bitterness.

Kaien's eyes narrowed, halfway hidden by the sheen of light reflecting off his glasses. Behind his intertwined fingers, a deep, aging frown stretched across his lips, and his teeth tore anxiously into the fragile skin on the inside of his cheek. Like any good, doting father, he obsessively worried over his son's well-being. And like any good, doting father, he knew to never take his son's words at face value.

Zero was the type of person who tried at all costs to keep his feelings exactly that and that alone - his feelings. Kaien would like to say that he had raised his children to feel comfortable enough to confide in him, but...well, a single look at them and all they'd been through told him otherwise. Not once had he ever been approached until the situation was way out of hand, and even then, usually Yuuki - or sometimes even Kaname - was the one to tell him. Of course, in some ways, he believed he'd done the most he could. It wasn't _his_ fault that Yuuki and Zero concealed so many of their deepest fears and troubles behind bright smiles (and in Zero's case, indifferent and detatched sarcasm) - that was just the way it was. Just as the sky is blue, the grass is green, and blood is _red_. _That's simply how their family works._

Sometimes, Kaien wondered what it would be like to have a normal household. To have the members _not _brought together by the death of loved ones due to unnatural - vampiric - causes. _Papa_, Yuuki would say, _Can you help me brush my hair?_ And of course, Kaien could never say no to the innocent prefect. Then, maybe Zero - a different Zero, whose eyes twinkled brightly with the wonders of youth and smile stretched a mile across his face, not an ounce of enmity coloring his bright, attractive features - would tease Yuuki playfully for her ridiculous codependence, and they would all share a hearty, _happy_ laugh.

Kaien's daydreams always ended in laughter.

But this was not one of his imaginary heart-warming family moments. This was cold, harsh reality - the reality where his 'innocent' daughter was in actuality, the daughter of the Kurans', and a _pureblood vampire_, and his bright-eyed Zero was a derailing ex-human, just a few years, or months even, away from becoming what he feared the most.

This was a reality where a heart-to-heart was simply inconceivable.

Still, you couldn't blame Kaien for trying.

"And you're sure?" he asked, already knowing the hunter's answer.

"_Yes,_" Zero hissed, teeth flashing dangerously in irriation.

Kaien sighed in poorly concealed disappointment. He would never be seen as a father figure to Zero - the boy had far too much hate and despair in his heart to be able to wedge in a character as big and enigamic as Kaien. And to put it simply, Zero just didn't trust him. He didn't trust anyone. Kaien doubted he even trusted himself.

Cross dropped his hands from his mouth, resting them silently on the cool, polished wood of his desk, careful to not wrinkle or rustle the papers laying a mere few inches away from his knuckles. He fixed the unusual silver-haired boy with a questioning stare - one that both knew the meaning of. It was an out. A 'one last chance'. The ex-hunter said everything with his eyes that he couldn't with his mouth.

_You don't have to do this. It doesn't have to be this way. There's still hope._

Zero merely shook his head, the silver metal of his earrings flashing.

Cross would always be strong, determined, stubborn - _loving _- but those lilac irises held something even more potent than that.

Pure self-hatred.

The Chairman inhaled deeply through his nose, insuring that his words would not come out as choked and as hoarse as his thoat - and heart - felt.

"Okay, Zero. But on one condition."

Zero's eyebrows raised, bewildered that the man had not only accepted his request, but was asking to make amendments. Perhaps he had overestimated the ex-hunter's affections. It wouldn't have been the first time..._Yuuki_...no, he wouldn't think of that right now.

Cross almost couldn't do it. Couldn't even allow the traitorous words to exit his mouth. But he knew he had to, for the sake of his sanity, _for the sake of Yuuki_.

With intense gravity, leaving absolutely no room for argument, the Chairman whispered, "I want a funeral. A big one, and you can't argue. There'll be flowers. White roses, to be exact. And everyone you've ever known will be there, including the entire academy - both the Day and Night class."

Zero swallowed, his mouth suddenly very dry. The prospect of a funeral with all those people there, judging, was horrifying. Oh, and Yuuki would be there of course, her wide brown eyes accusing - angred by his weakness. And Kuran would be there too, all the other vampires would, mocking him their grim, saddened expressions, as if they really cared.

But if this was what the Chairman wanted, that's the way it would be. It's the least Zero could do to repay the kind-hearted man for all the troubles he'd brought with him the night he invaded Kaien's happy home, shirt drenched in blood, body weak and trembling.

"Okay," the deteriorating Level D murmered softly, almost too quiet to be heard. With that, he turned, opposite the direction of the tired-looking elder man sitting numbly in his chair. Zero found that he couldn't face him to utter the rest. Instead, he gritted his teeth and muttered shakily under his breath, "Thank you, Cross. For everything."

And then Zero was finished. He had done what he needed to do. And yet, why was he still standing there, jaw slackened, eyes open wide and expecting? What more could possibly be said?

Those three words bubbled to his lips.

No.

He swallowed the preposterous idea. Nothing good would come from saying that. It would be pointless. Ignoring the overwhelming itch to stay, the hunter gripped the doorknob tightly in his hand, knuckles white, and twisted ever so softly, listening for the faint click. When it came, he knew there was no turning back - no second guessing. He'd made his decision and he was going to stick to it. He threw the Chairman's office door open quickly, lest he was weak enough to hesitate, and exited the room with great speed only a vampire could possess.

Still, a hallway away, he could hear the faint whisper, as if it was just a soft breeze, "And I'm sorry, Zero-kun."


	2. Chapter 1

**RE-EDITED to be more visually appealing!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing...sadface...**

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><p><em>Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.<em>

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><p>Chapter 1: A White Rose Funeral<p>

A single shot, muffled by almost a mile of campus grounds and heavy doors and sturdy walls, and yet, it rang out like a it had been from something more - an explosion perhaps. Certainly not a gun.

The Day class students, slumbering peacefully in their beds were awakened with a start, each small head raising jerkedly from its rightful pillow, eyes wide and popping, and legs twitching awkwardly in their sheets as they tried to untangle themselves from the mess - the sound of hurried footsteps clambering along the wood-paneled floor.

The Night class students, resting lazily - as they always did - on the tables of the Academy's lecture hall, were just as openmouthed and dumbfounded. Immediately, without realizing they were doing so, they all, in a worried-haze, counted the number of students in the classroom. There was only one person on campus that had a gun, and they all remembered the countless amount of times he'd used it. The neverending 'almost's and 'could of's. It wouldn't be surprising if Zero had shot a Night class student out of spite. He had quite a temper, and it most certainly had happened before, and to Kaname, no less. It could happen again.

Kaien, sitting solemnly at his desk, face pressed into the dry and scratchy paper, not caring that when he flinched and lifted his head, a piece stuck stubbornly to his cheek.

_It's done._

The ex-hunter let out an embarrassingly loud cry and threw his tear-streaked face back into the safety of his arms.

The two seperate classes paused, breaths held and fists clenched tightly. Neither were sure what they were waiting for, if anything at all. It was just that, a few seconds ago, every member had sworn they had heard it, a soft and distant, _"Oh, Zero."_

Yuuki's eyes snapped to her brother's at that. Staring into Kaname's deep and sorrowful orbs, she saw something she never thought she would -

_Fear_.

Not even the comfort of her loving brother's arms could contain the wails that racked her shaking frame.

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><p>Kaien wasn't lying when he said the funeral would be big. It was held on campus grounds in a small clearing not too far from the horse stables. Kaien figured it would be fitting.<p>

The expanse was shrouded from the melting sun by group of leafy green trees, yet a sheen of sweat still formed on the brows of the visitors - excluding the vampires, of course. Being dressed in all white did have its advantages.

White and red roses decorated the slick, black coffin, their petals floating delicately in the air everytime the breeze picked up. The flower's soft, clean aroma was overwhelming, enough for even the humans to detect it, and for some reason, it just made the whole situation more real.

Too real.

A muffled sob leaked out of Yuuki's tightly clasped hands - the only sound that came from the mass of white uniforms. It wasn't a secret that besides Yuuki, Zero hadn't been all that close to anyone - even including Kaname who shared an incomplete blood bond with him (although this was not common knowledge to anyone besides the two involved, and knowing Zero, he probably stillhad no earthly idea as to what an incomplete blood bond really meant, or of their existance at all). Still, they had all known Zero - his wide, angry eyes rich in lively spite. The thought of those lilac irises blankened by death, sucked clean of all emotion, made them sick to their stomach. To know that he himself had been the one to cause that death. That Zero Kiryuu had taken his own life.

Kaien's eyes flickered towards the Day class members on the opposite side of the coffin (who, unlike the vampires, were notsilent). The seperation hadn't been intentional, but to both classes it felt natural. The silver haired prefect spent so much time and energy trying to keep them apart that it just wouldn't be right to be in such close proximity to each other at a ceremony for his death. Kaien felt a momentary pride well in his chest and seep into his heart at that. The human children understood the gravity of the event, and respected his son enough to not use the funeral as an opportunity to idolize their crushes.

The vampires respected him enough to attend.

He noted how a girl with braids and glasses buried her face into the shoulder of Yuuki's friend...Sayori, was it? As a matter of fact, every single face of the Day class was tear-streaked. Perhaps Zero had more allies than he'd thought... Then, he allowed his gaze to settle back on the Night class, choosing Kaname over the tearful Yuuki - seeing her hurt, betrayed red-brown orbs would be too much.

_Papa, can you help me brush my hair?_

To Kaien's surprise, Kaname's wine colored globes were waiting for him, and as soon as they made eye contact, Kaien felt a strange, unfamiliar fear strike his nerves. Kaname's expression was not one of grief or even pity - his mouth was twisted into a harsh, thin line, and his brow was furrowed into a sharp pinch of tight skin. The pureblood was livid. In his eyes shone true hatred - a hatred in so pure a form, it emmitted off his entire being, blanketing him in a dark and _sinister_ aura. The corner of Kaname's upper lip twitched upwards, revealing his dangerously sharp, white fangs. The ex-hunter was almost certain the action had been accompanied by a low growl, especially when Yuuki, who stood by her brother's side, flinched and jumped, staring up at him with apprehension. Kaien turned away quickly, the shadow cast by an overhead tree masking his shock.

Even as the coffin was lowered into the ground, the guilt-stricken Cross couldn't shake the startling anxiety that rose, forming a lump in his throat. The only thought that registered in his head was _fuck!_

He had completely forgotten about Kaname.

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><p>Yuuki eyes fluttered open at the rising sunshine that now decorated her room. Having forgotten to close her curtains before she had gone to bed shortly an hour ago, try as she might, there was no way she was going to get any sleep with all this light.<p>

With a tiny yawn and a reluctant groan, she lifted her exhaustion-ridden body out of the dark red satin sheets of her bed and quietly ventured out into the Moon dorm's hallway. The linoleum floor was cool against her bare feet and she immediately regretted not at least wearing slippers, or something. It also reminded her that she was still clothed in merely a flimsy nightgown that was basically transparent, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. Yuuki's cheeks warm, tinting to a soft pink.

Oh well, it wasn't like any of the dorm's other inhabitants were awake and ready to start the day, anyway.

The building's hallways were dismal, as always, which was probably to be expected of a place where vampires lived. Still, Yuuki couldn't hold back the shiver that crept down her spine when she reached each darkened corner, and she'd have to bite down a silly cry of fear as she turned at every single one of them, always expecting something to be there waiting for her, though she hardly knew what.

At one point, she believed she passed Aidou's room. The air had been exceptionally cold there, in front of his door, and she had almost yelped at its stinging iciness. She hadn't realized that his powers could do that, especially even when their owner was sleeping. That's when she began to severely hope she didn't come across Kain's room.

Thankfully, she spotted an exit to the staircase, the same one she had fallen asleep on, dutifully waiting for her brother (in which she had not known at the time). That fleeting memory was so distant that she'd almost assumed it had happened forever ago. A different lifetime, even.

Repressing the brief nostolgia, Yuuki tiptoed down the steps with a newfound grace - something she had not possessed as a human. Before being awakened, she'd have to grip the railing with one hand and carefully descend each step like she was avoiding land mines.

When she reached the bottom step, a face suddenly appeared in front of her's and she started at its close proximity. Until she had realized it was Kaname, of course, and after that, she didn't give so much as a twitch of complaint as he softly gripped her hand and led her over to one of the plush couches in main, lobby-like living area of the dorm, pushing slightly on her shoulders to motion her to sit, and then did so himself.

They were silent for a moment, but it was a different silence than the ones they had shared while she was a 'human'. It wasn't awkward or frightening, filled with unanswered questions and uncertainties. It was comfortable, pleasant almost, as if they were merely enjoying one another's company, which was a certainty on her part at least.

The silence was forgotten, however, when she let out another tiny yawn and reached a hand up to rub her sleepy eyes.

"You're tired," Kaname murmured softly, almost like he was cooing to a baby.

Yuuki choked back a giggle at the obvious statement. "I don't know how you all do it. The whole 'daytime is nighttime' thing."

It's a ridiculous answer, purely meant for the purposes of small talk. She knew Kaname hadn't mean physically, although that one was a given. She was emotionally bleary too, so much that she could barely think straight.

He reached out, twisting a strand of her now long, mahogany hair lightly around his finger, and then released it, and then again, twists, and releases. This pattern continued on for a few moments before Yuuki spoke again.

"How did you know where I was?"

His response was a grin, one mostly saved for when Yuuki said something particularly innocent and adorable. "A Pureblood's aura is not something that can be easily overlooked, Yuuki. I'm afraid you've woken just about the entire Night class with your," he pauses, searching for a proper way to phrase it, "_late night wanderings_."

Yuuki's eyes widened. "Oh..."

Her brow furrowed in anxiety. As if the others needed another reason to dislike her! In speaking to the nobles - Rima, Takuma, Aidou, Kain, Shiki - Yuuki got the sense that no matter what she did, she'd always be treated with a detatched respect - they saw her as Yuuki, the pureblood, not Yuuki, the person. Except Ruka, of course, who she was positive just didn't like any version of Yuuki at all.

"I'm sure they'll find it in their hearts to forgive you."

It didn't take Yuuki more than a second to realize Kaname was joking, and for the sake of his rare lightheartedness, she returned his smile.

His hand fidgeted twice before it dropped to lay lazily in his lap, joining the other. His restlessness had not gone unnoticed by Yuuki. Kaname had been just as ansty as she was, and this made her uneasy. Between the two of them, Kaname had always been the most calm and collected, reasonable, while Yuuki's morals and ideals held strong to even the greatest force, often resulting in her doing absolutely anything to stand up for what she believed in, no matter how ridiculously stubborn or rash the action was. It was the kind of powerful self belief she had picked up from her brother, and she's not talking about her biological, pureblood vampire one. Oh, how she missed -

"So," he began, shaking Yuuki from her worried thoughts, "What is it, my dear girl, that has been troubling your mind to the point of masochistically depriving yourself, and sadistically those around you, of a quiet and peaceful slumber?"

She has to silently repeat his words three times before she can even comprehend what he's asked her. This is something Kaname does quite often, whether it's intentional or not, she's never sure. He speaks like he's swallowed the entire dictionary, and is doing his best to regurgitate it back out. If it wasn't so annoying, Yuuki would find it endearing.

The question isn't really the problem this time, though. It's the answer that is resting at the tip of her tongue, afraid of setting foot outside the warm security of her mouth.

"Well, it's just," she flounders, "It's...well, it's - "

"Kiryuu-kun?"

She tenses in shock at the viscious way Kaname practically spits out Zero's name. She remembers the funeral three days ago.

_A low growl. A flash of white fangs. That angry scowl. Those penetrating red eyes._

She still doesn't understand why he acted the way he did. But she knows there has to be reason. Perhaps Zero and Kaname had been closer than she thought? _Pff, hardly likely._

"I'm sorry, Yuuki. I had not intended to sound so cruel." The look in his eyes was unreadable, and Yuuki had no idea how to interpret it, so she just took his words at face value.

"Neither had I. Talking about him when I'm here, it's not fair to Onii-sama. But," her voice cracks, "It's just, I keep thinking that one day, I'm going to wake up and he'll be here. That he's not - "

**Dead.**

The word demurs on her tongue, and her voice breaks. She's like a child, hiding under their covers. If she doesn't see the monster, it can't be real. _If she doesn't say it, it can't be true._

Kaname's breath hitches and Yuuki watches in confusion as he subconsciously rubs his throat, almost itching at it like a ansty child would a mosquito bite. He seems to recollect himself though because his wide, aching eyes narrow and soften into the comforting expression a good brother would give his grieving sister. But it's a second too late, and Yuuki senses the discontent - sees the enlarged, dilated pupils, the tighly pulled frown, the forced emotion.

Uncharacteristically, Yuuki reaches out for Kaname's chilled, tight fist, wrapping it with her warm palm. When the older vampire doesn't flinch or pull away, Yuuki moves her other hand to his shoulder, resting it on the bone. Like she would a naive child, she guides Kaname forward until the siblings' chins can rest on the other's shoulder. He's still and unmoving for a moment, as stiff as if she was cuddling with a statue, but then, he surprises Yuuki yet again, burying his face into her silky brown locks. At first she thinks he's going to bite her, but after a moment, she understands he won't do anything besides blow puffs of short, irregular breaths that tickle the sensitive skin of her neck.

She starts to move back, away from him, but he clutches at the fabric of her nightgown, locking her in his iron embrace.

"Don't. Please. Just," He breathes and it's muffled slightly her hair, "Stay."

Tears prick in her eyes, though she's not sure why. It was just something about how vulnerable and fragile the bigger, older vampire seemed in her arms. She'd never seen this side of him before - not once. _He trusts me__**, **_she realizes, and even though his face is hidden, she knows this must be the emotion that colors it, painted distinctly in what she knew would be a smooth, unwrinkled forhead and languidly closed eyelids, the lashes fluttering slightly with each shaky inhale. _He couldn't do this with anyone but me. _With this realization, the reason for his distress becomes irrelevant. If he didn't tell her - not ever - she'd be perfectly content, as long as she was allowed _this_.

Yuuki wasn't just fighting for herself anymore. Kaname needed her, and she'll be damned if she didn't protect him just like he had protected her all her life. She'd do for him what she failed to do for Zero.

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><p>"Name, please."<p>

The boy's eyes narrowed, the unique color flashing a shade darker. Hadn't they already covered this part? This was, what, the_ forth _time he's been asked that?

The nurse flexed her fingers, grimacing _yet again_. Being in this child's presence was aging her by the second, his solemn, brooding expression grating on her last nerve. The boy had barely uttered a word since the time they were introduced - and she's fairly certain that word was a quick, jabbing '_no_' when she'd given him an ice-breaking, common pleasantry. "I apologize for the inconvenience. This is purely for documental purposes. It's strictly standard protocol," she assures him, trying her best to sound warm and comforting.

He simply snorts.

Inhaling slowly through gritted teeth, the nurse's hand fists tightly around her pen. "May I remind you that you are a patient in this facility, just like everyone else taking part in this project, and will absolutely not be recieving special treatment just because of your... shall I put it, unique background. When you responded to the Association's letter, you agreed that in entering this program, you would treat it and the people working here with the utmost respect, so please, when I ask you a question, respond with the appropriate and respectful answer. Are we clear?"

The boy nods sorely, teeth biting firmly into his cracked lip. When she raises her eyebrows, fixing him with a pinched, vigilant frown, he reluctantly says, "_Yes."_

"Good," the nurse purrs, the corners of her mouth twisting into a self-satisfied smirk. "Now, would you _please_ state your full name?"

"Kiryuu Zero," the boy responds, knawing at his tongue to prevent the escape of any other, less pleasant things that are just _begging_ to be released out into the open.

"Thank you, Kiryuu-kun. Your cooperation is _greatly_ appreciated."


	3. Chapter 2

**RE-EDITED to be more visually appealing!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

><p><em>Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.<em>

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><p>Chapter 2: White Walls<p>

The question and answer session had taken way longer than Zero would have wanted. Of course, they'd passed that point three minutes in, and Zero definitely hadn't made proper use of the time - often responding to her inquiries with a vacant expression. The frazzled red-headed nurse that stomped down the hallway, heels clicking determinedly on the tiled floor, muttering incoherent swears under her breath, could vouch for that.

With a quiet, tired sigh, Zero reclined back on the plastic chair he'd had the pleasure of sitting in for the past hour and a half, stretching his arms above his head, and tilting his neck from side to side with disgustingly loud pops. He studied the ceiling, eyes searching for a crack, an indenture - something that would at least humanize the building to some extent.

From the moment he'd stepped foot in the place, everything was all white walls, simple lights - each measured out a perfect and equal distance away from one another - and plain glass doors. It reminded Zero of a mental hospital, which wasn't exactly the most comforting thought. On the other hand, things weren't entirely horrible. Zero found that he didn't mind the pristine clean that seemed to pour off of every wall, table, and chair. It was the kind of clean that filled the air with the bright fragrance of freshly squeezed lemons, and that sparkled in the sunlight - had there been any, of course.

As a matter of fact, it was so immaculately flawless that Zero was constantly having to restrain his inner childish seventeen year old that urged his heavy foot to ever so slightly slide across the ground, leaving a contrasting black skid mark in its wake.

Instead, like the respectful adult he was, Zero politely fisted his hands together and placed them innocently in his lap, clutching at the loose fabric of his shirt for good measure. He did his best to appear less restless and skiddish, assuming that such behavior probably triggered a feeling of distress in these trained 'doctors'.

Once again, the image of an institution for the mentally unstable came to mind.

_Fucking perf -_

"Kiryuu-kun?"

Zero jumped, his hand instinctively raising to his chest, hovering right above where Bloody Rose should have been. In a moment of panic, Zero slammed his palm down, feeling nothing but thin cotton and hard muscle. _Where had it -_

And then _oh_ - Right, of course, he now remembered his precious and beloved gun had been confiscated, along with his school uniform, before he could even get a foot inside the door. And to make matters worse, they'd given him a cheap, oversized t-shirt and a pair of baggy pants that had to be rolled up three times in order for them to not be a hazard to his safety, both a boring shade of light blue-gray as if it was a completely acceptable replacement - kind of like stealing a starving man's only apple, but, wait - do not fret, for here is a giant clump of dirt, instead!

Perhaps Zero was being a tad bit dramatic, but the seperation anxiety was really getting to him. 'Rose was the one and only thing he knew he could always depend on, and the only thing that he could truly call his own. It was his piece of home - or the closest thing he's ever had to a home - and in such a foreign environment, he could use the familiarity.

Plus, you could never be too safe. Especially when the nurses seemed slightly hostile.

A calm, "Kiryuu-kun?" was repeated, only this time, it was colored with an undertone of impatience.

Zero nodded, not bothering to turn his head, unwilling to tamper with the comfortable postition he'd just settled in.

"You sleeping arrangements have been made. If you will just follow me down this hallway, I'll show you to your room."

Zero sniffed - a bitter and dry sound - and his lilac eyes flashed in annoyance.

* * *

><p>The hallways weren't much better than the rooms. The only thing that made them slightly more interesting (and Zero was really having to stretch with 'slightly' and 'interesting' here) were the rows and rows of - you guessed it! - white doors, each plain and structured, sistering their neighboring walls and ceiling. Every door was decorated with its own individualizing number printed in a fat, black, and bolded font. All were in serial order with a subsequent letter following, depending on which section they were in, like for example, the door off to his very right was given the label <strong>9B<strong>. The one about twenty doors back had been **11A**.

Zero used this pattern to distinguish his current location, though the comfort found in this realization was hollow and short-lived. After all, the thought of what - or who - lied behind those doors, worried him far more.

"Here we are," The nurse said, interrupting his inner musings. "Room 14B." She retrieved a set of keys from her lab coat pocket, and selects a silver one, dirtied and slightly dented from use. It's a refreshing image, and Zero laughs silently at the mere thought of liking something for its faults. This place is screwing with his perspective.

The key fits easily into the lock, and without an ounce of resistance, it unlocks with a faint and cheery click. A quick flick of the wrist and the nurse is twisting the door knob and nudging the door open with the toe of her shoe. She sticks her leg out, pushing the heavy opening against the wall of the - his - room.

"Well," she says expectantly, eyebrows raised and arm outstretched in a _'_come in' gesture.

It takes Zero a second to realize that she's speaking to him.

"Right," he murmurs, and brushes past her, avoiding as much physical contact as possible - even going as far as to shift his left shoulder so much to the right that the muscle is spasming. As a result, Zero's pretty positive that he detects a faint eye roll with his peripheral vision, so he returns the sentiment with just as much - if not more - enthusiasm.

His room is simple and practical with one bed - the plastic-like sheets tucked neatly over the mattress, forming harsh, cutting edges at the corners - and a single polished, wooden nightstand placed at its side. The lighting is provided by a single light bulb, dimmed by a film of grime. Strangely enough, the room is lacking in one very important and significant detail. His eyes move about the room, searching, but to no avail.

"How do I turn it off?" Zero inquires, his tone placid and detatched. The nurse's brow furrows in confusion and Zero adds, "You know - the light?"

"Oh," she breathes, chuckling airily. "It's set on a timer. It'll automatically shut off at - " a pause as she racks her brain, " - nine, I believe. They turn back on at seven every morning. It's like your own personal wake up call."

Zero doesn't bother reminding her that vampires are typically accustomed to sleeping through the day, so the likelihood of being awakened by such a weak light...

"Well," she sighs, "We obviously weren't able to cover everything today. We'll go over things like meal plans, check ups, and classes tomorrow - "

"Wait," Zero interjected, hand out, palm forward. "I still have to go to school?"

The nurse laughed in an exasperated huff as she studied his squinting eyes and clenched jaw. It's the most emotion she's ever seen him display, and over such a trivial matter? "Of course. You're still seventeen, right?" She pauses at his shoulders sag in disappointment, and watches as he trudges over to the bed and sits rigidly on top of the stony mattress. "Surely you didn't really think that the Association would offer" - Zero scoffs at her word choice - "you this opportunity otherwise? Besides, learning is all part of the treatment."

Zero lays back and lowers his head until he's burying his face into the pillow, ignoring the itchy pinpricks that scrape his skin - the result of one too many washes in harsh laundry detergant - because of course. How had he not seen this coming?

She blinks**, **pursing her lips in a bemused frustration. She hadn't meant to sadden the boy. Now, she wasn't particularly fond of him, but still - she recognized the blankness in his stare, the tightly coiled muscles, the thin frown. She didn't want him to feel this way - no nurse did.

But what could she possibly do?

Absolutely nothing, because it wasn't her place. She was merely the middle man, fetching the subjects when they were needed, directing them to where they were suppose to go, keeping track of their medical records, but talking - caring? No, that was _their_ job.

So instead of drifting over to the uncomfortable bed and resting her palm on the boy's silver locks, stroking soothingly, and maybe humming a soft, whispering melody (though something tells her that he wouldn't accept either all that gracefully), she is forced to indifferently state, "Try to get to bed at a reasonable hour. You have a long day ahead of you," and coldly shut the door, locking it behind herself, because that's exactly what this child needs - to feel trapped.

* * *

><p>The lights, as he was previously guaranteed, flicker on - a quick, to-the-point action - and even through his sleep-induced haze and cemented eyelids, Zero is blinded by the bright, cutting effect.<p>

The hunter pulls the paper-thin sheets over his face that's distorted to a squinching and troubled pinch, but it does little to shroud himself from the pronounced, judging brilliance of vivid white.

_Just a few more minutes_, his body moans, submerged in an unaccounted for wave of sleep threatening to take hold. He sinks into it willingly, forehead relaxing, wrinkles fading, limbs sighing as he drifts away, floating farther and farther until he's so far and gone that everything is warm and nice and - _fuck_!

His hand gripping the sheet slips and falls, the movement jerking him back awake, accompanied by another jolt as he remembers where exactly he is.

With a frustrated growl, Zero throws his head back, pressing it gratingly into the mattress. The sound is frighteningly loud, magnified by the four plain walls as it bounces off each and echoes over the blaring silence. His nostrils flare and he turns over in bed, peeking his head out from the security of the sand paper blanket. He can't close his eyes, because now, he remembers- what he'd done, what had happened, finally sunk in_. _Because now,everytime he does, he sees Kaien's face - sees the wounded and sorrowful eyes, the tight-lipped and forced smile, the trembling and twitching fingers. It makes him nauseous. It makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up. It makes his throat close in.

It makes him hurt so bad that he can't stand it.

He shoots up - no longer wanting to subject himself to such an aching feeling - the near-plastic bed crinkling in protest underneath his sharp and sudden movements.

Aided by sleep - no matter how poor the quality - Zero finds he is better able to study the room for all it was worth. It's the same as the night before, but this time, he realizes how much he just doesn't belong. He'd always suspected this, but some part of him, the weak and embarrassing part the desperately wanted to be wanted, had hoped for some sort of miracle - for something that would cure him of this overpowering sickness.

The letter he'd recieved - he'd hardly read it. He cared little for the cause or the purpose. He had lied to Kaien when he had so righteously claimed it was for the greater good; that he could do so much more; that he wanted to help. Sure, if it came down to it, if you forced him into a corner, he would admit that, no, he wasn't necessarily given a choice, but that didn't change the fact that he had abused it - taken it and exploited it for his own personal agenda.

These white walls were meant to inspire - to show that there was a chance at a new, greater beginning, that the past could be undone, and the future rewritten. They were supposed to be comforting.

All Zero felt was oppression.

He'd come here to escape - to abandon the sinking ship, to flee the crime scene. He had wanted an out, and after several failed attempts, Zero discovered that suicide wasn't a plausible option. He was, simply put, a coward.

Oh, the nights he had sat there, finger frozen on the suddenly heavy and stiff trigger. He would stay like that until dawn, then his head would lower in shame at his selfish desire to live - to continue living as a disgusting parasite.

So, he chose a different approach. The mail he'd recieved from the Association was purely coincidence - though a convenient one at that - and he jumped at the solution presented in front of him.

After skimming its contents, Zero saw the opportunity - the silver lining - and how could he turn down such a generous offer (especially when a refusal was not permitted)? It not only allowed him to mend the broken bond between himself and the Hunter's Association, but also to leave. No longer would he have to wake each morning to the knowledge that the only girl he'd ever loved, was a monster - that he was a monster, who'd all but murdered his brother.

More importantly, he no longer had to awkwardly stare into those haunting wine-colored orbs - didn't have to sink his teeth into that milky white and slender neck, pretending that he wasn't enjoying every fucking second of that deliciously rich blood filling his mouth, coating his tongue with its heavy sweetness, and running slowly, sensuously down his dry throat, the warmth soothing the throbbing burn_._

(Right - because never being able to experience that again was a good thing.)

Just thinking about it made his teeth ache, and he has to chew on his own lip until he knows he can breathe again without his nose subconsciously overflowing with the memory of the overwhelming smell of him. The musty and metallic fragrance of his ownblood seems to do the job, thankfully, and he is, for the second time, reminded of where he is, and how very very far away he is from that certain pureblood.

However, there's definitely no way in hell he's going to be able to fall back asleep after that.


	4. Chapter 3

**RE-EDITED to be more visually pleasing!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing...sadface...**

* * *

><p><em>Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.<em>

* * *

><p>Chapter 3: Pink and White Colored Memories<p>

She came to his room not too long after his awakening, keys jangling, and far too cheery for the time of the day; halting in the doorway, surprise is evident on her features as she stares at the vampire before her - right before her - those hardened lilac eyes wide and waiting the second she's unlocked and opened the door.

"Kiryuu-kun!" she proclaims, clutching her hand to her chest, right above her heart. "I didn't think you'd be awake."

* * *

><p>Zero tries to not take offense to the way she glances back at him every few steps, insuring herself that he's actually there - the way her hands never actually unclench at her sides, tensed and ready.<p>

She saw him exactly as he was.

Her opinion wasn't influenced by any of factors that were known for corrupting judgement - no pesky connections or feelings to get in the way. To her, he wasn't Zero. He wasn't the boy she had raised, watched age to become who he was today. He wasn't the brother she'd grown up with - learned life's lessons with. He wasn't the child she'd saved, risked her life for - the child she'd mentored, loving him like her own.

No, he was a patient at this institution she'd been assigned to. He was a vampire - a threat.

"Kiryuu-kun?"

Zero stopped mid-stride, raising his sleep-ridden head to meet her inquiring eyes. She had completely turned around and was facing him, head tilted to the side in confused worry. He had been a second away from walking into her - another step and...

That certainly woudn't have gone over well.

"What?" Zero bit out raspingly, immediately shrinking away from her close proximity - her questioning, caring gaze. That expression was far too familiar. He'd seen it one too many times - paired with flashing glasses, or silky brown hair and a soothing femine voice, or even worse, tantalizingly dark eyes, long limbs, and sinfully red-stained lips.

Grimacing at the boy's slightly insulting reaction, the nurse snuffs out, "We're here."

Zero wished he could remember where exactly here was, but for the life of him, he couldn't seem to recall why he was following her down the hallway to begin with. She must have noticed his vacancy because she laughs, exasperated. "You weren't listening to a single word I said earlier, were you?" It isn't accusing or radiating with even a bit of anger - if Zero didn't know better, he'd say it was teasing.

Nodding sheepishly, Zero responds with a chipped, "Nope."

Another laugh, only this time, it's heartier - warmer. "I figured as much. This," she points at the door their standing in front of - glass and unique among its companions, allowing him to see what's behind it for a split second, but then a person in a white lab coat shifts, and obscures his view, "Is the infirmary. It's for your physical." Catching the trepidation that flickers in his lilac orbs and the quiver in his shoulders, she quickly continues, "But don't worry! It's nothing bad. We just need to have some point of reference to work with before we begin your treatment. You won't even need a shot," she grins, and Zero assumes it must be some sort of nurse-humor because he doesn't consider anything involving needles funny.

She figits nervously when he doesn't laugh along, or make any sound, for that matter. She's fairly sure he doesn't even breathe.

"Do I just go in?" he asks, unintentionally sparing her any further embarrassment, too caught up his own business. Zero wasn't going to lie - the prospect of a physical made him wary. His couldn't help imagining the worst.

_A room cluttered with sharp, metallic tools - each dangerously pointed and covered in rusty-smelling red. There's more people in white lab coats like the one he saw not too long ago, only, he can't see there faces - just the menacing sheen of light reflecting off their glasses. It's dark except for a single lamp, high-beamed and spotlighted on a bulky, chair that's covered in thick straps with metal clasps hanging heavily at the ends. _

_The snap of rubber, and then gloved hands are pushing him in the direction of the chair, the latex fingers pressing deeply into his muscle, no doubt leaving tiny purple bruises in their wake. _

_"Bend over," a cold voice coarsely states, throat hoarse with something Zero immediately tenses at the thought of._

"Yes."

Zero's face puckers slightly in displeasure. "Okay."

* * *

><p>He stands in front of the bathroom mirror, turning from side to side, studying the pink-white marks that adorn his body. The physical hadn't been as bad as he feared - far from it actually. Certainly nothing like he'd imagined. They just had to make sure he didn't have fleas or something ridiculous like that before he could come in contact with the other patients.<p>

He had, on the brighter - but still exceptionally dim - side, learned her name, the nurse, Kyo. His nurse, he was told. She would be, as the doctors had phrased it, his guide. She was supposed to look after him, make sure he didn't do anything that might stir trouble - ha! Make sure he didn't try to leave is all that Zero heard from that.

His hands slide up his stomach, and over his ribcage, counting each rib, tracing the blue inked tattoo that covers the nearly invisible scar that has finally begun to hurt less, for the most part at least. Kaien had told him that it wouldn't last, on that fateful night - that it, and the pain, would fade in a few weeks time. It turned out being more like seven or eight of them, and sometimes if he presses against it hard enough, it feels like they're there again, scraping across his soft, pliable flesh, and then puncturing it with a sharply sloppy and rushed bite.

He never really got too worried over it - that scar. Because, scars? They're the one thing that he truly owns. One thing that nobody will ever take away from him. Scars and memories. His family? Dead. But the scars?

He turns to the side, and bleary eyes fall upon old marks. A scrape that's not very long, starting in the center of his thigh and extending down, hovering a few inches above his knee cap. He gotten it when he was seven - rash and clumsy. He'd climbed a tree - the highest one near their house - with the excuse of fetching two apples - one for his brother, and the other for himself - but they both knew the truth. He was really doing it just to prove he could. To prove to Ichiru that someone could.

When he'd reached the top, he felt like a god. He could see the entire world from up there; the grass, the buildings, the people - they were all _so_ tiny, unimportant, insignificant. The air was so much cleaner, the sun was so much brighter - nothing else mattered. Zero hadn't a care in the world. That is, of course, until he'd gotten a little too self-assured - his gall had always been one of his greatest faults. He'd crawled out on a branch, arms extended outward, clenching the slender bark between his knees - _he felt like he was weightless; he was flying!_ - and then snap!

He had been hurled to the ground, hitting the dirt with a great, big thud. It hurt - hurt more than anything else he'd every experienced.

Later, he would be told by a pleasant, rosy cheeked man, who carried around all kinds of tools - which intrigued Zero to no end - that he'd dislocated his shoulder. The elder then, with a warm smile, would give his mother a bottle of pills, claiming they were for the pain. Zero would doubt that those teensy capsules would do all that much, but he wouldn't dare argue. His parents would be angry enough as is.

He'd also give Zero five stitches to close up the gaping hole in his leg. Although it would hurt, Zero would be happy about this. The crimson liquid oozing from it had quite a stench, almost like rusted iron.

Blood had always made Zero queasy and lightheaded.

But at the time, when he had realized what'd happened - when he'd remember the carving knife that he'd stuck carelessly in his pocket, intending on using it to cut the apples (After all, it was the only way Ichiru would eat them) - when he'd seen the red staining the front of his pants, felt the biting sting, and heard that ghastly pop.

It was the most he'd ever cried in his entire life.

So yeah, he remembers that scar.

Frowning at his reflection, Zero traces the now tiny scratch, but this one does not ignite with an aching pain. This one is normal - the signs of a typical childhood. The living proof of a story he was supposed to be able to tell his children someday with a laugh.

But that was all different now.

He clutches the rim of the toilet seat as he sticks his head in, coughing up what little he had left from two days ago in his stomach, the acidic taste burning his throat like he's choking out tiny flames.

He'd always been able to fool himself - to maintain the lie for a day longer.

But, for some reason, he couldn't now. Everything he'd ever hoped for, every plan that could no longer be, finally settled in the pit of his stomach, filling him with a heavy wave of disappointment and anger and something else he couldn't identify. Something even more useless than the first two - a feeling of horror as he realizes that this is it. This is all it ever will be.

Assuming Zero is somehow miraculously 'cured', which he doubts the likelihood of, what exactly was he expecting to happen?

To get married? To have children?

Even if he wasn't constantly hindered by potent bloodlust, he would still always be a vampire. With all the crazy loops and turns his life taken - and probably would still take - at least that was a constant. Too bad it was the part of himself that he despised most. How morbidly funny that it would be the only thing he couldn't change - and oh so typical.

Because, in reality, when others looked at him, that's what they saw, right? That's what the redhead, Kyo, and those doctors saw. A vampire. And, by definition, that's what he is, right?

Zero thinks he's going to be ill again.

A sound from the outside the bathroom door makes him forget his queasiness and push himself up off the floor, shirt unbunching and unceremoniously falling back over his torso. He stares at himself in the mirror again for a second, deer in headlights as he listens to see if the sound will continue. It does.

A knock. "Kiryuu-kun? Are you okay?" It's Kyo - he recognizes her voice.

_No_, he wants to say, but he can't, because that's not what she means.

With a great sigh, Zero unlocks the door and closes it behind his body as he steps outside the infirmary's private bathroom, looking fantastically like he belonged with his damp, freshly-washed silver locks and blue-gray scrubs - abit of a stretch from the truth. He lets the door creak, and Kyo looks up, eyebrows raised, waiting.

A pause before Zero manages a, "Hi."

"Just wanted to see how you were doing," she explains, forgoing a returned hello with a nod of the head, not really sure how to respond to such non-hostile, and not at all introverted, behavior. Zero chokes out a laugh, more of a huffed breath, and attempts to adjust his shirt.

"I threw up," he mumbles, not meeting her eyes.

The nurse blinks, surprised at the admission. "Okay, we can fix that. The vitamin supplements you were given sometimes have that effect. I'll just tell the pharmacist to lower your dosage."

The air is thick as Zero nods, imagining that he could probably swim through the tension.

Kyo giggles awkwardly, teetering back and forth on her feet. "I feel silly now." She doesn't wait for a response to add, "I brought you food, but if you're not feeling well, I can - "

"No," Zero interjects, just now noticing the plastic container in her hand and the enticing aroma coming off it in steams, creeping slowly towards his nose - drawing him in. "No, I feel fine - kind of hungry, actually."

She smiles, "Well then, here. Take it." She hands him the bowl, and even through the plastic, he can feel its delicious warmth. "It's oatmeal," she says at the look of disgust that crosses his features when he peeks inside the tupperware. "I know it looks nasty, but it's really good, I promise. Look, I even brought sugar," Kyo states, showing him her other hand that's clutching a spoon with her pointer finger and thumb, and is pinching two tiny, pink packets between the middle and ring ones.

Snorting, Zero runs a hand though his dripping bangs, and _oh, what the hell!_ He gracelessly plucks the silverware and sugar from her hand and tears the paper with his teeth, both at the same time - an impressive skill indeed - and dumps their contents into the disgustingly lumpy, brown mixture.

Kyo grins reassuringly and brings her hand to her face, mimicking an eating motion, invisible spoon and all.

Reluctantly, he obeys, taking a large scoop into his mouth, resisting the urge to hold his nose just in case.

A savory sweet taste with just a hint of cinnamon - it's not only good, but delicious.

He doesn't dare tell her, though.

* * *

><p>He wakes up in the middle of a nightmare.<p>

It's neither traditional nor expected. Far from the typical form of horror. It's not a mangled, bloodied body, crawling on his ceiling, head twisting at an inhuman angle, a sharp, razor-teeth grin painting its ash white face; not an angered ghost, gripping his neck tightly in its icy hands so hard that a string of drool escapes out the side of its mouth.

He wakes up in the middle of a nightmare, and he has absolutely no idea what's going on.

A cry pierces through the blanket of darkness and he cringes, eyes so wide he can nearly see into the back of his head. He clenches at the sheets of the bed he's laying in, the satin bunching willingly under his force, clammy body drenched with sweat, dampening the silky black of his sleep pants. He feels the electricity buzzing through his brain.

The walls around him are familiar - as they should be. It _is _his room, after all. But even this knowledge does little to placate the panic that's building in the center of his chest, wrapping around his heart and contracting, forcing the muscle to beat faster and faster. He moves his foot, an action barely above a twitch and the already precariously placed blanket slips off, exposing the bare skin to the nipping air. He crys out again, shocked that the small movement causes his stomach to twist and knot, an incisive pinch starting in his abdomen and soon spreading like wildfire to his lungs and throat.

"What?" he chokes, dazed.

He knows there's no one in the room except for him, and yet he can't fight the tingling paranoia that creeps slowly into his mind, tainting it with illusions of motion in the stillness and shifting sounds in the silence.

He blinks again, and the movement is slow, weak and groggy, his eyelids nearly glued together by hours of sleep.

A quick stab in his gut, and he is jerked into complete awareness, snapping upright and splaying his hands over the stinging sensation, nearly expecting it to be stained with crimson when he removes one, and head turning into a dizzying disarray when he sees it isn't.

He inhales and the air smells musky, like sweat.

The confusion and pain begin to further morph into terror, and he finds himself trying to stand up, desperate despite the numbness sinking into his bones, the muscles lax. He almost gets enough momentum to swing his tingling leg over the edge, but suddenly it gives out and just flails to slightly to the side, like the twitching of a dead bug.

A sob breaks through his panicked breathing, and he brings his leadened hands to lie atop his naked stomach, massaging it vigorously, trying to kneed out the hurt like a cramp, disregarding the alarming amount of time it takes for his nerve endings to even recognize that he's being touched, and even then, the feeling of skin on skin is faint. He doesn't think it will help - not really. The twinging in his middle is too severe to be cured by such a simple remedy.

There's no connection that clicks, none at all. His thinking isn't even the least bit stimulated by the idea of a burning ache in his stomach. He knows that it's supposed to mean something - that what it signifies is far more daunting than the feeling itself - but inside the safety of his own head, it has no value whatsoever. All his brain can truly register is pain.

"Help," he whispers, voice cracking. He barely recognizes it.

Arms braced on the cushioned mattress, he tries to struggle his way off the bed once more. The licking flames of agony have weakened him, and in the end, he can't do much more than fall back against wet bed again.

His eyes begin to drift closed, and this time, he fears they might not reopen.

A door - his door - slams open, hitting the wall behind it with a bang and bouncing off it, right back into the shoulder of its assailent. A mass of shining blonde hair emerges from behind the chaos with a grunt, and its rightful face is revealed with pale skin and vivid green eyes. Its soft, pink lips are downturned into a frown, and they open slightly and tremble. It takes him a minute, but he realizes they're shaking with movement. They're speaking.

"Kaname-sama?"

The noise knocks on his forehead, right near his temple. _Anyone home?_ But he can't identify the sound. He repeats it in his head silently, _Kaname-sama_, to try to understand the purpose of the word.

_Kaname-sama._

Nothing. He blinks, eyes unfocused, fixated somewhere between one wall and the other, right in the shadowed corner. _Kaname-sama_. Nothing.

And then, there's another sound. It's a thudding kind of flutter, like an eagle's wings or a big, fat bass drum. The pattern replays at a consistent beat.

_Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump._

It ignites his insides.

Before he can realize it, before he can even string together any thought, he is up, limbs suddenly strong and sinewy, pulsing with capability in each flex, and he is flying across the room, towards the sound - towards the door.

_Kaname-sama. _Nothing.

His hand shoots out, a dead accurate aim at its target, and finds it - finds what he's been looking for, what he's been needing - and yanks, dragging his sharpened fingernails against the flesh, drawing a burgundy liquid, darkened by the blackness of the room. He ignores the responding gasp and tug, instead choosing to study how the colors runs out in a smooth and steady stream, dripping off the edge of white and onto his carpet.

_Kaname-sama. _Nothing.

He raises the bleeding arm to his lips and flicks his tongue out, a slithering snake, and with that one taste, he can't hold it in any longer.

His mouth latches onto the wound - a leech devoring, drinking for all it's worth. He feels resistance on his shoulder blades, slamming harshly onto the bones, but he doesn't care. He just slurps and sucks until the pounding on his back ceases, and he hears a pitiful cry of submission.

"Kaname-sama, _please_. Stop."

_Kaname-sama._

His name. That's his name.

And he does. He does stop. He freezes, drops the hand, and stops.

His eyes lift from his crime, his sin - the blood-drenched, sticky mess he's made of the flesh. With his rejuvenated strength, he brings his arm up to his mouth and wipes away the shame along with the burgundy smears on his mouth and chin. The reddened lips move and a smacking sound is released when they seperate, parting to form one word.

"Takuma?"


	5. Chapter 4

**RE-EDITED to be more visually pleasing!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing...sadface...**

* * *

><p><em>Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.<em>

* * *

><p>Chapter 4: The Plan<p>

The green eyed noble looked up, mouth agape.

The pureblood was so close he could see the blonde's eyelashes fluttering with each of his shaky inhales. He could see Takuma's lips trembling, pulling together and apart at a rapid pace, as if they couldn't decide whether they was going to say something or not. He could see the Level B's nose, still and silent as night, wrinkled, like he wasn't breathing through it - and later, when Kaname was in his better mind, he would realize why.

Most importantly, he could see his eyes, tinted darker to a shade of pine-green, innocently wide with pure, unadulterated fear.

When the noble stumbles backwards, nearly hysterically, grasping anxiously at the door knob, and in his haste, missing it every time, Kaname finds it exceptionally hard to swallow down the overwhelming feeling of guilt that clumps in his throat, sharp and prickly like thousands of needles.

Kaname reaches out, finding the knob on his first try, twists, and pulls. He lets go after that, allowing Takuma the comfort of leaving without the pureblood's hand a few mere inches away from his paling face.

Takuma rushes out, without an ounce of demur, and Kaname can hardly blame him for his obvious fright.

Because, frankly, he himself is quite terrified.

* * *

><p>"And you didn't tell me?"<p>

Yagari was furious. Had the situation been lighter, Kaien would have imagined puffs of steam spouting from his ears like a steam locomotive. And then followed by the blaring, high-pitched air whistle:

"You _fucking _asshole!"

Accurate, but no - this was definitely not the right situation.

To be honest, when he had invited Yagari over, he wasn't sure what to expect. After Zero's funeral, neither had every really found any solid ground. Kaien hadn't realized how much of their lives they'd dedicated to the preservation of one boy, and an angsty vampire teenager no less! Still, he would have never ever predicted his quick admission. He supposed it was Yagari's lifeless expression that did it. The man was gruff, sarcastic, and often times vulgar, but he had never once been referred to as indifferent and reserved. Until now, Kaien had forgotten how much he truly enjoyed the man's coarse, crude, and sardonic nature. The ex-hunter found himself longing for ill-humored jabs when he instead recieved a polite greeting and ridiculously boring small talk.

Obviously, Kaien wasn't the only one that considered Zero as his own flesh and blood.

So when the vampire hunter actually went as far as to comment on the weather, Kaien knew he could not keep his promise to Zero, and hell, it had been three whole days. That was fairly impressive for the blabber-mouthed Chairman, if he did say so himself.

A hand found its way to the collar of Kaien's shirt, gripping the material into a fist like a lifeline. Which honestly, kind of hurt.

"Explain. Now." Yagari hissed each word viciously between his clenched teeth. He yanked the Chairman closer to his face so that his torso was suspended awkwardly above his desk.

"You're making a mess of my paper work," Kaien muttered, like a back-talking child.

"_Cross_**."**

Even with death, or Yagari in this sense, staring him straight in the face - a not-so-nice one, might he add - Kaien stuck his nose high in the air and pouted.

"I _refuse_ to tell you anything until you release me immediately and drop the attitude. Wars have been declared on _more civil _terms."

With a thud, the ex-hunter was, as he requested, dropped onto the desk, knocking over a stack of papers and a pen holder. A few pens that had scattered across the floor were cruelly stomped on by Yagari in his fit of rage.

With an eye roll, Kaien huffed, "Always with the dramatics." He bent over to pick up the loose papers, placing them haphazardly onto the the wooden table. He chose to leave the pens at the mercy of the hunter; Cross was smart enough to pick his battles. "Now, where were we before you so rudely abused my shirt?"

Yagari gaped. "You've kept this from me for for three fucking days! Forgive me for responding _negatively_."

Kaien surpressed the urge to grin, despite the gravity of their conversation. No longer did the reticent, dreary shell stand in front of him, and for that, he was thankful. But now was not the time - he could rekindle their friendship later. For right now, their shaky, unstable grounding would just have to do.

"Right," the Chairman nodded flippantly. "And I assume you'll want the complete, unabridged explanation, correct?"

Yagari scowled.

"Yes?"

His scowl deepened.

Kaien sighed, "Well then," he paused while lowering himself into his plush chair, resting his elbows on the paper-pen calamity that was his desk."Let me begin by confirming that yes, Zero did not kill himself the night of his 'death'. As a matter of fact, he is very much _alive_."

* * *

><p><em>It wasn't unusual for Zero to be out and about so late at night. He <em>was_ a vampire after all, no matter how much he tried to deny it. As a matter of fact, Zero often enjoyed the time he spent under the quiet, peacefulness of the moon - it provided him with a few uninterrupted moments of relaxation. Moments where he could pretend that absolutely nothing was wrong. That Yuuki wasn't a pureblood. That he was a hunter and a hunter only. That he hadn't killed his only remaining family member, Ichiru. That his parents weren't dead. _

_It was, however, strange for him to spend that time with Kaien Cross, who Zero found to be the exact opposite of quiet and peaceful. It wasn't the ideal use of a night this cool and calming, either, but Zero knew that it had to be done now, that he couldn't prolong it any longer._

_Kaien had been delighted, albeit surprised to have the young hunter knock on his office door at midnight. Of course, being the worried guardian that he is, his first response after inviting the boy in and fetching him a cup of steaming chamomile tea, was, "Regardless of your position as a prefect, Zero-kun, it would be prudent if, after tonight, you don't make a habit of breaking curfew. We wouldn't want any wandering Day class students to see you and follow your example."_

_Zero scoffed, glaring into the cup in his hands. The tea was a brown transparent enough to see a layer of grounded tea leaves decorating the bottom of the mug. It was probably instant. Disgusting. "You never had a problem with it before."_

_Kaien frowned, entirely too aware of what before Zero was referring to - the before that had only _one_ vampire as a prefect, not two._

_Zero cleared his throat. "Chairman, I have an issue I need to speak with you about, and I'd appreciate if you'd keep an open mind."_

_The ex-hunter swallowed a groan. These words were never a good sign, and typically, neither was Zero's sudden eloquence (the boy was hardly one for formalities). It meant that this 'discussion' had been practiced in the young boy's head a multitude of times. The last time Kaien could recall witnessing such a rehearsed manner of speaking from the silverette was when Zero had informed him of his body's rejection to the blood pills. Definitely not the best example to refer to when trying to maintain a positive attitude towards Zero's proclamation._

_"I'll do my very best."_

_The moment where Zero realized that was the best he was going to get could be viewed clearly in his face. He exhaled shakily, and his eyes dropped to the ground in an uncharacteristic demonstration of diffidence. Then, with twitching fingers, he reached into his uniform pants' pocket and pulled out a wrinkled, envelope. It was clumsily torn halfway open - a perfectly recognizable mark of an impatient, disorderly boy. _

_When Kaien catches a glimpse of the blood red seal, the letter's _H_ and _A_ interweaving and overlapping one another in an elegant font, he discovers that it's not only the messy tear that he is familiar with, but the actual letter itself. He remembers it now - can see it laying on the very corner of his desk, atop a rather large stack of unsorted junk mail, notes addressed to students, and parent connection letters. The ex-hunter recalls the grimace that had taken place on his face at the sight of the Hunter's Association seal of approval, comfirming that the incased letter was completely genuine. He had been slightly irritated. How many years would it take for them to realize that he was absolutely not interested? Did the term 'ex-hunter' mean nothing?_

Why_, he thought,_ did Zero have his letter? _He almost admonished the boy for disrespecting his privacy, until he saw the grim expression stretched from Zero's chin to the tip of his forehead, concealed by his silvered chunks of bangs. _

_"I found this on your desk Monday morning. It was addressed to me, so I figured it would be okay to take it." Kaien nodded, biting his lip. What could the Hunter's Association possibly have to say to Zero that they couldn't share with himself? It couldn't be anything good, that's for sure. "I went ahead and read it, and well, you can read it too, if you'd like, but, uh..." Zero once again dropped his head to the ground, allowing his hair to form a miniature silver waterfall between the two of them. _

_Kaien stretched his hand out towards Zero's. The boy now had him extremely worried. It took a lot for Zero to get visibly upset - anger and frustration not included for obvious reasons... - so obviously, the boy wasn't pleased by the message. Before his finger tips could even comfortingly brush against the back of Zero's cold fist, the boy's head shot up, a new determination igniting a redish-orange in the lilac of his eyes._

_"I've already come to a decision," he stated, "And I'm not asking for your approval. I'm doing what I want to do regardless of what you have to say." The wrinkled paper of the envelope whined in protesting crinkling sounds as the vampire gripped it tighter. As a second thought, he back-tracks, almost self-consciously, "It would be useful though, to have your support."_

_Kaien said nothing. He wasn't going to even consider betting until all cards were on the table._

_"It's from the Hunter's Association, as I'm sure you know. The letter it - well - it guarantees me a first spot in one of the studies their conducting." Zero blinked before continuing. "Apparently, they have a specific ward for degrading Level D's, and... the Association believes they've discovered the cure. They said I could be like I... use to. They said they could fix me - " his voice cracks, as he flushes silently, "How could I refuse?" _

_It pains Kaien to hear that tone - one of complete and utter hopelessness. He may not understand Zero that well (But then again, who can understand a teenage boy's way of thinking, anyway, besides one themself?), but he does _know_ him. He's looked after the kid for six years now. How could he not recognize when the boy was sad, happy, frightened, mad, anxious, anything? Zero was his son, his boy, and he knew when he was lying, whether or not Zero realized this - which, Kaien assumed he didn't considering Zero attempted to tell him fibs all the time. So, of course he saw that the silver-haired vampire's admittance to 'wanting' to go was definitely far from the truth, judging by the dark depression tinting those lilac eyes a haunting shade of violet. This could mean only one thing..._

_"They're not giving you a choice," Kaien announced with horror._

_Zero did not respond. He was all clenched his fists, tensed shoulders, and a straining neck. _

_"Zero," Kaien murmured, "You can't be happy with this decision?"_

_Nothing. Just the wind whistling against the half-opened window._

_"Zero, I don't ask for much - or at least, not really - but I do ask this: trust me, please. You don't want to do this. To waste your life? You could be so much more_. _Here, let me talk to them. I'm sure I could _- "

"No!" _Zero shouted with wild eyes. "They can't know that I told you this. If they did, they would - they would..." he trailed off, bringing his hand to run through his hair, massaging his temple with his palm. "Just please, _don't_. No one - absolutely no one - else can know. They can't even know that I left."_

_"Zero-kun," Kaien stated reasonably, knowing he had a better chance appealing to Zero's common sense. If he wasn't calm - if he pushed too much and let his emotions interfere - Zero would shut down, arguing, screaming, doing whatever it took to get his way. "People _are _going to _know_. You're a prefect - both classes see you _everyday_. If you suddenly left... they'd realize something's up."_

_The Level D's jaw clenched at his words. He turned his head slightly to the right, fixing his empty gaze on something else - _anything else_. He sucked in a hiccupped breath before saying, "I - I assumed you'd say that, so I came up with an idea. A plan. And I need your help, so please, _just listen_."_

* * *

><p>School was never really one of the things Zero excelled in. Could he take down three Level E's with nothing but his bare hands? Yes, he could; as a matter of fact, he <em>had.<em> Now, could he ring together enough patience to settle down for an hour with his nose buried in a history textook? Debatable.

It wasn't that Zero wasn't smart, because he _was_. He was exceptionally smart. Although Ichiru was always considered the brainiac of the family, his ex-human twin brother definitely was not lacking in the intellect department. When it came to useful knowledge, like exactly how many seconds it took for an anti-vampire bullet to kick in, or that breaking a vampire's neck still gives it a little less than a minute left alive - and that just a minute would be all it needed, if you weren't careful - he was just about as brilliant as could be.

But history? Zero would rather just be doomed to repeat it; at least that way, he wouldn't have to subject himself to reading one thousand pages of words that would be tossed aside to the back of his mind, like a torn paper bag, the second his eyes lifted them off the thin paper.

So yeah, intelligence wasn't exactly the problem. His poor performance in his classes had more do to with the issue of attendance. Having the ability to wake up every morning knowing he would have to sit through eight painful hours of a monotone instructor going on and on about logarithms and other petty things he really couldn't even find an ounce of caring to give was definitely something he needed help with. Sure, a long time ago, Cross and Yuuki had tried to tempt him out of bed with tales of sunshine and hard boiled eggs, but then he'd just end up conking out in the middle of lessons anyway, so the prefect and headmaster gave up - deciding that if he stayed in bed 'sick', at least it would save some face.

But with a heavy heart and a deep scowl, Zero somehow doubts Kyo is going to surrender that easily. After all, when she'd mentioned classes the night before, it hardly seemed to be presented as an option.

So instead, here he is, primped and prodded like a freaking show pony, sitting inside an empty classroom, and shoved into a tiny desk - the uncomfortable kind that consists of a black plastic chair connected to a smooth, wooden slate by a curving metal rod. The hunter briefly plays with the idea that, typically, classes are supposed to have other students or at least a teacher. Not that he really minded either, because people were another contributing factor to his - growing - dislike of education.

With a heaving sigh, Zero leans forward lazily, and rests his head in the cradle of his hands.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh, c'mon Zero, don't lie! You <strong>_**love**_** being primped and prodded like a show pony! XD**


	6. Chapter 5

**RE-EDITED to be more visually appealing!**

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING...sadface...**

* * *

><p><em>Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.<em>

* * *

><p>Chapter 5: Ambiguously Obvious and Explicitly Unclear<p>

_Kaien exhaled a quick and choppy breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Zero's words ran on repeat in his head, filling his every thought, echoing loudly in his ears until they were the _only_ thing his mind could register - needy and demanding, just like a child._

"The solution is simple really," _Zero had claimed, as if the assurance could extinguish any of Kaien's anxiety. As if a single handkerchief could smother a rapidly growing flame - brilliant and licking. _

_As if calling it a solution, really made it one._

_"They'll have to think I'm dead." _

Dead?

_How bad did the situation have to be for Zero to even think of such a request? To ask for Kaien to aid him in faking his death? Didn't he know what this would do to Yuuki? To Toga? To _him_?_

_What wasn't Zero telling him?_

_Kaien jumped from his seat, throwing his fists loudly onto his desk. The impact was strong enough to knock Zero's untouched tea to the wood flooring, the porcelain shattering into billions of tiny, insignificant pieces. For a briefly bizarre moment, Zero considered trying to pick them up, to salvage what was left of the ceramic cup, but quickly decided against it. After all, it was only useful when it was whole - not broken and battered. It could hardly serve its purpose after being so dramatically altered. All it could do now was splinter into skin, leaving irritatingly painful cuts. It couldn't do what it was meant because of its handicap, so where was this obsolete cup to go? Surely no one wanted it now..._

_"That's insane," Kaien stated, brushing away Zero's idea like a pesky fly. _

_Zero panicked, "Chairman, you're the only one! I can't ask anyone else... I can't do this by myself..." His eyes glazed over - a strange milky film shrouding his vivid violet irises. His hand that had been innocently lying in his lap rose to pull at the ends of his hair - tugging and_ tugging_, trying to force back the overwhelming fright. Trying to push aside the worries that sprung forward in his mind, disguised as mess of words and pictures and colors - specifically _red_. _

_Trying to hold it together. _

_Had he been in his right mind, Zero would have noted how coming here, stuffed to the brim with this paranoid sort of terror - no doubt a result of his lack of sleep and lack of food - was not one of his brightest ideas._ _How long had it been since he'd last fed? He hardly could remember..._

_"Okay," Kaien said, the volume starting at a whisper and crescendoing - words increasing with passion. "Tell me, Zero. Tell me this is what you want. Really, honestly, say it. And I'll let you go! I will! But you have to mean it. Really mean it." The last sentence was yelled with blazing eyes and spit flying. His voice then lowers, barely above a murmur, "And I'll help you. I will," he repeats this as if he was trying to convince _himself_, rather than the youth._

_Once again, the suddenly tiny and cramped room is filled with quiet._

_Until Zero finally decisively whispers, "I do want to."_

* * *

><p>"So you <em>let<em> him do this?" Yagari snapped, hands thrown up in an incredulous manner.

Kaien lowered his head, studying his cracked and dry intertwined hands. "What else was I supposed to do?" he asked, voice barely above a murmur. Expecting a quick growl of, '_Something'_ or '_Anything'_ in a sardonic and bitter tone, Kaien looks up, eyes flickering warily across his dear friend's jutting and masculine features. He anticipates anger - he deserves anger.

"How?" Yagari asked, eyes ablazed - demanding.

Cross blinked. "How what?"

The hunter scoffed, moving away from the window towards the cozy, plush chair in front of Kaien's desk. He hovered awkwardly over it for a minute and then plopped down ungracefully. He cleared his throat, but it did little to smooth the roughness in his tone. "How did he do it? Surely the vampires could smell that he wasn't there - when he wasn't in his - his coffin," he stops there, wincing at the word.

Kaien faltered. He had not been expecting that. "I - I just followed him, really. He never specifically said how he was going to... do it... so when I heard the gunshot, _well_, I just did what I could. I went to his room - it was still exactly the same. He hadn't taken a _single thing _with him besides that _blasted_ gun," Kaien chuckles weakly. "I was completely clueless. I had no idea what to do until I saw it." His eyes narrow, flickering dangerously with something Yagari finds he can't quite describe. "_On his bed_, there was a vial, no bigger than a thumb's length, and it was filled with...it was filled with _his blood_. I suppose he thought the same thing you had - about the coffin not smelling like him - so before the funeral, I just put it in there. I was... I was so _scared _that it wouldn't be enough - that someone would find out, but _I guess..._" the ex-hunter trails off, glancing timidly at his friend. "_I guess it worked_.**"**

Again, he braces himself for anger of the nastiest kind - or even worse, complete, indifferent silence. Perhaps the hunter would just _give up_. Perhaps he was tired of his friend. Tired of the lies.

But instead, for the second time that day, Yagari surprises him. Rather than a brooding expression or a deep, wide-set frown, he is given a sad smile, one that didn't quite really meet the elder hunter's eyes. It was practically dripping with sympathy, running off of the thin lips and onto his rug, staining it with the invisible _memory forever._

_No,_ Kaien wanted to screech at the top of his lungs, until his throat was scratchy and dry. He wanted Yagari to tell him how he'd failed, to tell him what a horrible excuse for a guardian was. He wanted the hunter to say that he hates him. He wants the truth.

Not this - he didn't want this pained expression.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. You did all you could - more than I could've, that's for sure." It takes Kaien a second to realize the man was answering his question from before... _What else was I supposed to do?_ Yagari chuckles, but it's a shallow sound. His usually harsh face softens as he adds, "It wasn't your fault."

Kaien didn't want forgiveness. But at the same time, he craved it.

The two men exchange looks, both unreadable, implicit only to the other. Yagari hadn't apologized, and Kaien hadn't thanked him - but to them, it was enough. A single glance and they knew, they felt it. They were in this together - they were okay. Zero would be okay. It's such a comforting, serene feeling that Kaien doesn't want to shatter it - he wants to hold on for just a second longer.

But this matter was far too pressing - too vital and urgent - to be selfishly held back that second longer.

"There's something else I'd like to discuss with you," And with those few words, the air is once again tense, electricity buzzing - crackling in tiny sparks. "It's something," Kaien continues, "Something I'd forgotten - something even _Zero_ had overlooked. I fear we've both made a mistake, and if left in its current condition, the resulting consequences will be disastrous."

"What?" Yagari asked, eyebrows raising.

Kaien's eyes shined beneath the flashing lenses of his glasses, his frown deepening. "_Kuran Kaname_."

* * *

><p>"And then..."<p>

"'And then' what?"

Takuma looks down, suddenly very interested in the Moon dorm's carpet. He squirms uncomfortably to the edge of the couch, leg nervously bouncing up and down. Despite everything that happened, it still felt very, very awkward talking about his leader - and best friend - in such an ill manner. As a matter of fact, he'd considered not breathing a single word, but of course, once he'd fleed Kaname's room in such a hurried haste and Shiki had caught wind of the intoxicating - according to the model, not Takuma - scent of his blood, the grayish blue-eyed vampire had regarded him with great suspicion, and to be completely honest, the blonde noble was simply put, a horrible liar. It only took a few mere minutes of Shiki's inane ability to ask just the right questions and Takuma had cracked.

His green eyes are glazed slightly, holding back a sheen of tears. It was embarrassing enough to tell his friend Shiki, but _now?_ With all the other's here, he was mortified. Never before had he felt so violated. It wasn't like the pureblood had never drank his blood before, because he had. It was just, never had Kaname so ruthlessly taken it, without any permission, like it wasn't Takuma's to give.

His voice is barely above a whisper - he fears if he speaks any louder, it might crack, catching on the dry walls of his throat - when he finally continues, "And then, he - well, he _drank_."

Kain nods, eyebrows knit together, still processing the information. "And you're sure he didn't use any - "

"No," Takuma quickly interjected, hands raised and palms forward, shaking them incessantly as if doing so would increase the credibility of his words. "No teeth. He _didn't _bite me."

The others release a breath of relief, almost in tandem, and despite the situation, Takuma can't help but find this amusing. Apparently, stating this truth four times still hadn't gotten the point across.

"But..." a soft, feminine voice trails off, and Takuma turns to see it's Yuuki, whose eyes, while similar in color to her brother's, were as about as different as can be - they held a certain delicateness to them. Her wine-red orbs almost sparkled with their iridescent and unusual tone, giving off the appearance of warmth, like that of a sunny day, or the flames of a cozy furnace. Kaname's had a likeness to wildfire, nearly nonexistant and quiet until sparked, and by then, unable to be contained, flickering maliciously at all that came in its path, _daring _you to even attempt to extinguish it. "I mean, you said he didn't bite you. That means something, right? He must've at least had a vague understanding of what was going on."

Takuma is shaking his head before she has even finished. "I think him scratching me was an accident. A fortunate one, indeed, but definitely not a conscious decision. After that, well, he simply reacted. The blood - my blood - was already spilled, so there was really no point in wasting the time it'd take to bite me. Yuuki-hime, you _have to understand_, you should have seen the look in his eyes. It was like a wild animal's. When he," he pauses, knowing the right word, but not wanting to voice it.

An encouraging look from Shiki, and he musters up the courage to say it. To say what he's been thinking - what he knows they've all been thinking. "When he _attacked_, you - you should have seen his expression. It was as if there was no soul behind it. All I saw was _hunger_. I saw it, so evident beneath those dilated pupils, and I knew - _I just knew_ _what was going to happen next_."

He didn't say the other part that jumped up his throat and to the tip of his tongue - that the resemblance was striking. That Kaname had looked so much like something else, something far more worrisome. At that moment, in that room, when their gazes had met, Takuma saw the impossible. The pureblood, with that aura that just oozed nobility even when ferally bearing his fangs, looked so much like a Level E.

The sudden silence that plagues the group tells him that they are thinking the same.

It's interrupted though, and by the only person who would do so at such a time: Aidou clears his throat, though not for the conventional purpose. He uses the action as more of an attention-getter, which doesn't, in the least, surprise Takuma, and, judging by the look of exasperated annoyance on the fiery vampire's face, Kain doesn't appear too shocked either.

"I think I know what's wrong - why he's like _this_."

* * *

><p><em>He's in a room, only, it's nothing like the one he had fallen asleep to. This one is disconsolate - dingy tiles covering the walls, each smeared with a grimy mixture of brown and red. The scent of staleness is heavy in the air, along with the puncturing fragrance of iron rust, and Zero finds that regardless of the depth of the breaths he takes, his lungs still clench and groan in discomfort from the lack of fresh oxygen. <em>

_Below his feet, illuminated by the dim, flickering lights overhead, is a trail of dark crimson, leading all the way to the very right corner of the dreary room, seemingly neverending because it does not fade, but simply merges into the pitch black painted there. _

_Then, there's a noise, soft like the tingling of a bell or the fluttering of a butterfly's wings and somewhere deep down inside himself, Zero just knows it's coming from the colorless corner. _

_His foot moves, a twitch nearly, and he's moving towards it. Towards the sinisterly light sound, and he has absolutely no idea why._

With a jump, Zero's lavender eyes snap open, heart pounding angrily against his rib cage. His skin is covered in a cold sweat, and it's already managed to soak his new uniform so badly that when he tries to use it to dry his clammy palms, they turn out twice as wet. With an ansty sort of huff, Zero looks up, expecting to be greeted with a deserted classroom.

Twenty pairs of eyes meet his, studying him with a cacophany of expressions. Seventeen of indifferent curiosity - like watching a bird go after a crumb - all highlighted by bored, half-lids. Two of wonder, though both in different manners - the first is from a woman about thirty or so, and she is obviously concerned, judging by her furrowed brow and wide pupils, and the other is owned by a child - a girl no more than ten, probably - who appears partially amused, hiding a quivering giggle behind tiny finger tips. And finally, one of politely detached professionalism. This final face belongs to warm, dark-blonde haired young man standing in the front of the room, obscuring part of the green chalk board - his appearance is so youthful, full of clear, unwrinkled skin and strong, yet lithe muscles hiding under the pressed fabric of his perfectly tailored dress shirt.

"Kiryuu Zero," the caramel-blonde says.

In a brief moment of disorientation and exhaustion, Zero's hand shoots up into the air, and he uncharacteristically upbeatedly states, "Here."

A pleasant, velvety chuckle - the kind that rings through the air melodically and silences everyone to an awed hush.

"_Obviously_."

Though he knows it is silly of him to even contemplate the idea, Zero can't help but be reminded of a voice very similar to this one's enchanting nature. Of course, even thinking of that person in a way that does not involve methods of torture, maiming, and death, was preposterous enough as is.

* * *

><p>Takuma and the others' ears perk up in poorly hidden interest. None of them necessarily wanted to give <em>Idol<em> the satisfaction, but the temptation was too great. Surprisingly, it's Kain who swallows his pride and humors the blue-eyed blonde's need for drama when he, with a defeated sigh, edgingly says, "Well, by all means, _tell away_."

Aidou grimaces at his relative's sarcastic tone, but trudges on with the most grace he can manage. "Well, just think about it. What's the _one _thing that could make even a _pureblood_ insane with bloodlust?"

The others simply respond with a several unamused, blank expressions, and his brow furrows, as if he'd assumed his words were red, bolded letters graffitied on the wall - that missing them was simply inconceivable.

"_Come on,_" Aidou pleads with over-the-top and animated expressions for each syllable. "_Think _about it."

And they do - or at least, they _try _to - but Takuma has no answer for Kaname's uncharacteristic behavior. What would draw such a bizarre and violent reaction from the typically collected pureblood? He searches his mind for anything, and there's a part of him deep inside that's screaming, Aidou's right! - that he is missing something vital. What could have possibly happened between before and now? Yesterday was just an average day, and the day before that, and - oh. Oh!

But it dawns on Ruka first - Takuma was a close second - and her face tugs into a sneer. "Surely you're_ not_ saying - "

"That's _precisely _what I'm saying," Aidou argues, blue orbs flashing in triumph.


	7. Chapter 6

**RE-EDITED to be more visually appealing!**

**So yeah, there's an OC (there are a few, actually) and I really would like to say that she's not important and will disappear in a few chapters, but that would be a total lie! So sorry! XD but don't worry, she's not gonna get between out boys, so it hardly matters anyway! **

**Feedback and reviews are greatly appreciated! XOXOXO**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is owned by me **_**obviously**_**...friggin'sadface...!**

* * *

><p><em>Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.<em>

* * *

><p>Chapter 6: Day One<p>

"First of all, I would like to thank each and every one of you for dedicating your time to our studies, and let me start by assuring you that your sacrifices and patience will _most certainly_ be rewarded," he grins while announcing this, because apparently he's just told them the greatest news they'll ever hear and couldn't be more thrilled to be the honored one delivering it. "Now," he continues, taking a few steps closer to the front row - too close for a typical hunter to be comfortable with. Zero assumes the man's trying to demonstrate trust by doing this, but being his cynical self, it just comes off as foolish to the silver-haired vampire. "When I first proposed the idea of this clinic to the council, they weren't entirely convinced. As a matter of fact, I believe their first reaction was somewhere along the lines of 'Wait, you _want_ to be alone in a room with Level D's?'"

There's a shared, nervous giggle that passes over the desks, down the rows, skipping Zero altogether, of course. Despite his bitterness at the man's initial 'thanks' - because frankly, hearing words like 'dedicating' and 'patience' made him want to punch someone in the throat - he had to admit, the young teacher was quite a talented speaker. It wasn't necessarily what he said, but the way he said it. One of the most important qualitites of an effective speech was its speaker's knowledge of their audience and their ability to relate to them. Blondie did exactly that - his point wasn't hindered with sesquipedalian words that only a dictionary would know the meaning of; his tone was casual and light, even joking. He knew how to put people at ease - to make them feel comfortable and safe - and how to make them like him.

These types of tactics typically have the opposite effect on Zero. He wasn't particularly fond of people who tried to manipulate his emotions.

The man beams at their responses, oblivious to Zero's seething gaze, or, if he isn't, he's very good at hiding it. "I eventually was able to persuade them, however, and I'd like to say that by the end of my spiel, they thouroughly supported my cause, but frankly, that probably wasn't the case. Now, I'm going to be honest with you, because I believe that honesty is one of the best ways of demonstrating respect, and I hope that in the future, you'll return the favor: the true reason for their easy acceptance of my offer was most likely due to the fact that it provided them with a cheap, affordable place to store your kind away, and would ultimately keep every single one of you from becoming a threat." He shakes his head and clicks his tongue in genuine-looking disappointment. "But I don't think we should be discouraged by this - quite the contrary actually. I don't think we should let them get to us. _I think we should prove them_ _wrong_."

A few people are nodding now, some with closed eyes and respectfully bowed heads. Others just continue to stare blankly into the man's flashing gray eyes.

With twice as much passion as before, the speaker smiles widely, the hazel in his irises flickering with determination. "Which is why I could not delay it any further! Your road to recovery begins _now_. After all, there is no better time than the present. You've all already started the first few steps of your treatment."

The group looks around awkwardly, eaching person blinking, checking the vampire in front of them, behind them, and beside them for any bulky IVs or tricked-up wires.

This earns another warm laugh from the blonde man. "Don't look so worried," he soothes, "It's nothing _bad_."

Zero can't see how doing something to someone without their permission wouldn't be described as 'bad'.

"Look," the man sighs after taking in the _students' _dubious and apprehensive expressions, "Remember the vitamin supplement you were all given this morning?" He pauses, waiting for at least one listener to physically move their head up and down in a nod. A red-headed male two rows from the front appeases him first. "Well, each tablet contained a large dose of sugar, fat, protein, and a salt-based solution. These are some of the same main components of the plasma that makes up about sixty percent of our blood. So, in other words, you've all already received the nutrients your form requires for the day."

Zero's aching throat begged to differ.

"Of course, this means that you will not be provided with, or be permitted to consume, any _other _sources of nourishment beside the ones given to you by the nurses. And by _given to_, I mean willingly - stuff like human food and medications. _Absolutely no one_ is allowed to take what _isn't theirs_."

Despite his words being vague, it is made obvious by his suddenly pinched tone and narrowed eyelids what exactly he means.

"If any of you even do so much as attempt to bite or attack one of the clinic's staff members, or each other, for that matter, believe me when I say there _will be consequences_." His features soften again, and he throws a smoldering grin at the little girl Zero had noticed earlier. "But then again, I _have_ strong faith that we will never reach that point."

Zero can't help but hear the command in the compliment. After all, the man had never specifically said he had faith in them, just that he had faith that it wouldn't happen - that he had a full proof way of preventing it.

"I know this is a difficult task I'm asking of you, but believe me when I say, I _know _each and every one of you will succeed. Just like any other addiction, bloodlust is curable. Every bit of it - the constant cravings, the pain, the _need_ - it's all a state of mind. With the right positive outlook, _anything _can be accomplished. Within a few months, you can overcome your handicap, and become the strong, independent people I know you're destined to be."

The room is silent as what he said settles in, though Zero thinks he could take all the time in the world and still not fully understand what the man is offering. Nothing about his idea is too complex - nothing at all. It's just so - so ridiculous. Too idealistic. The type of thought that sounds good on paper.

But when it came to real life?

A elder man, gruff and graying, stands up abruptly, large, thick hands grabbing his tiny desk and shoving it aside with an irritated huff.

"Bullshit!" he yells, gritting his teeth and fisting his hands at his sides.

It's a trainwreck just waiting to happen; even after only one word, Zero can so clearly see that. They all can see that.

Yet they find they cannot look away.

The young blonde does not startle like the rest of them, and it's then that Zero realizes that this is what he had been expecting all along, because no matter how much he tried to sugar-coat the statement, he must've recognized that he would be basically telling them they're going to be starved.

No one says a word until the old, scraggily man continues, the whiskers on his face trembling with each movement of his cracked lips. "Don't you see?" he asks his classmates, eyes inflamed. "Don't you see what's happening?"

He looks pointedly at a member of the first row, the same girl Blondie had focused on not too long ago. Zero wonders why everyone feels the need to pick on her. But then he remembers, because oh yeah, being a kid sucks. She quivers under his intense gaze, and the woman beside her - who, judging by their same ocean blue eyes and similar nose shapings, Zero assumes is her mother - holds the child's hand in a death grip, glaring back into the dark, nearly black eyes of the screaming elder.

He sneers, his top lip pulling up to exposed stained, dulling fangs, and turns back to face the speaker. "Tell me how," he demands. "Tell me how you expect banning us from the _one _thing that keeps us from _falling_ is going to _keep us from falling_. Because, let me tell you, I can almost promise that at least half the people in this room will be an 'E by the end of this week."

A lady with shoulder-length waves of chocolate, stringy hair lets out a cry and buries her face in her palms. Another woman, three seats to Zero's right, begins shaking, tiny water droplets puddling on the corner of her wooden desk. A boy, not much older than Zero, is nodding his head furiously.

Blondie's face morphs. No longer is the charismatic and charming man that had a way with words before them. Instead, in its place is a kind of malice Zero had only had the displeasure of witnessing once.

_One eye an angry red, the other a a haunting blue. _

It's there for a second, and then it's gone - like a nervous twitch.

"Sit down," Blondie directs calmly, barren of all emotion.

And the man does. Because what else could he really do? What could any of them do?

"Now that _that_ part's all over and done with," he flashes a bright and toothy truimphant smile, "Let's begin on the topic of sponsors..."

But Zero can't think of anything else now but that cold, cruel gaze. He knows its owner is long gone, but he can't surpress that fear the creeps its way into his chest and drips into the pit of his stomach, heavy like a stone.

He knows he's not there. He knows that dwelling slows down the process of forgetting. He knows that he should be focusing on other more important matters - like this, for example. He knows that there was definitely a major flaw in this entire organization. He knows that he's not going to be able to stubbornly fight his way through this. He knows these kind of things take effort and time. But sometimes knowing isn't enough.

Sometimes knowing is even worse.

* * *

><p>"Okay," Kain mumbled, frustrated, running a hand across his face, trailing it along his jaw bone until it cupped and rubbed the back of his straining neck. "Let's pretend that you're right." Aidou's mouth opens in protest, but he is stopped by his cousin's quick hand that raises, "No. No talking until I'm finished. You had your turn." The fiery haired vampire fixes him with an admonishing glare, daring his polar opposite to disobey.<p>

With a reluctant sigh, Aidou nods in defeat and waits silently for Kain to continue.

"Good," Kain mutters, trying his very best at the last-minute to take the condescending edge out of his tone, knowing that it would grate at Aidou's last nerve if he left it as is - sarcasm and all. He may sometimes take pleasure in watching his cousin squirm, but he wasn't a sadist. "As I was saying, let's 'assume' that your idea is spot-on accurate... we're _still_ left with the question of _who_, which definitely poses a problem."

Aidou's lips parted once again, and he choked out a single undignified, garbled syllable before cutting himself off. They form into a slight, bitter smirk, instead, and rest there for a moment as the blonde slowly raises his hand into the air above his curls.

It takes Kain a second to realizes what Aidou's doing, but when he does... "Go. On." It comes out as a spit.

"The 'who' is not the problem," Aidou claims, "It's the 'why'."

"Not necessarily," Kain volleys back. "The 'who' is what's causing the 'why' to begin with."

Honestly, the Takuma thinks the real problem is the two's inability to communicate properly. Either that, or the fact that they keep managing to go from part A to part B to part C and then back to part A. _Three steps forward, one step back_... or something like that.

Shiki speaks for the first time - picture of innocence as it's from behind his pocky - and it's an odd-mixture of a carefree and kind of worried noise that makes his friends immediately quiet. "Why don't we just ask Kaname who it is, and then see where we'll go from there?"

And wouldn't that be an idea!

Ruka emitted an unladylike snort - but she's far too determined to say what she wants to say to care enough to muffle it even slightly with her hand. "And you think he'll just flat out tell us? If Aidou's right - " this earns a growl from the blonde who's pretty convinced by now that he is, in fact, _right_ " - then there's _no _way Kaname's going to even begin to admit to such an action. It's reputation-staining, and not only that - it's a _crime_."

Shiki simply shakes his head. "If things continue they way they've been going..." he trails off, knowing that he need not say the rest. Because they knew - they understood. "What other choice does he have?"

* * *

><p>"<em>Fuck, <em>really?" Yagari asks, face painted with disgust.

"I'm only saying this because I know you have a tendency to overreact about these kinds of things: so please remember, I said I wasn't one hundred percent positive. I have little to no evidence, and I certainly am not ready to take this matter to anyone, which includes the Hunter's Association, so for the luvagod, keep it quiet. And I would be less than pleased if I discovered that you oh, let's say, assualted - and only because I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and am assuming you wouldn't do anything too rash like murder. So yes, assualted a student on my campus and accused them of doing something they may have or may not have done." Kaien warns, sternly.

"Then what the fuck am I suppose to do?" his friend questions loudly.

"Wait."

An annoyed huff, and the hunter simmers down, spitting out a chipped, "Fine," before jumping up from Kaien's office chair, and hurrying out the door, grumbling curses under his breath. He turns before leaving, "But don't think I'm not going to do everything in my power to find out the fucking truth." And the door is opened and slammed closed.

Kaien lets out a much-needed exhale and twists his head to the side, popping the weary and knotted muscles.

* * *

><p>"I want to be your sponsor."<p>

Zero looks up, away from the swirling pattern of the wooden desk, away from his tightly clasped hands that lay there, thumbs alternating, tracing invisible circles in the air - a task that he realizes is much more difficult than given credit for. He thinks the household phrase about twiddling thumbs should have its connotation changed to one far less negative - it takes talent to master such an action, and Zero thinks that one who sits around and has the patience to practice it deserves to be complimented, rather than critiqued. Or maybe he's just looking too far into it.

His sentimentality seems to have grown over the past few days, and frankly, he finds that he's building a strong dislike towards himself.

"Excuse me," the girl impatiently ticks - the same girl who had been relentlessly screamed at earlier - obviously less than thrilled at the idea of being so blatantly ignored. "I said I wanted to be your sponsor."

Zero blinks boredly, and untangles his hands, throwing them behind his neck. When the girl just stands there, regarding him with fiery blue eyes, he clicks his tongue absentmindedly and responds, "My what?"

"Your sponsor," she growls, "Remember? It's that thing Hisao-san just spent twenty minutes talking about."

"'Hisao-san'?" Zero inquires, squinting. "Who's that?"

She gapes, wide-eyed like a suffocating fish - somthing of which he's sure, with only knowing her for a few pleasant seconds, she would not happily accept upon being told - and then giggles.

It's soft and sweet and innocent and good.

"You are _so_ lucky to have me, then! Otherwise, you'd be completely clueless!" She laughs again, clutching at her stomach. Her eyes are twinkling and her blonde curls are bouncing and even though she looks nothing like her, Zero can't help but be reminded of her. Of Yuuki.

He guesses that's probably why he nods his head when she asks him for the second to time to be his sponsor, and for him to be hers.

And this girl - this girl he hardly knows - settles into the empty desk beside his, and grabs for his hand, and it's so big compared to hers that she has to hold it with both of her tiny palms. "Okay," she smiles like they're old friends, and Zero supposes that's why little kids are able to make friends so quickly - because really, they're not even old enough to have old friends. New friends were old friends. "Well, you missed a lot when you were daydreaming in lalaland, so let me catch you up. Oh, by the way, my name's Akiko!" She winks like she's sharing some private secret with him. "And it's _very very_ nice to meet you, Zero-kun!"

He doesn't even bother asking her how she knows his name, because frankly, nothing this Akiko girl has done so far has made any sense.

And something in him says that it has little to do with the fact that he's just met her - that that's just her personality.

And oh, how exciting that prospect was...


	8. Chapter 7

**RE-EDITED to be more visually appealing!**

**Minor pairings: ShikixTakuma**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything...sadface...**

* * *

><p><em>Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.<em>

* * *

><p>Chapter 7: Day One pt. 2<p>

Kaname hadn't gotten all that much sleep after the incident with Takuma, especially when he could hear them, all of them, talking about it - about him - downstairs.

He'd known this was going to happen - it was inevitable. Every time they committed that deadly sin - even before Zero's death - he knew he was just a step closer. It was unavoidable - a boulder in the middle of the road, so heavy, it might as well have been cemented to the ground. He'd known this was going to happen.

"Kaname-sama?"

But that didn't in the least make him prepared.

* * *

><p>Zero had learned three things during his conversation with Akiko. Of course, he used the term 'conversation' loosely because in reality, a conversation required at least two paricipants, correct? ... Which leads him to his first discovery:<p>

Akiko positively loved the sound of her voice. And, in some ways, this worked well for Zero. He wasn't really an avid conversationalist, and listening wasn't really a talent of his either, so only having to nod his head every twenty sentences or so wasn't that bad. However, while Akiko was quite fond of her vocal chords, Zero was not. Don't get him wrong, her voice was very palatable. It had a melodic delicacy to it - like a tweeting songbird. Granted, a very _high-pitched _tweeting songbird. Zero assumed this was a key ingredient in her appearance of sweet innocence - that, along with her cascading, blonde pin-curls, twinkling sky-blue irises, and petite stature (he swears the girl doesn't look a pound over ninety) - but after hearing it for an entire hour, without a single break?

... Well, let's just say that Zero was now silently praying for Blondie to once again take the stand... On the otherhand, in small doses, Zero thinks he could learn to find the child amusing - she actually is quite witty when she manages to restrain her inclination towards misusing the word 'like' and injecting it into a single sentence as many ways as she possibly can - which is probably one of the most frivolant train of thoughts he's had in a while.

The second thing he learned was the name of the honey-blonde speaker, Hisao - the man Akiko had been referring to earlier. Apparently, he had specifically requested that the class address him as 'Hisao-san', like Akiko had, or 'Hisao-kun' (despite Zero's lack of even vague recollection on that matter) and he has to chuckle when hearing the second option because Zero can swear on his soul - regardless of how questionable he believes its existance may be - that he will never, under any circumstances, call that man_ Hisao-kun_. He severly disbelieves he'll even be able to muster up the 'san'.

Lastly, he is told what exactly a sponsor is, and what it qualifies.

"_A sponsor_," he recalls Akiko saying, _"Is the person you go to when you're having doubts about the program. Hisao-san said that if at any time, you feel that tempted, or discouraged, or weak, or anything else that might 'hinder your progress' - though I'm not really all that sure on what that last part means - you talk to your sponsor. Basically, we're a team!_" she had concluded with a sublime smile. "_We're going to help each other every step of the way."_

"_So then, why didn't you pick your mother, instead?" _It was one of the only times he had said something in response to her musings, let alone, interrupted. And to be honest, he's really not all that curious - it's more of him secretly hoping that maybe she just forgot, and will instead want to partner with her family. And upon her future request, Zero will do his best to not take it to heart.

But, Akiko had done none of this. Simply scrunched her nose in distaste like he had just asked her to lick the bottom of his foot or something fucking ridiculous like that, and she had waved her hand flippantly, shooing away Zero's question. _"Because I wanted _you_,"_ she responds, with full confidence that this is the absolute best answer she could ever give him.

It's not the 'best' - far from it, actually - but it's still a refreshingly honest statement, and he has to give the girl props for her in-your-face attitude.

Plus, horribly strange context aside, it's the first time someone's ever said they wanted him.

* * *

><p>The pureblood rises, lifting his head towards the doorway, and sure enough, they're all there, crowding awkwardly in the small space the entry provides. <em>Strength in numbers<em>, Kaname muses. His studies the group, taking in their guarded stances - specifically Shiki who hovers just barely in front of Takuma, to the point where half of the blonde noble was shrouded from Kaname's view, and yet still keeping the other vampires from noticing - and he motions them into the room. Their steps are carefully measured and precise, like approaching a lion's den. When they are all settled albeit tensely into the room, Kaname draws his sheets back, and slides his legs off the side of the bed, his body soon following in a whispy-like and dignified manner, not even a hair moving from its rightful place as he does so.

He walks around the side of the bed, towards the front, all the while trailing his hand across the smooth satin cloth, an insurance that he won't come any closer than they're comfortable with, earning a few purposefully muffled, released sighs of relief. His fingers catch on a ripple almost at the front-center of the mattress, and he splays his stretched hand over it, swiping out the wrinkles with lazy pats, before turning back to face the weary group and placing both hands on the bed, onto either side of himself for a steady support.

"So," he begins idly, flicking his tongue out to wet his reddened lips - an action that forces a shiver up Takuma's spine, and for Shiki to glance back at his friend with troubled eyes - "I assume you're all here in regards to my," he pauses, searching the ceiling for a word that it doesn't even know the meaning of, "_mistake_."

The sound of clenching fists and a snorted intake.

"Shiki..." Takuma whispers, placing a timid and shaking hand on the red-head's vibrating shoulder. "Stop. It's okay - _I'm okay_." The green-eyed noble begins to worry that maybe Shiki's anxiousness to pay a visit to Kaname actually had little to do with what he had earlier claimed. Now, with a tempestuous snarl forming over Shiki's typically blank pokerface, Takuma, as well as the others - including Kaname, who spectates with acute and perturbed interest - see Shiki's true motivation.

Kaname's head tilts to the side slightly, and he regards the drama played out before him with a furrowed brow. "Is it not?" he questions, though it's obvious that it's not really a question from the way he stares directly into Shiki's electric irises, the blue sparking and crackling under the pureblood's heavy and dark gaze. It's a challenge.

But before either can react, Takuma steps forward, switching roles with his dear friend immediately, so that now Shiki is the one guarded by a single arm and shoulder. "No," he calmly states, "That's why. That's the _only _reason why," and this second part is said much more softly, intended for only one listener.

Kaname's answering smile is grim, barely reaching a centimeter above its original neutral placement, let alone to his eyes. "Good," he whispers, in a completely contradictory tone. "And I assume you also have already predicted my... predicament..."

Takuma nods, not trusting his voice, especially with his throat suddenly cotton dry and cracking.

"Very well, then." And Kaname is relaxing, leaning back into the bed in a slanted stance and is folding his arms on top of his chest. "You may leave."

An outraged cry, and then Shiki is shoving past Takuma's arm, bumping his side hastily, before anyone can really register what has happened, and he's moving in long strides, almost a flash if you were to blink at that exact moment, until he's face to face with the pureblood, and their chests are but an arm's length away. "No," he exclaims abruptly. "No, we'll _stay_, thank you. If it isn't too much to ask," he sneers, "I think we'd all like to hear more about this _predicament_. After all, I'm sure _neither _of us would want for there to be another... _mistake._"

Kaname wine-colored orbs flash a brilliant, vivid red. "Of course not," he relents, though the way his features visibly cloud over does little to support the credibility of his admission. "I'd be most happy to oblige, _Senri-kun_."

Shiki sniffs, unbelieving, and he is once again tugged back - _way, way back_ - until his shoulder blades are hitting the wall with a loud smack. The owner of the hand spread across his chest looks back, green eyes squinting. "_Stay_."

Kain bites back a grimace because frankly, this was not going in the direction he had intended it to. And to think he was worried earlier about how Aidou would behave! He wonders if Kaname is even going to tell them anything now...

But surprisingly enough, the pureblood is already opening his mouth. "A blood bond is a sacred custom that symbolizes the bonding of two beings for the rest of eternity - forever linked by fidelity and codependency. It's formed through bite, required by both parties in order for it to reach a completed state. It's the most important vampire custom - even above marriage," he announces this mainly Yuuki, who isn't exactly in touch with her vampire heritage. "I have tarnished said tradition and have disgraced my... ancestors. I have committed one of the worst sins known to vampire kind, second to feeding from a pureblood, which," Kaname chuckles darkly, "I'm afraid I've also helped play the role of accomplice in. I've violated my oath as a respected member of society, and I've violated your trust," he ticks off calmly, like reciting a grocery list.

Then the scene changes: his liquid eyes narrow and deepen, his mouth drooping into a bitter half-smile. "But don't worry. No crime goes unpunished, " he laughs again, and it's a haunting sound that sends shivers down their spines. "While it is true that I allowed myself to be bitten by a vampire - one who lacks even a speck of nobility to help me justify my actions - I fear I failed to reciprocrate - I never completed the bond - and now, he is gone, and now, I can't," he inhales shakily, letting his eyes drift closed as he collects himself for his last thought. It takes him a moment, but the others don't dare pester, and then he is exposing his muddy red orbs, and continuing, "Kiryuu Zero is dead," another pause. An inhale. An exhale, before, "As am I."

A pin dropping would be the equivalent of roaring thunder in the room when he has finished speaking. They're all looking at him the same way - even Shiki, who had despised him less than a minute ago. Their eyes are all half-lidded. Their mouths are all twisted. Their shoulders are all sagging. It's disgusting.

It's pity.

"Leave," he commands - begs, "Now."

And they do, though Kaname can't be sure if it's because their instincts make them unable to disobey a pureblood's order, or because they just really want to.

Because to be honest, Kaname would love for nothing more than to be able to walk away from himself, too.

* * *

><p>They returned to the dorm's lobby shortly after their visit with Kaname, before they would be forced to go their seperate ways - to their respected rooms - because as much as they seem to forget it, they were still at school. They still all had classes, and other petty obligations like homework. Yuuki's fairly certain they have a major exam tonight, as a matter of fact, but she can't bring herself to even bother caring.<p>

She's far too engrossed in the fact that, oh yeah, her brother had just so happened to be in an extremely confusing and hardly believable blood-dependency relationship with her former best friend who died three days ago - an incomplete blood bond...

She isn't so sure why it pained her so much to hear Kaname say it - to have her fears confirmed. She supposes that it's because, secretly, she had hoped it to be proven false. That Kaname would laugh at the ridiculousness of the idea, or that he'd be offended.

And somehow, she just knows that it's her fault. Sure, she hadn't forced Zero's fangs into his neck. But how many times had she begged Kaname to be nicer to the Level D? She'd practically threatened him, dangling her love in front of his face on a single thread. So, of course Kaname would find a way to not only complete her request, but to completely go above and beyond.

"So what does this mean?" she asks, ears stinging with the blaring silence. "Will he really... y'know - will he die?" Her voice breaks at the last word, and tears sting the corners of her eyes.

Takuma moves to respond, mouth opening slightly, but she cuts him off with a raised hand because she's suddenly so angry with him - so furious with everyone. Paranoia tells her that they must've already known. That they were just trying to find the right way to tell her. That they had known for months, and had all already said their goodbyes while she dilly-dallied around and fretted over Zero before and after his death. That she had been wasting all her time, and now? Now, it was too late. And it was all their fault.

"Don't," she says, glaring at all of them in a mixture of self-pity and anger. "Don't spare my feelings. Don't lie to make me feel better. I'm not a child, and I'm most certainly not a _princess_. I'm a vampire, just like the rest of you, and he's my brother, and I _deserve _to know the truth! Not the same watered-down version I hear _every time_ something's even remotely wrong," she cries. "I don't want to be protection. _I want respect_."

The group is stunned into another silence, this one even more uneasy than the first. Never before had they seen the pureblood girl so domineering, leering with vicious spite. As a matter of fact, they often had to remind themselves that she was, in fact, a pureblood.

"Yes," Ruka is the first to whisper, her eyes flaring, and Yuuki's head is whipping around to face her. "In order for him to survive, he would need to either complete the bond, or consume Kiryuu-kun's blood daily, and obviously neither is a possibility. So yes, you spoiled brat, Kaname-sama is probably going to die. And if we waste our precious time on these petty, selfish tantrums instead of trying to find a solution, then he most certainly will die. If you want respect, you're going to have to earn it, sweatheart, and shutting your whiny mouth for five goddamn seconds would be a wonderful way to start."

And Yuuki wants to rip her hair out - her own, not Ruka's, altough now that thought is quite tempting... because really? Yuuki would always sit back quietly when Ruka assualted her with back-handed compliments and bitter, sardonic quips, but she had officially crossed the line one too many times.

"Selfish?" Yuuki shoots back, not missing a beat, "Well, that's just rich coming from you. If you could just put aside your pathetic crush on Onii-sama, and stop hating me and everyone else around you just because he doesn't return it, then maybe you could actually offer up something useful instead of your nasty, snide comments that only serve the purpose of making you feeling better about yourself!"

The room is muted besides their raging huffs. The girls are nose to nose now, fists clenched, teeth seething, and venom practically dripping out their eyesockets.

Ruka spits, "Or maybe, just maybe, you could try and act like a fucking adult, instead of moping around after any little bad thing happens in your life!"

"That's _not_ - "

"It is _so _fucking true, and you _know _it. Poor little Yuuki-hime," she cooes, leering, "Always getting picked on - always the victim. Well guess what? The only reason you're the victim is because you _make_ yourself one! God, if you would just grow up and stop trying to fucking blame yourself for everything - and then, if that shoe doesn't fit, throwing it on someone else entirely - then maybe you'd realize that things just happen. _Sometimes, people just die - "_

The whooshing of air, the smacking sound of flesh on flesh, and Ruka is rearing back, hand clutching her now bitingly red and aching cheek, her eyes wide and shining with unshed tears.

Yuuki's, on the other hand, are very much _shed_, and she is heaving, chest moving with each puff. She raises her hand to her face, the palm tingling with a red that matches Ruka's cheek. She simply stares at it for a moment in astonishment, and then looks up, catching Ruka's surprised gaze.

A quiet whisper of, "I'm sorry."

But it wasn't Yuuki's. It's Ruka's.

It's the first time the Night class members think they've ever heard her apologize, and they have a clairvoyance that it'll be the last.

* * *

><p>"Ahm'arry."<p>

Takuma peeks into the top corner of his full-length mirror, squinting at the boy lying lazily on his bed, face pressed firmly into the sheets so that his head is simply a mass of dark-red spikes. "What?" he asks, buttoning the last button of his dress shirt and reaching out to his desk towards his red tie.

Shiki lifts his head, grinning sheepishly with his chin resting atop the mattress, and repeats, "I'm sorry."

The blonde noble laughs incredulously, turning away from the mirror to face his friend. "_You're _sorry? _Why?_"

"I overreacted. You know. In there. With Kaname."

"Oh," Takuma says, blinking. He waves his hand and rolls his eyes. "It's no big deal," he assures Shiki. "You were just being a good friend."

Shiki rolls over, dropping his head back onto the bed and staring up at the ceiling with an exasperated sigh. "But you see, _I wasn't_. Not at all."

"Sure you were," Takuma assures him, smiling at Shiki's modesty. "Now, granted, you weren't exactly acting _appropriately_. For future reference, angering a pureblood is typically not the best first approach when it comes to any type of situation really," he teases.

Shiki groans and covers his eyes with his palms, rubbing furiously. "_I wasn't _being a good friend," he pushes. "_Friends _don't act the way I did."

With a concerned frown, Takuma approaches the steaming vampire and leans over him, bewildered. "Shiki, seriously, don't stress it. It's over with - done."

"But it's _not_," Shiki calmly argues, setting his hands back down to his sides and opening his blue-gray eyes, staring straight up into Takuma's meadow-green ones, begging him to understand. He reaches up, snatching Takuma's arm, which forces the noble to have to even more awkwardly hover over him, his knees settling on the edge of the bed for better balance (which, incidently, is between said vampires sprawled-out legs.) The maroon-haired boy ghosts the pads of his fingers over the nearly invisible scar - it's almost fully healed, barely a flesh wound to begin with. The tickling sensation invokes a frame shaking shiver in the blonde, though this one is far more pleasant than any of the others he'd experienced that day.

Actually, come to think of it, he finds that it's very pleasant.

He pulls away - only a slow second away from being a yank - and clutches his tingling arm safely into his chest, ignoring the poorly hidden disappointment that flashes across Shiki's usually serene features.

"You should go get dressed," Takuma laughs nervously, stumbling backwards, until he is as far away from the other boy as possible without appearing rude. "I'm fairly certain wearing your pajamas to class, while amusing, would be against uniform rules."

Shiki is silent for a second, studying the flushed male's face, taking in his flaring nostrils, trembling lips, and skittishly flitting eyes. With a defeated huff, he nods, and sits up, stretching his arms and shrugging his shoulders. He slips off the bed with liquid ease - eyes fixated straight in front of himself and basically anywhere that wasn't Takuma - and fluently moves his way towards the door, hand twisting and pulling the golden knob when he reaches it. He doesn't even say goodbye.

"I'll see you before class!" Takuma exclaims, almost desperately, because now he's worried that he's upset the other vampire in some way.

Shiki stops, door half-way opened, and jubilantly turns with a complacently smug grin etched on his pink lips. "Later," and then he's stepping into the hallway and shutting the door behind himself with a quiet click.

Takuma's not entirely sure why, but he feels he should be embarrassed.

* * *

><p>It was needless to say that no member of the Night class was surprised when Kaname didn't show up to lessons that evening.<p>

Another given: the classroom was filled with a _bit_ more tension than usual.


	9. Chapter 8

**RE-EDITED to be more visually pleasing!**

**There's one thing I need to address, though, and that's this:**

**From this point on, and for a few chapters, this story will be doing some time jumps (nothing major, just like a few days or sometimes even a week). I will, however, be posting the number of days it's been since the day Zero first started the treatment as the title so things make more sense. For example, this chapter is titled "Day Five". **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing...sadface...**

* * *

><p><em>Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.<em>

* * *

><p>Chapter 8: Day Five<p>

He stands in the doorway, slouched lazily against the frame, unmoving and muted, and gazes languidly around the dim room, the ostentatious combination of florid colors, lush fabrics draped to absolute perfection, and plump, plush furniture is lost within the blanketing murkiness of its owner's mood. The rich hues are replaced with a seeping and staining blackness that drips down the walls and paints the floor.

His eyes fall upon the bed, right in the very center of the bedroom and taking up at least half of it. There's a dark figure resting on the left side, limbs flailed.

It's dead silent. Not even a intake of breath can be heard. No stuttering heartbeat, either.

_Tch_, he thinks. A dead give away - no one is that quiet, not even in death. Especially not in death.

"Five absences in a row, Kaname-sama? Frankly, I'm disconcerted. You've never been one to depreciate your studies," he ribs, but without malice. His face is a blank slate, and his words lack inflection - merely talking for the purpose of having something to say.

The figure turns from its side, and towards the opened door, eyes narrowing venomously. "Get. Out."

The standing male's features shift then, forming into an estranged, toothy grin. "Now, hold on," his hands raise innocently, "I mean no harm. As a matter of fact, I'm here to do you a favor."

Kaname growls, lip pulling up to reveal a snarl. "Senri-kun," he spits out from between his teeth. "Leave. Now."

But he doesn't. He can't. "Jesus," Shiki quietly exclaims. "You're cranky when you're hungry." He steps away from the opening now, and much to Kaname's horror, shuts the wooden door behind himself. He continues onward until he's but a few feet away from the bottom of Kaname's bed.

The pureblood snaps up, pushing himself as far into the wraught iron headboard as possible, so bad that his right shoulder blade is caught between two of the metal poles and is grating against the wall behind them. His shaking hand is brought up to his throat, and he's gripping at it, fingernails sinking and tearing into the flesh. "Don't," he pleads, "Don't come any closer."

The pungent scent of Kaname's blood fills the air - a savory sweet musk that can only be accurately described as pureblood. Shiki briefly allows himself the luxury to drift his eyelids together and inhale deeply, appreciating the deliciously rare aroma for all it was worth. When his eyes open, they're a ravenous and gleaming red and he has to blink the selfish color away, because this wasn't about him. It wasn't even about Kaname, as much as he liked the regal vampire - brooding personality and all.

No, this was about the safety of all his friends, and most importantly, a certain blonde, green-eyed noble. So, of course, he had no other options.

"It'll happen again," Kaname warns, still sqeezing and scraping away at the pliable, ivory skin of his neck. "I'm too weak to control it."

Shiki shakes his head and advances more in the pureblood's direction, around the bottom of the bed and to the side, until his standing form is hovering over the crumpled up and shaking vampire. Never had he seen Kaname look so less like a pureblood than right now.

And that was quite an alarming thought.

"No," Shiki assures him, "It won't." Kaname looks up at that with desperately hopeful and credulous eyes, glimmering like an innocent child's. "We're both going to make sure it doesn't."

"But how?" Kaname chokes, and Shiki knows it's from his throat's burning thirst.

"Drink."

Before Kaname can protest, before he can even move an inch or even register what's happening, Shiki is biting his own arm and shoving it harshly into Kaname's parched and cracked lips. After that, he finds himself all too aware of what is happening. He can taste it - Shiki's bittersweet and definitely quenching blood. Can see it, dribbling sloppily down the vampire's arm and catching in the crease of his elbow. Can feel the monster called desire in his mind and stomach sighing in relief. And he does drink. He does for a long time.

Shiki had put on a brave face, but frankly, this terrified him. He didn't have any siblings and therefore, never had the dutiful task of feeding any brother or sister like some of the other vampires had. He had absolutely no experience when it came to feeding or being fed from. The idea of allowing another person to take his blood - a very unstable person, for that matter - simply didn't sit well in his stomach. He wonders if this is how Kaname felt when he was with Zero... and Zero had used teeth. Shiki surpresses a shiver.

"Just, please, " he whispers, trembling slightly, and biting his lip in between words to restrain the pathetic, frightened whimper that wants to leave his mouth so badly. "Not too much, and don't - don't you dare bite."

* * *

><p>The first couple days hadn't been too bad. Sure, Zero wasn't particularly fond of getting up around seven every morning - because Kyo was right: there was no way he could sleep through those fucking bright lights - and he most certainly wasn't fond of community showers, cafeterias, and school. In summary, Zero disliked people. He had thought the Academy was bad - what, with the deafening screams of fangirls - but this place, this 'institute'? ... Well, let's just say it made him homesick, which took a lot.<p>

If he was being honest with himself, he'd admit that his adversion to the open bathroom was really just a result of his spoiled days of getting to use the Chairman's secluded private bathroom, and once he'd decide to stop being so damn angsty over something so petty, he'd get over his modesty in a flash.

Still, when Kyo had told him early that morning that the large bathroom was open to all areas of the ward, Zero just about had a conniption. It wasn't like he was shy or self-conscious about his body. It was just, like he'd previously mentioned - he didn't like people. Eating with people? He could tolerate. Attending ten hour classes with people? Sure he wanted to slap about every one of them, but still, he could deal. Now, showering with them? That required far too much intimacy than Zero was comfortable with.

Of course, there were seperate rooms for men and women, so nothing really went on - although, Zero had an inkling that that wouldn't be a problem for some people - but he still wasn't keen on the idea of being naked around other men. Especially when some of them were kind of leery - Zero's not even sure if that was even accurate way to describe it, but yes, leery. So, it was fairly clear that as soon as he had entered the steamy bathroom, breathing a sigh of relief that there were at least seperate shower stalls, he would be a little reluctant to look anyone in the eye lest they get the wrong idea, and definitely reluctant to look anywhere below that. That being said, he'd slipped his shirt off with ease, but he wouldn't have dared to removed his pants even if they had suddenly caught on fire.

And, in refusing to unglue his eyes from the ceiling, still debating on whether a shower was really all that worth it anyway, he had unintentionally stumbled into the also clothed - thankfully - body of a boy slightly shorter than himself. Zero'd peered down after this assurance and immediately recognized the boy as the one from the day before - the one who'd cried. This kid was obviously way younger than Zero - with a smaller stature and a face slightly rounded with baby fat.

The funny thing was, the boy had just looked up at him like a deer caught in headlights - all wide eyes and a nose an inch away from Zero's bare chest.

Oh, and of course, the fucking kid was blushing.

And if Zero didn't take his own fucking pants off right then, he realized that was what he was going to look like.

So yeah, his fear of public showers was conquered quite easily, and his hatred towards any other place involving interaction with another being was diminishing.

The thing that had yet to go away, on the other hand, was the hunger.

He was pretty sure that bullshit was getting worse.

* * *

><p>"Can we sit with you?" Akiko asks during dinner, with her mother hovering overbearingly closely at her side.<p>

"Sure," Zero says through a mouthful of food, earning a grimace of disgust from Akiko's mother, but she doesn't say anything, probably too distracted by her daughter's response to a mere word from the silver-haired boy: a genuinely happy smile that he suspects from her surprised reaction is quite rare.

Akiko sits directly across from him at the otherwise empty table, yanking her mother anxiously into the seat next to her, and slams down a plastic tray stacked with plates and plates of food. (Lucky for the small girl's big appetite, the servers here were more than willing to give them as much human food as they wanted.) Her mother is more hesitant with her actions, setting her tray down so softly and slowly that it doesn't even whisper as it hits the table.

"Zero-kun," Akiko begins, wasting no time, between bites of food, "This is my mother, Abe Misa."

Zero stiffly extends his hand over the table at the elder woman, but it simply met with icy blue eyes and a wary expression. He pulls his hand back and lets it settle awkwardly on the tabletop. He tries again, with a less abrupt approach, "Kiryuu Zero."

"Oh, believe me," Misa replies with a breathy, nervous laugh, "I know."

Zero's brow furrows in confusion at that because she wasn't the only one. Apparently, everyone knew who he was. And he's not just referring to his name, but his entire identity - his life. And none of them seemed too pleased by it. Frankly, that idea alone scared him shitless.

Frowning, he stares down at his full plate - only nibbled and picked at, because this shit had absolutely no resemblance to the kind of nourishment his stomach really craved. All it really did was make him feel bloated like his belly was full of water - all it did was make him remember what he can't have. He slides the disgusting plate away.

"Say, Zero-kun," Akiko chirps with a nonchalant and genuinely out-of-the-blue curious expression, dragging him away from his brooding. "Who changed you?"

Zero blinks. "What?"

"Y'know, into a vampire. Who changed you? I was just wondering 'cause I was talking to Nori-chan over there and she said - "

"Akiko!" Misa admonishes, swatting gingerly at the back of her daughter's head, but the damage had already been done - and not even a minute in...

Who changed you?

It was asked with such innocence, and he knows it's unfair for him to be angered by it. After all, she's just a kid. Blissfully ignorant. She doesn't realize. She doesn't know. But he just can't fucking help it: His body goes rigid - shoulders stiffening, hands clenching until his knuckles are white, jaw setting, and teeth grating, And he wonders fuck, when has that ever been appropriate dinner conversation, and since when are things like that allowed to be so unabashedly asked? Fucking kid, or not. It was wrong. Just. Fucking. Wrong. With this in mind, he's not sure why he answers it - maybe out of spite, or maybe because he wants to frighten the girl off, or maybe because he just needs to fucking get it off his chest - but it doesn't matter. All that matters is he does.

"That fucking pureblood bitch - "

"Akiko," Misa interjects, eyes wide with anxiety. "Go to bed. Now."

"But - "

"Now."

The small, blonde girl stomps off in a huff, and the two watch her leave.

Misa is the first to speak after that, and it's with fire and conviction. "I don't care what the fuck she asks you, if you ever speak to my daughter like that again..." she trails off, glaring.

Zero huffs sheepishly. "I kn - "

"Also," she spits, "I don't care is she gets on her knees and begs, you are never telling her that story, understood?"

They lock eyes, and Zero momentarily debates arguing because who the fuck was this lady, and what made her think she could tell him what to do? But at the same time, he knows she's right. Telling that to a child as young as Akiko was entirely innappropriate. He knows because experiencing it as a child as young as Akiko really fucks you up - and to the point where you really were just about to destroy some kid's innocence at the expense of your anger. And wow, what a dick move that would have been! ... He feels his cheeks warm, tinging red with shame. "Fine."

"Good," she sighs in relief, a saddened smile painting her features. "I know what happened to you, Kiryuu-kun, and I truly am sorry," she whispers. "But I don't need you corrupting her mind with your irrational hatred towards purebloods. God-knows, you've already affected her enough. She's getting quite a mouth..." Misa says more from there, but Zero's still caught up on that one statement.

He stares at her incredulously. "Irrational hatred towards purebloods? The fuck?"

She stops blabbering about whatever it was she was going on about and narrows her eyebrows. "Yes, irrational." - which earns a deep scowl from the hunter that her eyes soften at - "Look, Kiryuu-kun," she breathes, "I - I..." she trails off, deep in thought, expression wavering from determined to hesitant. She must decide to commit to whatever it was that she was thinking about because her face tenses and her lips pinch together into an uncomfortable frown, and then she is opening them and inhaling deeply before -

"My husband worked most days and nights," she begins, distantly, and Zero honestly has no idea what's going on, "Even on the weekends, we hardly ever got to see him. It was not only ruining our marriage, but his relationship with Akiko, too. I think the moment it really became a problem was when she was sitting at the kitchen table and doing her homework - she were supposed to draw a picture of her family and then write adjectives that described it - and she'd asked me, 'Okaa-san, what does Otou-san look like?'" She stares deeply into Zero's eyes and he twitches uncomfortably under her gaze. "I'm not blaming him, though. I could never. When I had gotten pregnant with Akiko, we were both barely out of high school and had absolutely no way to support ourselves."

She pauses, breaking eye contact and instead, staring up towards the ceiling. "He stepped up in more ways than my mother and father ever thought he could," she muses, and emits a laugh that doesn't even begin to reach her eyes. "He found a steady job that payed the bills and put food on the table and, when Akiko was older, would send her through a good school. He did so much for us - he sacrificed so much. No, there's no way I could ever complain." Her voice breaks at the last word, and Zero shifts awkwardly around because it's so obvious where this story is going, and why the fuck would she be telling him this? Too make him feel bad?

Something tells him that it stretches way beyond that.

"Anyway," she continues, "he'd had a few days off because of some work holiday - I can hardly remember which - and I was just so excited that I wanted to make a celebration out of it, so I planned a family camping trip. None of us liked camping, but it seemed like something a normal functional family would do." A fond smile. "He wasn't all that thrilled at first, but Akiko was so happy and giggly at the idea so he ended up agreeing anyway. I guess her spirit was contagious." - and Zero definitely has to mentally nod his head in agreement at that - "So, I drove around for a while a few days before the trip to find a good camping site, and sure enough, about two hours away from our house - we lived out in the country - there was this peaceful, secluded little area that was just perfect."

Her features shift after that - her eyes darken to a deep midnight-blue, almost swallowing her pupils whole, and her hand, that had been resting limply on the table, knots into a claw, scraping its pointed fingernails savagely into the polished, painted wood.

"It turns out I was a horrible planner. It was storming like crazy - hardly the appropriate weather for a camping trip - and we had to turn around a mile into the car ride. My - my husband wasn't even mad. He just saying all these ridiculously sweet things about it being an omen and that, had we gone, there would have been way too many bugs or not enough fish." Her lips quiver slightly at this, and her eyes glaze over to a milky white. "When I had driven up before, the road had been so empty - it had seemed unbusy to me... but..."

She stops and bites her bottom lip, forehead creasing. She shakes her head and brings her palm up to cover her mouth, breathing in shaky inhales. "Well - " she halts again, voice uneven. She clears her throat. "Well," - and this one carries much more strength than the previous - "it was raining so hard, and it was impossible to see three feet ahead of you. I didn't notice the headlights until it was too late."

Zero doesn't want to hear anymore.

But the sadistic, masochistic woman continues. "I guess the other car had hydroplaned or something - I never really found out... but - but my husband... he died on impact." Silence, and then: "His side recieved a majority of the hit, but it was pretty much a head-on collision so Akiko and I weren't much better. I called out to her, but she hadn't said anything, and for the longest time, I'd thought she was dead, too. That was the worst hour of my entire existence. I kept praying that I would go, but I just wouldn't - I just kept bleeding and bleeding. I bled more than I thought a person ever could..." She shivers, the tiny peach-fuzz hairs on her arm raising.

"But then," she says, barely above a whisper, and Zero suddenly remembers that oh yeah, there were other people around them. "But then, Den-san found us. He said he lived half an hour away and had heard the crash - though, at the time, I had no idea how he possibly could of from that far away. But I didn't care enough to voice it. I only cared about one thing - I just kept asking him if my Akiko was alive." Her eyes flash, and she finally looks down from the ceiling and at Zero, face more controlled and placid. "Even today, I remember exactly what he did: yanked the backseat car door off its hinges like a superhuman, pulled my daughter out of that goddamn metal deathtrap, settled her into his arms, took her pulse with two gentle fingers, and then said with an honest, disheartened expression, 'Not for long.'"

She sends him a deplorable grin. "I begged him to help her. I wasn't really sure if he could, but I did anyway - I was desperate, and what else did I have to lose?"

It's rhetorical, but Zero still finds himself shrugging his shoulders, entrapped in the vivid image she had painted before him.

"And then, he'd bit her and with such compassionate, chocolate-brown eyes that just so completely contrasted with the startling action. He helped me out of the car, and bit me, too. I hadn't even asked him to do that, but he did anyway. I was too shocked to be scared or angry - to dizzy with confusion and anguished by the loss of my husband - I lost consciousness."

Zero's teeth grit together and his face pulled back into a disgusted grimace. The way she said it - the biting part - she'd made it sound like the vampire was doing her a favor.

"Later, when I woke up completely rejuventated and feeling stronger than ever before, and my daughter was standing over me, the shining example of health..." she trails off, shaking her head, only this time, it's a happier kind of shake - one of amused disbelief. "Den-san thought I'd be upset with him for 'damning' us to this lifestyle, but how could I be? He'd saved our lives. I couldn't have been more not upset." She reaches out for his hand, and he's too surprised to pull his back. She grazes her warm fingertips over his knuckles, a passionate resolve blazing in her beryl irises.

"Do you hear me, Kiryuu-kun?" Misa asks, and Zero's not sure how to answer - because he was hearing her, but he wasn't the least bit convinced... "He saved us. And not only that, but he continued to provide us with a home, fed us, took care of us - "

"Just because one fucking pureblood did something useful with their wretched existence, it doesn't mean they're all sunshine and rainbows!" Zero interrupts, spitting the word 'pureblood' out like it burnt his tongue.

"That's exactly what I'm trying to convey to you, Kiryuu-kun," Akiko's mother replies calmly, unaffected by his malice. "I'm simply saying that you can't make an assessment based off one example."

"Three," Zero corrects, glaring.

"Look," Misa sighs, bringing her hand to her hair and running it through her bangs. "You're a hunter, correct?"

Zero's eyebrows raise. "How did you - "

"The Level D that hunts and betrays his own kind? You're kind of infamous around here. I suppose that's why Akiko wanted to be your sponsor so badly," she muses, "That girl is going through a helluva rebellious stage."

And there were the two main answers Zero was looking for:

Everyone knew him because they really did know him - they'd hated him. He was a household name to their - and his - kind. One that parents would use to scare their children into bed; one that kids would tell scary stories about, crowded in a big circle, flashlights in hand.

He was to Level D's what Level D's and E's were to him and Ichiru.

The other revealed answer: Akiko picked him because she was just like every other naive and stupid preteen girl, and he was the 'cool' (because Zero uses that term lightly) dangerous guy that everyone else was scared shitless of... which in some ways, definitely stroked his ego, but in others - well, mostly, he just felt disappointed.

"Regardless, what I'm trying to say is that your kind - hunters - those are the people who ripped us from our lives and trapped us in here."

She stands up after saying this, picking up both hers and Akiko's trays - always a mother - and concludes with a bitter smile, "If you're going to pass judgement with such a heavy gavel, you should at least think about doing it on both sides."

* * *

><p>When Kaname joins them for lessons that evening, the vampires are at loss for words.<p>

Even more so when he walks straight up to Takuma, eyes warily flicking to Shiki who, unnoticed by the others that are so enraptured by the sight of the pureblood no longer bedridden and just as regal and gorgeous as ever, nods his head sharply in encouragement. With a sort of - but well-hidden - grimace, the pureblood says, "I'm deeply sorry for my actions. I cannot even begin to use this as a viable excuse, but still I must inform you that I was most certainly not in my right mind. I hope you can accept my apology and grant me the forgiveness I hardly deserve."

Takuma blinks, but recovers quickly, mumbling a stuttered and rushed, "Sure - I mean, yeah - yeah, of course." He shakes his head almost comically, and, trying to regain at least some of his dignity, adds on a much more calm, "You are forgiven."

It doesn't work.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the not-flowiness (is that a word?). This chapter was kind of hard to write, especially the part with MisaAkiko's story and I'm sure the leading into it part felt pretty rushed... Aw well.**


	10. Chapter 9

**RE-EDITED to be more visually appealing!**

**Hey!**

**Thank you everyone for the reviews, story alerts, and such. XOXO**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything...sadface...**

* * *

><p><em>Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.<em>

* * *

><p>Chapter 9: Day 15<p>

_He's in a room, only, it's nothing like the one he had fallen asleep to. This one is disconsolate - dingy tiles covering the walls, each smeared with a grimy mixture of brown and red. The scent of staleness is heavy in the air, along with the puncturing fragrance of iron rust, and Zero finds that regardless of the depth of the breaths he takes, his lungs still clench and groan in discomfort from the lack of fresh oxygen. _

_Below his feet, illuminated by the dim, flickering lights overhead, is a trail of dark crimson, leading all the way to the very right corner of the dreary room, seemingly neverending because it does not fade, but simply merges into the pitch black painted there. _

_Then, there's a noise, soft like the tingling of a bell or the fluttering of a butterfly's wings and somewhere deep down inside himself, Zero just knows it's coming from the colorless corner. _

_His foot moves, a twitch nearly, and he's moving towards it. Towards the sinisterly light sound, and he has absolutely no idea why. He's shifting forwards, off-balanced and precariously planted on the tip of his toe, and swinging his other foot out in front to catch himself. He repeats the action with the opposite foot this time, and then another with the other, and then the other. And he's getting _closer and closer_ - _

Zero wakes, panting and shivering, dripping in his sweat. With a breathy sigh, he stares up into the dark ceiling, having absolutely no idea as to how far away seven o'clock is.

But for once, he can't wait for it to come.

* * *

><p>"Enough," Shiki forces, all but ripping the pureblood's sucking mouth off his arm, resisting the urge to cringe when he hears that disgusting pop as the bleeding, stinging bite - his own, thankfully - is exposed to the biting, cold air that always seems to fill Kaname's room. "You took too much," he snaps, petulant and disgruntled with the wave of exhaustion that always accompanies the sudden bloodloss.<p>

Kaname brings his palm to his mouth and wipes morosely at the red smears decorating his lips. Though this agreement proved to satisfy both sides' needs - no more attacks of hunger, and no more attacks on people - it did little to actually satisfy both sides. Shiki always left the act with a foul mood, and rightfully so, considering he's just had a small portion of his fucking life sucked out of him, and Kaname still had the ever-daunting day of his inevitable death when Shiki's blood just wouldn't be enough anymore approaching. He could already feel it happening. Shiki was right - with each time he drank, he drank more and more. It wasn't intentional - far from it actually. That was just how long it took him to stop.

Both knew this undeniable truth, and both were scared shitless by it.

Shiki rises from his seated position on Kaname's bed, and clutches his hand tightly over his still leaking wound, making his way towards the door in an angry huff.

"That won't be enough," Kaname calls after him quietly, running his fingers through his brunette strands, tugging lightly as they near the ends - trying to yank out the horrible guilt that lies right beneath those hairs. "They'll smell it."

Shiki stops, a couple steps away from the exit, and demurs, shifting back and forth on the balls of his feet, debating his options. Part of him - a large part - wanted to fling the door open and run into the hallway kicking and screaming at the top of his lungs. To end this thing once and for all - to save himself. Kaname would understand, right? After all, only one of them was destined for an advancing death. Why make it two?

"Fuck," Shiki hisses under his breath, and turns, stomping back to the pureblood's bed and plopping on the end with a weak growl.

Fucking friendship-loyalty bullshit that always seemed to warm his heart at the most inconvenient of times.

* * *

><p>"As I'm sure you all know, your role in vampire society is determined by your class which is ultimately decided by the purity of your vampire blood," Hisao begins, "The highest ranking class consists of the Purebloods, whose bloodlines have never mixed with humans. Next in line are the Nobles and Aristocrats - otherwise known as Level B's - who are forced to serve under the Elite Level A's <em>just because<em> their heritage contains a small amount of human blood. Tch," he reproves, head shaking, "Seems hardly fair, doesn't it?"

His gray eyes flicker coolly around the class room, studying each and every one of his students' responding expressions.

"Now," he continues, "Under the Level B's are the Level C's and Level D's. These classes include 'ex-humans' - vampires who weren't born as vampires, but instead were bitten and changed into one by a pureblood. However, unlike Level D vampires who are constantly threatened by falling victim to their bloodlust, allegedly, Level C's are in a more 'stabilized' condition because they have consumed the blood of the pureblood that originally bit them. But we - the Hunter's Association - have seen many cases where this is proven inaccurate. While it is true that drinking a pureblood's blood can help contain an ex-human's bloodlust, it is also true that if said ex-human continues to drink the blood, they'll grow a strong dependency on that Level A to sustain them. So, let's say that something were to happen to that pureblood, and the Level C or D is left alone... What would be the ultimate end result?"

A hand shoots up in the air.

Zero grimaces. Suckup.

"Yes?" Hisao bequests, grinning expectantly.

"They'd fall," the boy from the showers (Zero cannot recall his name) responds.

"Exactly," Hisao applauds, and of course the kid fucking blushes under his praise. "In reality, by providing a Level D with their blood, all a pureblood is really doing is making that lower ranking vampire forever indebted to them - slowly but surely tightening a leash. Which is why, obviously, the placebo of a pureblood's blood is no longer a viable option for any of you. That, my friends, is why this program is so important."

At least Zero can agree with him on the leash part.

"Okay," Hisao announces with a cheery clap. "So, with all this in mind, what do you think a pureblood's true motivation is when feeding an ex-human blood?" He searches the room for a target, "Kiryuu-kun?"

All eyes turn to him and Zero looks around, blinking with wide lilac orbs.

"Kiryuu-kun?" he urges, nodding his head reassuringly.

"I guess..." Zero trails off, collecting his thoughts. "I guess it's to belittle us, maybe? A control thing... having us need them so badly, well - it must make them feel powerful." His pitch raises at the end in uncertainty.

"Very insightful, Kiryuu-kun." He pauses, speaking directly to the silver-haired hunter, gray irises flashing with something Zero can't even begin to describe, and then directs his attention back to the class. "Kiryuu Zero raises a good point. Without you - without the lower-ranking vampires - the pureblood's would have no one to look up to them - no one to look down upon. So really, if the pureblood's rely so heavily on Level D's and C's and B's for their high status and ego boosts, doesn't the true power lie within you? Without you, they'd be nothing. They need you - they need you to need them. They isolate you for it - discriminate against you for it - mock you for it, your human blood, but really? It makes you powerful."

And Zero wants to roll his eyes; he wants to sneer and shake his head and snort and do all those things like he usually does.

But he can't.

Because, on the inside, right beneath his temple, a sick and twisting desire forms, and in morbid satisfaction, he gazes upon the pretty picture that the deliciously wrong feeling has painted - wine-colored eyes wide in a sorrowful, hopeless kind of wanting, lips clamped tightly together in a permanent, pained frown, fingers clawing into dry skin - attempting to just not fall apart.

Needing.

Needing him.

Feeling that degrading emotion he felt.

If only Zero knew...

* * *

><p>"You look terrible," Takuma exclaims, voice coming out louder than he'd originally intended it to. Shiki rolls his eyes, pushes the door open, and shoulder-checks the surprised vampire, sluggishly stumbling to the blonde noble's bed and all but throwing himself on it. He's still wearing his uniform from the night before - thank god the pureblood is a neat drinker - although it's no longer crisp and unwrinkled. His eyes are bloodshot and his hair is sticking up in all the wrong places. Takuma's right. He's a walking disaster. "What happened?"<p>

He shakes his head and mumbles into the sheets, "It's a long story," before allowing his eyes to drift closed, having absolutely no intentions of telling said story, attempting to take advantage of the full two hours before class starts - before he'll have to repeat the entire fucking process over again.

* * *

><p>"Today's lesson was horrible," Akiko complains, elbows resting on the edge of the wooden table as she slurps a bowl of steaming hot soup. After their last encounter, Zero and Misa had decided to respectfully part ways, eating their three meals at seperate, distanced tables, and lucky him, Akiko chose to honor Zero with her presence at his table every meal now. "Seriously, did you hear the way Hisao-san talked about purebloods! Can you say rude? Denji-san" - the nickname Zero recently learned Akiko used to refer to Den, the pureblood that had 'helped' what was left of her family - "is nothing like that! It's so stupid," she growls, and then her incredulously raised eyebrows relax, tagging on, "Oh, but that little bit you said about 'belittling' us - that was hilarious, Zero-kun! Did you see the look on his face? Pure genius!" She cackles and grins cheekily.<p>

Zero smirks and shakes his head, scooping up a generous amount of warm soup with his spoon. He feels bad doing so - lying to her with his guilty grin. Normally, he'd be right there with her, laughing his ass off about Hisao's latest lecture, but this one struck a nerve.

On the other hand, despite his general distaste towards all things that go bump in the night, he had to concur - it was fairly strange the way Hisao presented his opinions. If Zero didn't know any better, he'd say that the vampire-friendly program was perhaps a tad bit corrupt...

"Can I ask you a question?" the blonde implores, twirling her own spoon around in the air, flicking droplets of the liquid meal to the floor. Zero looks up in wonder at the kid who so easily switches from one topic to another without a second of hesitation - abandoning an unanswered question like a torn paper bag, the very depiction of patient impatience.

He wishes he understood how.

"Don't you always ask anyway?" Zero replies, tongue in cheek as he stirs his cooling soup in lazy circles, watching the tiny ripples it creates and wondering how the cafeteria staff managed to get it that ghastly green color.

Akiko comes close to sticking her tongue out, Zero sees the idea beginning to form before it's abruptly cut down. Instead, Akiko settles for rolling her eyes before she asks, "Who fed you before you came here? Was it the same person who changed you?"

_I don't care is she gets on her knees and begs, you are never telling her that story, understood?_

Zero's nostrils flare. Right. He forces the itching anger down, inhaling deeply through his mouth. Laughing despite himself, Zero relaxes the tightly-coiled muscles of his shoulders, and rolls his popping neck. A glance over at Akiko and he realizes the kid's watching him, light blue, almost gray, eyes trained on his awkwardly twitching lips.

"Of course not," Zero states, pulling them into a grin, sticking his spoon inside his bowl before he leans forward to place the plastic silverware on the table.

Akiko's eyes widen and she grimaces at the matter-of-fact way he says it, mainly because she knows it has to mean more to him than that. She tilts her head slightly to the side. "Then who?"

Mouth twisting bitterly, Zero launches himself off the bench, moves over towards the exit, past the many wandering eyes of other tables. He turns quickly and retreats to retrieve his almost-forgotten bowl, and sets it on the specified table, already covered with grime-covered dishes and half empty soup bowls. Akiko follows behind shyly until he jerks his head at the cracked open off door, and she's not one hundred percent sure it's an invitation to follow, but she'll take it.

"C'mon. I'll walk you to your room," he says, already starting to maneuver his way down the hallways - he'd been here long enough to have at least some sense of direction. Akiko rushes to his side and has to add an extra three hurried strides just to keep up with the long-legged Level D.

Zero flashes a wide grin and rolls his eyes at Akiko's efforts, then turns the corner, silently chuckling at the way she pivots to adjust to his sharp movements. They stroll in silence for a few minutes until Zero is stopping in the B hall, and stating, "10B, correct?"

Akiko nods.

"Well," Zero announces, turning to leave, "It was nice dining with you" - yet again - "I hope you have a pleasant sleep."

"Wait," she demands, fisting the material of his baggy uniform shirt in her hand, and yanking him back. "So, you gonna answer my question?" she demands, peering up at the hunter through her eyelashes.

His amethyst orbs flicker downward, smile tightening. "Haven't I already?"

"No!" she accuses. His eyebrows raise. "Well, only part of it," she relents.

"Ah," he concedes, bringing his hand to the back of his neck and sighing heavily. "You wanted to know who I fed from - who kept me from falling..."

She nods her head, but then realizes that he's no longer gazing at her, but behind her, instead. "Right," she confirms.

"You wouldn't know him," Zero informs her indifferently, but it's proven useless because Akiko can sense the humiliation behind his words - can see how distressed he is by the choice of topic.

She sets her hand tenderly on his elbow, patting delicately, and nudging him to look down and meet her eyes. "Why are you so embarrassed?"

"Huh?" Zero mutters unintelligibly, taken aback by her perception.

"Embarrassed," she repeats, "You're embarrassed."

Zero shakes his head brusquely and scoffs. "No, I'm not."

"You so are," she exclaims, eyes wide and mouth gaping.

"I'm not."

"Fine!" she huffs, and spins to face her door, turning and tugging on the knob harshly - and failing miserably to open it, might he add. Zero restrains the urge to chuckle at her childish antics. Mainly because he remembers when he use to act the same way...

- (Had he voiced this trail of thought to others that knew him better, they would have gladly reminded him that he still has a predilection towards immature tendencies...) -

She surprises him again though, and he's beginning to see a trend.

Halting in her juvenile fussing, she slackens her grip on the groaning doorknob and removes her hand slowly, allowing her palm to settle gently on the white surface above it.

"Hisao-san's wrong, y'know," she mutters under her breath, "About everything. And you shouldn't be ashamed or anything. It's not a big deal. I mean, sure, it can be a little degrading - to need someone else's help and all... but needing help - needing their help" - and Zero knows she referring to purebloods - "It's one of our most human qualities. If anything," she muses, "You should be proud of it."

When her statement is met with no response, she softly pulls the door open, and steps inside, still refusing to turn and face him, no matter how difficult it makes closing the door behind her -

It's a whisper that could be easily mistaken for a passing breeze had they been - allowed - outside, but she still hears it.

"Kuran Kaname."

Her lips quirk upwards in the corners, and she casts him a glance over her shoulder. "He sounds nice."

For some reason, Zero can't even find it in himself to argue.


	11. Chapter 10

**RE-EDITED to be more visually appealing! **

**Wow.**

**You guys are like seriously amazing. No lie.**

**If you haven't noticed already, I'm a feedback-whore, so usually **_**any **_**kind of response is greatly appreciated (like _really really appreciated, so by all means, review away!...please)_, but still - **_**wow**_**.**

**I'm pretty sure I almost teared up (read: cried like a baby...'slight' exaggeration) reading some of the things you guys said... **

**So, really**_**, thank you to everyone. (especially Sakagami Rose) **_

_**And as a thank you, I'm going to stop embarrassing myself and get on with it!**_

**Disclaimer: I own NOOOTTTHHHIINNNGGGG...FUCKINGSADFACE!**

* * *

><p><em>Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.<em>

* * *

><p>Chapter 10: Day 21<p>

The floor is shifting beneath him, swinging violently from side to side like the rocking of a boat in the midst of an angry hurricane. The walls aren't much better, only they're moving more quickly. Ants on a picnic basket - tiny bodies trembling, shaking, and overlapping to form all kinds of odd, jerking patterns. It makes his skin crawl, and his head spin, and soon the walls and ceiling and floors are following and tilting back and forth as if he's watching a poorly-shot video.

It's like he's not himself - someone else is, and he's just a useless spectator watching his dizzy figure stumble its way down the hallways, bouncing off walls and falling to its knees a few times. And he's seeing it happen, and he knows this time is worse than the others - that Kaname hadn't just taken too much. He'd taken it all, or at least close to it. And all he can do is see and know and fuck, this powerless feeling is far worse than any of the rest of it.

He trips for the last time, too weak to summon the strength to stand - his legs unsupported by wobbling knees, and just lets his face hit the linoleum floor with a clamorous smack, ignoring the pain that ebbs its way into the front of his mind and shoving it as far back as he can.

In this state, he finds it's actually kind of nice. The world is no longer spiraling into a blurred picture and the cool floor is actually quite soothing to his overheated skin.

In this state, he thinks he could fall asleep - close his eyes to the cruel reality and never have to open them to it again.

In this state, he could just give up, and surprisingly, he's not the least bit bothered by this notion.

"Senri-kun?"

But then again, when had Shiki ever gotten his way?

* * *

><p><em>He's in a room, only, it's nothing like the one he had fallen asleep to. This one is disconsolate - dingy tiles covering the walls, each smeared with a grimy mixture of brown and red. The scent of staleness is heavy in the air, along with the puncturing fragrance of iron rust, and Zero finds that regardless of the depth of the breaths he takes, his lungs still clench and groan in discomfort from the lack of fresh oxygen. <em>

_Below his feet, illuminated by the dim, flickering lights overhead, is a trail of dark crimson, leading all the way to the very right corner of the dreary room, seemingly neverending because it does not fade, but simply merges into the pitch black painted there. _

_Then, there's a noise, soft like the tingling of a bell or the fluttering of a butterfly's wings and somewhere deep down inside himself, Zero just knows it's coming from the colorless corner. _

_His foot moves, a twitch nearly, and he's moving towards it. Towards the sinisterly light sound, and he has absolutely no idea why. He's shifting forwards, off-balanced and precariously planted on the tip of his toe, and swings his other foot out in front to catch himself. He repeats the action with the opposite foot this time, and then another with the other, and then the other. And he's getting _closer and closer_, his shoes making tiny splashes in the red puddles, dripping the bright color in places where the floor is bare. _

_The sound stops, and the room is filled with the screaming silence._

_And so does he - hesitating on the last step, peering down into the darkness, looking for it - looking for something, but the attempt achieves little._

_With a gulping kind of swallow, he reaches his hand out gingerly, watching in absolute fright as it too disappears in the velvety blackness that climbs up to his slightly bent elbow. He feels nothing but cool, damp air nipping at the tiny hairs stretching across his forearm. He feels - _

_A hand, cold and clammy, small like a child's, grasps tightly around his wrist, and a face arises from the oblivion, with familiar maroon eyes and chocolate curls. Tiny pink lips open, exposing sharp, pointed fangs, and the sound begins again, only this time, it's no longer a soft whisper._

_It's an anguished wail._

_With a start, Zero grabs the wrist of the chilled hand encircling his, and pulls, but it's to no avail - he's caught in an iron grip. He removes his palm and glances down and -_

_Blood. All of it. Everywhere. It's covering the hand, drenching the face, matting in its hair. It's fucking _everywhere.

"Kiryuu-kun?"

Zero's out of the paper mattress in a flash, and his elbows and forehead hit the wall in front of his bed. He's shaking violently and looking down. Kyo, eyes wide and trembling, stares up, pressed harshly into the wall by his heaving chest. Her eyes go even wider when he opens his mouth and bares his fangs.

"Kiryuu-kun," she pleads. "_Don't."_

And he wants to listen, he really does, but everytime he tries to move away, the frigid, bloody hand returns, and the agonizing sobs echo in his ears.

He leans in, tongue flicking out an licking a trail down pale flesh. If he closes his eyes tight enough, he can almost pretend -

"Don't," but it's hidden behind something else. A savage, deep and rumbling command that rings loudly in his ears, almost like it's coming from _them_, and fills the open space that his fleeing sanity had previously occupied.

_Bite her, _his burning throat snarls.

He snaps back in surprise and stumbles backwards on his heels until they're grazing the opposite wall.

_Do it._

Shaking his head vehemently in disobedience, lilac irises flickering around wildly, he inspects every corner of the room for the source of the gritty order.

There is none.

_Now._

"No," he argues, continuing to shake his head, only now it's with ten times more force, "No, no, no, _no_ - I won't. _I can't_."

The horrified expression on Kyo's face tells him that she has absolutely no idea what's happening.

He's not really sure he does either.

And then she's gone, racing through the cracked door, nicking it with the side of her elbow, and he's left alone with the memory of the red, icy touch and the haunting sound of sobs.

But the worse part is that now he has proof of just how bad things have gotten - just how strong his aching hunger had become.

It was fucking talking to him.

He's pretty certain that wasn't a good sign.

Oh and not only that, but that he tried to kill his nurse, and he faintly recalls that being 'taboo'...

But he could just be remembering wrong.

* * *

><p>Now, Shiki wasn't entirely sure where and when he'd faded. So it came as no surprise to him that when he'd finally escaped the heavy sleep that had chained him to unconsciousness, he'd be somewhere else - and would have absolutely no idea where that somewhere else is. Far from the spinning hallway and ant-covered floor. He was, however, surprised by the clean, fresh and girly smell of the place, something he was most certainly not used to. It reminded of some kind of frilly flower.<p>

Another thing that bewildered him was the obnoxious beeping sound that was constantly ringing in his ear. It was the fly that he couldn't quite see, but knew it was there because every couple of seconds, it would buzz around in his ear like it was asking to get squished. He tries briefly to ignore the discomfort, but then a irritating itch in his right arm becomes too much to bear, and he can no longer take it.

With a sudden urge of the need to move and kick and scream - to do anything besides just lie there uncomfortably - he unlocks his eyelids and grabs for his right wrist, gripping the strange tube that's been causing him distress, and rips it off his arm like it's a disgusting leech. The action hurts, he realizes, and there's a sharp sting in the spot where the tube use to be, but now he's too far gone. But gone into what? A panic attack, maybe - he's not sure. All he knows is that he has to make the damn beeping stop, as well as the newcoming itches he feels on his forehead, under his nose, on his chest - they're everywhere.

He wiggles around like what he supposes a crazy person would, tugging at all the tubes ferociously until he's sure that everything is gone. It works for a second, and for that second, he can relax, but then the beeping picks up again, this time not beep after beep but just one constant one that, though he would think it's impossible, is even more annoying and loud.

It's then he notices that the place is actually a room, a tiny one at that, and is nothing but complex-looking equipment and white walls. It's something he's seen before, but he can't exactly place the image...

It's the infirmary.

His eyes widen in shock, and had he still been hooked up to the still beeping machine, it would have picked up the quickened pounding in his chest. As ridiculously cliche as it sounds, he had no recollection of why he was in a hospital, though he assumes the aching in his head and neck may be able to give him a few hints. Or the nurse - that races into the room in a frenzy, frazzled by the long beep the machine has been spouting out for at least thirty seconds now - could give a few pointers as well.

She visibly relaxes when they see that he's living and breathing, and one of them - the shorter one - goes over to the machine to hush it, allowing the room to be filled with the detailed sounds of what was going on outside the door.

"Why can't we go in already?" an irritated voice protests. "We're his friends."

"Listen," and he looks towards the slightly opened door and realizes that there's another nurse standing there, talking in a hushed tone. "He just woke up. He's in no condition for visitors."

"_Oh come on,_" another voice snips, and this one's feminine and huffy.

"Absolutely not," the nurse finalizes.

"Please, just for a few seconds. Just so we can see if he's okay. I promise we won't bother you anymore after that - " Shiki recognizes _that_ voice.

"Takuma," he croaks, throat hoarse and stinging with each vibration.

And there's not a thing the poor nurse can do to stop said vampire who all but shoves open the door and comes barreling into the room, scanning it quickly until his wide green eyes fall upon Shiki's bed. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Shiki notes how the nurse at the door relents with a frustrated sigh, and allows the other vampires to follow in soon after, but he's too focused on the one that, with long-legged strides, is marching over to him, nodding politely at the other, pleasantly amused nurse at his bed side, stopping when he's staring down at him.

"Takuma," he repeats dumbly, having no clue what to say in such a situation. He hardly was given any preparation.

But, judging from the noble's responding bright, toothy smile, Shiki thinks that maybe it was just right.

* * *

><p>"Just <em>what <em>were you thinking?"

The smiling, cheerful reception hadn't lasted as long as Shiki had hoped it would.

A soon as each one of his friends - excluding Kaname, of course (Shiki assumed the others were now well aware that the pureblood's miraculous 'recovery' was neither miraculous, nor a recovery and that he was not well-suited for being in such an environment - blood bags, IVs, people) - had given him his fair share of awkward and slightly forced smiles, they had crowded around him with crossed arms and berating frowns - besides Yuuki, who stood behind the angered aristocrats and sympathetically grimaced.

"I - " Shiki begins, attempting to respond to Takuma's incredulously inquiring and wrinkled brow.

It comes as no surprise that his friend does not let him finish.

"That's _right_," Takuma interrupts, voice raised in a manner that Shiki's aching head deems very inappropriate for indoors - and in the infirmary no less. "You _weren't_."

Thankfully, Rima notices his pained flinch and calmly whispers, "Ichijou-kun," and places her hand on Takuma's shoulder, squeezing gently as a reminder that she knows how he feels, and agrees immensely. But she also knows that, while very deserving, Shiki was in no condition for this at the very moment.

And Takuma knows it too - of course he does.

Sighing, he nods and shakes off her hand, and says, with a much lighter tone, "Yuuki-hime was the one that found you in the hallway. You were almost - " Takuma cuts off and sucks in his cheeks, restraining something - and Shiki severely hopes it's not tears. "Dead."

Trying to save the aristocrat from any further embarrassment, he ignores the tiny falter and focuses on the girl that's nearly standing in the corner of the room, isolating herself from the others - and he's not sure if it's intentional or not. She apologetically smiles and shrugs her shoulders awkwardly before lowering her head back to the ground.

"Thank you," Shiki states, staring at her with unwavering, deep gray-blue eyes. "_Yuuki-hime_."

Her head snaps up and she blinks. "N - no problem."

"While this is _incredibly _heart-warming," Ruka drawls, although it's less aggressive than her typical sarcasm. Shiki suspects it has little to do with him, and more to do with her unstable relationship with the pureblood princess. It was quite obvious she was going to tread lightly when the girl was around. Ruka was smart enough to realize how lucky she was that Kaname wasn't exactly in the right mindset at the very moment, and either hadn't heard about the fueding girls' legendary spat, or simply didn't feel like meddling with it. "I suggest we get back to the matter at hand." She looks pointedly at Kain.

His eyes roll and exhales loudly. Somehow, in these situations, he always managed to draw the short straw. "Kaname-sama told us what happened... although it was fairly obvious considering the state we found you in..." he says this uncharacteristically timidly and looks back at the quiet and shying Yuuki, shaking his head, which makes Shiki wonder if perhaps finding him like that had affected her more than the others were letting on. If he thought about it, it made sense - seeing someone almost die, and by her brother's hand...

He wouldn't be feeling that well either.

"Anyway," Kain continues, turning back to face Shiki, "I have to admit, your plan was smart - "

"No, it wasn't!" Takuma cries in outrage, eyes wide and blazing a vivid electric-green.

"Ichijou, _please_," Kain sighs, rubbing his temples. The blonde noble's teeth grit together but he says nothing more, earning an approving nod from the fire-haired vampire. "As I was saying, your plan was smart, but it was so _rash - so senseless_. It was... poorly executed. You were foolish - you didn't think. You just acted. And while we all appreciate the effort you put forth to guarantee our safety, I think it goes without saying - or at least, until this happened, I _thought _it did - that we would all be even more appreciativeif you worked a little bit harder at protecting your _own_." A pause. "Nevertheless," the redhead purses his lips, "What you did - well, like I said, it was a good idea. The best we have for the time being at least. And we, together, and as a group, have decided to expand on your plan - to modify it."

Shiki's brow furrows. First, he's admonished for his actions, and now...?

"Instead of a single vampire, because that clearly would be a moronic mistake," - a jab no doubt directed at him - "we're all going to donate our blood to Kaname. Each and every one of us."

"What?" Shiki whispers, baffled. "Did everyone - "

"Everyone agreed," Ruka clucked condescendingly, studying her perfectly manicured nails with a bored, small grin.

Kain nods in confirmation. "However," and Shiki's attention is back on him, "We've come to the conclusion that such a decision is dangerous, so as a precaution, it is mandatory that during all feedings, at least one other person is present in case things get... out of hand. We don't want _this_" - he motions to the bedridden spikey-haired vampire - "happening again. That being said, no one," he throws a quick, warning glance at Aidou, who until this point, had remained expressionless (of course, now his mouth was aghast, and his clear blue eyes were spitting fire), "_No one_ is allowed to give a second feeding until at least three days have passed since the last one they provided."

Shiki has to begrudgingly admit - that's a _much _better plan than his.

* * *

><p>When she leaves the infirmary, she doesn't know why she goes to her of all people, but then, Yuuki understands the second Ruka sees that she's standing there - in the middle of the doorway - and the noble's face morphs into a poorly concealed (probably because its owner isn't trying to conceal it) grimace of distaste.<p>

It's because she's honest.

Which is why Yuuki finds herself asking, "Can we talk?" before she ever really even considered saying it.

Ruka eyebrows narrow, and she flicks her light brown locks over her shoulder. "About what?"

Yuuki assumes that's the closest thing to 'yes' she's going to get. "I..." she trails off, suddenly a whole lot less confident than before.

"If you've come to apologize, I won't accept," Ruka states boredly.

Yuuki blinks. "I wasn't..."

"Oh," Ruka chips, back straightening and mouth pinching - which leads Yuuki to suspect that her previous words were far from the truth. "Well, then what's... up?"

"I - I had some questions about Onii-sama - well, specifically about blood bonds. I pulled a bunch of books from the library, including some ancestor journals, but they all really only mention complete bonds... and well, they're not very helpful. I was wondering if maybe you knew something about them - like how long Onii-sama can last on our blood, or what happens when he can't..." the pureblood trails off.

"I have _no _idea," Ruka says a matter-of-fact-like, and Yuuki suddenly feels incredibly foolish, because of course she didn't know, and if the noble did, Yuuki doubts she'd be the first one on Ruka's list of who-to-tell. She probably wasn't the first on anybody's list, and rightfully so. She wasn't exactly the most useful person in the world at the time being.

(Or ever.)

"Right," Yuuki murmurs, turning to leave -

"Wait," Ruka exclaims, hopping up from her seat at her vanity mirror. "Where'd you put the books?"

Yuuki falters, bemused. "The, uhh library..."

"And how many do you have left?"

The pureblood wine-eyes flicker up to the ceiling as she tries to remember... "I've found six so far, but I'm not even halfway through the second one, and I only was able to check four shelves."

Ruka nods. "And I bet there's more."

"Probably," Yuuki awkwardly concurs.

The light-brunette is now moving, approaching the doorway and walking straight into it, forcing Yuuki to move out into the hallway to allow the other girl through. She watches and listens, shocked, as Ruka calls out from behind her retreating figure, "Well, c'mon now. Let's go."

"O - okay," she stutters, eyes coloring a shade lighter with disbelief and excitement.

Ruka's body halts as she catches herself, and she's snipping, "But just to be clear - we're not friends. I'm only doing this because of... what did you call it...? Oh, right - my 'pathetic crush' on your brother."

Yuuki can practically hear the smirk in Ruka's voice.

And surprisingly, it doesn't bother her in the slightest.

* * *

><p>Afterwards, the others leave, and it's just Takuma and Shiki, who have just been told by the nurse that sadly, Shiki would still be glued to the hospital bed for at least the next few days. They don't speak very often - not after the conversation with Kain and the nurse (they'll have to erase her memories later - can't have the kind lady blabbering to the other staff members that there are, <em>heaven help<em>, vampires at the school!) They can't; Takuma's still debating whether to be furious or relieved, and Shiki's feeling just plain exhausted.

The only words they trade are when Takuma stands up abruptedly and says he's getting them some dinner, and, surprisingly (to Shiki), he's not lying. He returns half an hour later, with two glasses filled to the brim with water - Shiki suspects that Takuma has managed to drip out at least some of it, given his typically clumsy nature - and two tiny, white capsules. He then sets them on the tray at the end of Shiki's bed and drops the tablets into the drinks - one in each - watching, fascinated as the pill fizzes and the clear liquid is tinted to a thin red.

Shiki finds it quite ridiculous that he's drinking blood when hooked up to an IV and blood bag, but he doesn't complain.

He knows better than that.

After a few minutes, Takuma, still sipping his half-empty glass, looks up and asks, "Hungry?"

Shiki's eyebrows raise in bewildered confusion until he notices how light the cup feels in his hands and glances down - it's gone. All of it.

Perhaps he was in worse condition than he had thought.

It takes him a second, but he realizes the aristocrat's still staring at him intensely, and is now slightly worried at his lack of response, so he shakes his head, and sets his glass down on the bedside table.

The green-eyed blonde doesn't appear the least bit convinced.

"I'm fine," Shiki reassures him.

Takuma nods, biting his lip and focusing back on the meal in his hand - not because he's hungry (although he_ really is), but_ really because it's somewhere else to look besides his friend's weak and pale face.

But Shiki's not having that. Especially, when he's slightly tipsy and rejuvenated by the sudden burst of energy brought on by consuming (probably too much) blood, and with a new, interesting something else poking its way into his mind -

_The tickling sensation invokes a frame shaking shiver in the blonde, though this one is far more pleasant than any of the others he'd experienced that day. _

"Taku... ma," he tags on the last syllable, not really sure if the other vampire would appreciate his nickname at the current moment. "The blood - in the bags - it's yours, right?"

"How did you - " Takuma stops, eyes wide and nervous - mainly because he realizes just how Shiki knows. He remembers how a person's blood - in large servings - has been known to show some of its owner's memories to the vampire that consumes it, but surely it wasn't -

_Actually, come to think of it, he finds that it's very pleasant._

"You. I can feel it's you."

And his fears are confirmed, and his past anger is forgotten in his nervous anxiety.

"What did you - " he stutters, "What did you see?"

Shiki smirks, eyes twinkling. "Nothing much."

And Takuma just knows that bastard's lying, and he can't stop the pink that paints his cheeks, especially with the other vampire's cocky grin so unabashedly stretched across his face.

(While Shiki's just glad that he managed to pick the absolute perfect thing to distract Takuma from his displeasure...

Well, he's happy because of that, and the other obvious reason...)

* * *

><p>"That's... that's impossible," Yuuki chokes, dropping the opened book onto the table with a loud thud.<p>

Ruka peers up through a few collected pieces of cascading hair, away from the book she'd been trying to study intensely - but was failing at miserably - flitting her dreary gaze towards the stunned pureblood, and takes in the girl's bulging eyes and gaping mouth. "What is?"

Yuuki shakes her head in amazement. "Surely, there must be something wrong... I - I must've misread." She buries her head back into the book, and Ruka watches in confusion as she reads it once - twice - again - and again, until -

"That's impossible," Yuuki repeats.

"_What is_?" Ruka questions anxiously, standing from her comfortable spot in the cushioned loveseat and practically racing over to Yuuki's seat at the table.

"There's not much at all," Yuuki breathes, "Except for right here." She points to a small paragraph in the dusted book that is entirely too far away for Ruka to even begin to see, so she urges the girl to continue with a nod. "It doesn't really go into incomplete blood bonds, but it does mention that in any type of blood bond - which I'm assuming includes incomplete ones - if a vampire were to die, the vampire bonded to that vampire would die immediately after as well. It then says that this is because they were bitten - that biting someone can bind their life to yours..."

"So, wait," Ruka eyes her dubiously, "What part of that did we not already know...? I mean, I thought it was kind of obvious that Kaname-sama was dying and that it was because of Kiryuu-kun's - "

"Sounen-senpai," Yuuki interrupts, shaking her head. "The book said 'immediately after'. Onii-sama should have died immediately after Zero's death, but he didn't..."

It dawns on the noble, and she gasps, bringing her hand to her mouth in realization.

Yuuki trudges on anyway. "Which means - "

"Kiryuu-kun isn't dead."


	12. Chapter 11

**RE-EDITED to be more visually appealing!**

**'Kay, so this one's pretty short (but it's NOT a filler chapter lol) which is funny considering it covers like three whole days, but I got it out like REALLY fast, so I think that TOTALLY makes up for its length. After all, **_**size doesn't matter**_**.**

**Haha lies XD**

**Disclaimer: Me owns nothing! SADFACE!**

* * *

><p><em>Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.<em>

* * *

><p>Chapter 11: Days 34, 35, and 36<p>

He dreamt Hisao stabbed him in the eye with a pencil.

No, really. In his dream, the teacher was in the middle of a passionate lecture and out of nowhere, walks up to Zero's desk, plucks the pencil right out of Zero's writing hand, and thrusts it into his wide, unexpecting eye.

To say his previous encounter with Kyo made him paranoid would be an extremeunderstatement.

Over the past few days, he'd trained himself to wake up an hour before the lights come on, just to mentally prepare himself for the possibility of large, bulky men decked in white lab coats showing up at his door around seven o'clock to 'wake him up', but despite his terrorish wonderings, it's always Kyo - voice bright and cheery just like the mornings before he nearly attacked her, and with the vitamin tablets cupped carefully in her hand.

Which, frankly, just makes him even more ansty. He hates waiting - even if it is for the oblique threat of 'punishment' that perches at the end of his bed each night, daunting and refusing to vanish into the recesses of his mind.

And not only that, but he's been having these dreams lately. Only they aren't exactly dreams. He knows that these things, these thoughts, they aren't dreams at all, because he wakes up sweating, gasping for air, crying out for someone he knows isn't there.

After the seventh night in a row, he realizes what they are.

Nightmares.

He hears the crying - that crying. The same one as always, just a pitch black image until finally he can make out every detail of the face, down to every freckle (or lack thereof), and he knows - he just fucking knows - he's seen it somewhere before: somewhere outside of the dreams...

But he doesn't. He doesn't fucking know, and part of him worries he never will.

Before the hunger, he didn't mind as much. Strange things like this could always be easily shoved away. Things he could pin off as a result of restless sleep, or perhaps a warped memory of one of his less than pleasant experiences? Either would be a reasonable conclusion, right? He wasn't even that worried about what it meant - what it would mean. Before the emptiness that began in the pit of his stomach and somehow worked its way up his throat and to his brain, he was able to believe that this - all this - was happening to someone else, to anyone else but him - that he couldn't see it, or that seeing it meant nothing.

Before the thirst, he thought that eventually, it would just fade away with time.

But now he knows. Now he notices the way it whispers constantly in his mind - painting that same gory picture - and not just when he's starving, but always there, even when Zero's doing something else - even when Zero's fully dedicated and focused on something other than it - it's there. He knows that it means one thing, and one thing only. It means that he can't go back. It means that when (when, not if) he is finally deemed 'cured', when this encompassing thirst miraculously disappears as the hospital staff keeps claiming it will, he won't be the same person he was before.

He won't be able to return to the Academy, he won't be able to continue his duty as a hunter, he won't be Zero. He'll be this - digging his fingers into his skin until it bleeds, just to feel something he knows is all him. His thoughts may be violated and altered, but this. The horrid, gut-wretching feeling of agony is his and his alone.

He's been figuring a lot, thinking about things, and he's almost sure that (if he doesn't get 'punished' - if Kyo doesn't tell) Cross will take him back. The man was too kind-hearted for his own good. But when he thinks about this, his heart begins to race, stomach jumping at the thought of seeing them again. Truth be told, he'd rather stay here - locked away from everything, kept safe.

He was finally able to capture the mindset of the others - how they thought the way they did, how they beared this prison.

But no, he couldn't stay here forever. They wouldn't let him.

And in that split second, he wishes it would all just go away. Leave. He wishes that there was no plan set it his life, that he could live by his own wants and needs. Ethics was just a word, right? But most of all, he wishes he could forget it all - forget them all - and just live, unaffected like he knows he should be. But that won't happen. It can't.

So that's why he lays awake at night, the thoughts and the nightmares pushing his heavy eyelids open wide. Sometimes he hears a noise and he'll be so close to calling out for help - for anything. Sometimes he hears a noise, and it's _that_.

Sometimes he hears a noise, and realizes that it's only the sound of his own shallow breathing.

* * *

><p>"Anything new?"<p>

"Hmmm?" Yuuki's head raises pertly from her book, eyes blurring at the sudden change in lighting and she has to blink them focused.

Ruka sighs, leaning against the door frame. "I said, _'Anything new?'_"

"Oh!" Yuuki exclaims, smiling sheepishly and closing the book, using her middle finger to mark the page. "Not really. Just a few things that we pretty much already know."

An intelligable 'hurrumph', and Ruka is gliding across the room, towards the book-covered table, perching her lithe body on the corner closest to Yuuki. She absentmindedly picks up the cover of a book, allowing it to hover a few inches above the title page before dropping it back down. A cloud of dust shoots out, filling the air, and Yuuki emits a tiny sneeze.

After a quick swipe at her wrinkled nose with the bottom of her sleeve, the pureblood bites her lip and removes her hand completely from the book. There was no way she was going to be able to focus now. Although both girls had 'bonded' over this whole dilemma, they were far from being friends, and the atmosphere was a tad bit tense.

"Souen-senpai," Yuuki murmurs, choosing to look at the dusted book in front of her, rather than the noble to her left - she was more confident that way. "I know you said we shouldn't tell Onii-sama or the others about this until we're positive that it's accurate, but don't you think that's a little..." she trails off, biting her lip again.

"What?" Ruka demands, not the least bit endeared by the other vampire's bashfulness.

"Cruel?"

"Cruel?" Ruka repeats dubiously. "What's _cruel _is giving Kaname-sama even the tiniest shred of hope and then ripping it away when we find out that we were reading too much into the text, and had misinterpreted the entire situation - what's cruel is telling him he's going to die _twice_. Once has done more than enough damage."

A dejected exhale. "Maybe you're right."

The light-brunette grins bitterly. "I'm _always _right."

* * *

><p>It's the strangest thing Zero thinks he's seen in a while... which in retrospect, is saying a lot.<p>

They're all sitting there, eyelids willed open purely by self-preservation as Hisao rants on and on about 'I-hate-all-vampires-except-for-you-guys-of-course' as his lecture of the day, and paces frantically around the room, nearly spraying the first row with spit from his oh so passionate 'p's, when all of a sudden, the eldest man in the room - the one who had thrown a fit the first day of their lessons - is jumping from his seat, hand outstretched and index finger pointed sharply. He's saying something, but Zero's not sure what because his words are garbled and he's facing the opposite direction, standing three seats ahead of Zero.

Zero never does find out, but he assumes it must've been pretty bad, granted the reaction it received.

Then, like they'd been standing outside the room, ready and on call, two men rush in through the door and grab at him, both on each side, restraining his flailing arms, and pull him towards the exit, ignoring the way the crazed man is digging his heels into the tiled floor beneath him, causing a horrible, teeth-clenching squeaking sound.

And as he's dragged away from the wide-eyed and blinking classroom, all too shocked to even comprehend what's happening, his own bugged-orbs flit around the room, searching and searching until they meet his - meet Zero's (who can't help but wonder why it's always him that these kinds of things happen to). His trembling mouth opens right before he's finally passing through the entryway, and he whispers, and though the noise is hushed, Zero's trained ear can pick up the desperate edge - the pleading. A dying man's last words.

"Don't - the pills - lie."

It's not even a complete thought, and Zero's definitely not sure what to take from the whole situation except that Hisao seems strangely at peace with the idea of his student's insane condition considering that he just regards the now empty doorway for a brief moment, and then continues, as if the graying man had simply chucked a wad of paper at him.

And that's very unsettling.

* * *

><p>"This is weird," Aidou complains, twitching apprehensively under both vampires' gazes - one a foreboding hungry glaze of dark red, and the other smoldering gilded irises with an irked glint decorating their outermost rim in tiny flecks of sunlight-gold.<p>

"Stop whining," Kain orders, arms crossed and jaw set. "Let's just get this over with." He glances pointedly at Kaname who's already taking the blonde noble's arm in his hands, and trailing his fingers up until they're about halfway in between Aidou's wrist and elbow. His index one hooks, the nail digging slightly into the ivory skin beneath it.

Aidou flinches. "Wait, wait, wait - don't - "

The nail flicks, cutting a straight, fine line of red - it's as quick as light, and as 'painful' as a teeny pinprick from a sewing needle.

Kain's eyebrows raise, and the pureblood is already lowering his head to the scratch.

"Shuddup," Aidou mutters, cheeks tinting pink.

* * *

><p>The next day, he tells them.<p>

The weird thing about 'unfortunate news' (as Hisao calls it), is that no matter what it is - who it is about - people always cry. It's like the second something is titled 'unfortunate', people are dead silent with grave, muted expressions painting their faces.

It's like they really care.

The 'unfortunate' thing is that they really don't.

He guesses that this is a similar reaction to what his funeral received: tear-streaked, pale faces, sniffles, embarrassing wails, and ridiculously fake words like, "He was such a good person", "He tried so hard", or "We'll miss him greatly". And just like with the gruff, crazy old Level D's parting, none of these kind thoughts were expressed by people who even had the right to say them. Just like the man, no one really knew Zero.

So then why were the fucking vampires bawling their eyes out?

Even fucking Suckup/BlushingShowerGuy is doing it.

The only reasonable explanation Zero can come up with this - and it's only because it's what ran through his mind when he heard the elder Level D had fallen (not that he was all that surprised):

They're scared, and selfishly so.

'Falling' was always one of those things they talked about, but it never really happened. It was a myth, an urban legend -

A nightmare.

Until now, Zero almost forgot it wasn't.

They'd grown too comfortable - too sure of themselves. Complacent. After all, it had been the longest he suspects any of them had gone without blood, and they'd started thinking they were invincible.

And now, they knew they weren't.

* * *

><p><em>He's in a room, only, it's nothing like the one he had fallen asleep to. This one is disconsolate - dingy tiles covering the walls, each smeared with a grimy mixture of brown and red. The scent of staleness is heavy in the air, along with the puncturing fragrance of iron rust, and Zero finds that regardless of the depth of the breaths he takes, his lungs still clench and groan in discomfort from the lack of fresh oxygen. <em>

_Below his feet, illuminated by the dim, flickering lights overhead, is a trail of dark crimson, leading all the way to the very right corner of the dreary room, seemingly neverending because it does not fade, but simply merges into the pitch black painted there. _

_Then, there's a noise, soft like the tingling of a bell or the fluttering of a butterfly's wings and somewhere deep down inside himself, Zero just knows it's coming from the colorless corner. _

_His foot moves, a twitch nearly, and he's moving towards it. Towards the sinisterly light sound, and he has absolutely no idea why. He's shifting forwards, off-balanced and precariously planted on the tip of his toe, and swings his other foot out in front to catch himself. He repeats the action with the opposite foot this time, and then another with the other, and then the other. And he's getting _closer and closer_, his shoes making tiny splashes in the red puddles, dripping the bright color in places where the floor is bare. _

_The sound stops, and the room is filled with the screaming silence._

_And so does he - hesitating on the last step, peering down into the darkness, looking for it - looking for something, but the attempt achieves little._

_With a gulping kind of swallow, he reaches his hand out gingerly, watching in absolute fright as it too disappears in the velvety blackness that climbs up to his slightly bent elbow. He feels nothing but cool, damp air nipping at the tiny hair stretching across his forearm. He feels - _

_A hand, cold and clammy, tiny like a child's, grasps tightly around his wrist, and a face arises from the oblivion, with familiar maroon eyes and chocolate curls. Tiny pink lips open, exposing sharp, pointed fangs, and the sound begins again, only this time, it's no longer a soft whisper._

_It's an anguished wail._

_With a start, Zero grabs the wrist of the chilled hand encircling his, and pulls, but it's to no availl - he's caught in an iron grip. He removes his palm and glances down and -_

_Blood. All of it. Everywhere. It's covering the hand, drenching the face, matting in its hair. It's fucking _everywhere.

_And it smells fucking delicious. _

_It smells like pureblood._

_The tiny, red lips part, flashing blood-stained teeth._

_"He's coming."_

He doesn't wake with a start this time - simply drifts back into consciousness. He's not sweating, nor is he breathing heavily.

He's just lying there - awake.

* * *

><p>It's only until the next morning that he recalls what the man had said.<p>

_Don't - the pills - lie._

And it was only until Kyo hands him his daily vitamin-blood supplements that he realizes exactly what he meant.

_Don't - the pills - lie._

Zero quickly pops them past his lips, tucking them into the back corner of his mouth, right between his teeth and cheek, and swallows, grimacing slightly at the bitter taste.

Satisfied with the action, Kyo turns around and marches down the hallway, off to her next victim, and leaving Zero to head to the bathroom by himself.

It's only until he's under the showerhead, the stinging hot water running down his back, coloring his skin a pleasant pink, that he does it - he flicks out the two tiny capsules from the corner they were wedged in with his tongue, and spits.

He watches the chalky white tablets dissolve under the heated spray and run down the drain.


	13. Chapter 12

**RE-EDITED to be more visually appealing!**

**Hey!**

**Just wanted to thank every one for their feedback! (And to say that I would love to receive more... but I won't say that, because that sounds selfish...)**

_**Winkwink**_**.**

**XOXO**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing...SADface.**

* * *

><p><em>Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.<em>

* * *

><p>Chapter 12: Day 47<p>

"We're falling apart," Akiko whispers, blue eyes quivering, cherry lips parted.

Zero has no idea what she means at first - thinks that maybe she's still hung up on the old man and everything, which is strange considering he doesn't recall her even liking him - but then, he sees it.

There are two empty chairs today.

Two. Not one.

Class hasn't started yet - Hisao isn't there yet. But he should be.

The room is filled with hushed voices, more than glad to fill up the teachers vacant space, and they're everywhere, so Zero can't seperate one from the others. It's just a melodic cacophany of gasps and cries and pure disbelief.

He knows who the second empty chair belongs to.

But he just can't believe it.

* * *

><p>"I really don't like this..."<p>

"Shiki," Takuma sighs in exasperation, "We've went over this already."

And they had - multiple times.

Takuma specifically remembered telling the other vampire that yes, in fact, his turn to feed the pureblood had come about and no, he's afraid he cannot 'fuck it' (as Shiki had so elegantly put it). And lastly, no, Shiki was in no condition to be their onlooker - because one, he was still a near sickly pale, and could still hardly stand, let alone fight a crazed, bloodthirsty vampire (if it came down to that, of course) and two, none of the Night class students were very comfortable with the idea of Shiki being in the same room as the pureblood when he was drinking Takuma's blood. Something told them that the dark red-head wouldn't handle it as well as any other choice of a bystander would.

He releases his grip from the doorknob, and turns to face the maroon-haired vampire and the orange-haired girl at his side, who's hand is resting on Shiki's shoulder, rubbing in soothing circular motions.

Is it dumb that seeing it makes Takuma slightly (just slightly!) green with envy?

... Nah.

"I know," Shiki admits, begrudgingly. "It's just - why can't it be me? Why Rima?"

Takuma scoffs, eyes rolling, as he crosses his arms in front of his chest. "We've went over _that_, too."

"Fuck! _I know_! I just - fuck!" Shiki exclaims, bringing his clenched fist to his mouth, pressing it tightly against his lips, lest anything moremortifying manages to sqeeze its way out.

"You just what?" Takuma questions, eyebrows knit together in confusion.

Rima tightens her grip on his shoulder. _Go on_, he can practically hear her obnoxiously urging.

"Don't make me say it," Shiki quietly pleads.

It clicks - Shiki can tell. He can see the widening of the blonde noble's brilliant green eyes in understanding. He can see the twirks in the corner of the vampire's pink lips, and then the tensing that occurs in the same corners in response - obviously trying to restrain a smile... and obviously failing miserably.

Takuma emits a breathy, nervous laugh. "I'll be fine, I promise."

Shiki frowns, unconvinced.

The blonde noble's not sure how he manages to muster up the courage to do it, but he does. He's sliding effortlessly until he's in front of the frustrated vampire, feet planted, and stance uncharacteristically confident. And he's reaching out, bringing his hand to Shiki's arm, allowing his fingers to stroke the satin, ivory skin. He looks up from the appendage, eyes shining.

"I'll be fine, _I promise_," he repeats, but this one definitely holds more value - enough, in fact, for Shiki to huff and nod his head - hiding the grin that contagiously wants to spread from Takuma's face to his.

* * *

><p>"A horrible misfortune, indeed. It saddens me to see not only one, but two of our loved and respected friends leave with their dreams just barely out if reach," Hisao sighs, bringing his hand to the back of his neck, and shakes his head in remorse. "I realize how terrible it is to receive such horrifying news, but I ask of you to take these losses as a reminder - as a lesson. Look around you," he outstretches his arms and raises them, parallel to the ground. "Look at each other's sorrrow and remember it - bookmark this very moment and box it away, because I assure you, your day will come. It's imminent. There will be a time when each and every one of you will have doubts and will second guess all this progress you've made. But instead of giving up, like our dearly-departed friends, you will think of this - you will see the grieving expressions - and remember just how much you mean to the people here - and not just your classmates, but to me. To the nurses and the rest of the staff."<p>

His gray eyes are unwavering, heady and overwhelming. He's looking at all of them. He's looking at only one. He's gazing into their intermost soul. He's seeing the ashen fear covering faces. He's seeing everything.

_One eye an angry red, the other a haunting blue. _

"This will not happen again. You will not let this frivolous desire surpass your morality. You will not attack your nurse like Hiroki-kun did."

_Hiroki_, Zero realizes, _shower-boy_.

"You will all stay strong - for yourselves, for those around you, for those you've lost to this deadly illness called vampirism. You will remember," Hisao repeats, "And in your memories, you shall prosper."

* * *

><p>When Zero was young, he loved pretending. Of all the games he'd ever created to compensate for those lonely days when his brother was all but tied to his sick bed, and his parents were at work, and his collarbone was still weak and healing, making his lessons with Yagari simply out of the question, this was by far his favorite. Back then, he never really could identify what it was that was so appealing about propping against a tree, closing his eyes, and thinking. Zero was no philosopher. Just like any respectable hunter child, Zero was taught to believe in the black and white - that everything was either right or it was wrong, and that was simply the way life was.<p>

He supposes that's why he never told anyone what he did when he went out there for several hours of the long day. His family just always assumed he was napping, or he was exploring, or anything else a typical little boy would do, and he'd let them. Having his mother berate him for being lazy, having his father belittle him with his constant head shaking and disappointed sighs, hearing things like _"When will he ever grow up?"_ - all of these were worth it. Zero would rather them continue to bounce each and every half-hearted accusation at him like he was a wall, than have them know the truth.

You see, a long, long time ago, Zero Kiryuu was a visionary. When he was alone, safe under the shade of a leafy green tree, he would reflect and remember. He would bring to mind those many lectures given to him by his sensei and relive them like the present.

He'd recall Yagari's hard, authoritative voice, _"Because, Zero, they're_ monsters_. They don't see right and wrong like you and I do_."

He'd see past-him grinning slightly at the way his teacher said _you _and _I_ and the false-comfort that it'd provided him with, but then his brow would furrow, and he would hesitantly mumble, _"But Sensei, what if they were trying to do the right thing, and it turned out being wrong? What if they aren't trying to kill people on purpose? What if it's an accident?"_

What if it's gray?

Yagari would always frown when he said something like that, and his eyes would glaze over with something Zero could never really quite put a name to. All he knew is that it looked cold - hurt, almost - and that Zero would always feel incredibly guilty afterwards, promising himself that next time he'll hold his tongue. That next time, he'll make sure his beloved teacher never looks like that again.

Zero never was able to keep his promise.

Later, he would replay the conversations in his mind, but then, they'd always end differently. At first, Zero would change his sensei's reaction. Instead of frowning, Yagari would grin proudly at his student's insight and reach his hand out, ruffling the boy's already messy silver strands. Then, Yagari would say, "You're going to make a great man someday, Zero." And that would be it.

But soon, Zero decided that that reality was selfish and unrealistic, so he then got rid of the conversations altogether, completely omitting his foolish statements about his views, and simply made himself nod in agreement to whatever Yagari had said, even though it made him feel less like himself than ever before.

Because doing the right thing was suppose to not feel good, right? It was suppose to be an act of selflessness - a sacrifice, and there's that word again!

Hisao said that by being here - that by participating in this program - they were making a 'sacrifice'.

If everything really was all clear cut right and wrong, then that must mean that by being here, they were doing the right thing, and because being here was the right thing, so was following the rules. Which would mean that disobeying the rules was wrong. That biting a nurse would be wrong. That that boy Zero had never even taken the time to learn the name of prior to his falling - in a class of fucking twenty! - was wrong.

All but the last were easy concepts to grasp. Call him naive, but Zero just couldn't wrap his mind around the idea of Hiroki - not much older than his sponsor, Akiko, and that blushed red and covered his eyes just at seeing the silver-haired Level D's bare chest, and that had cried silently and secretly at his desk when Hisao had informed the members of the class that their eldest had fallen - was wrong, when everything about him screamed right.

And for the first time in years, Zero closes his eyes and lies his head down against his pillow - it's no steady trunk, but it will have to do - and he just thinks.

Perhaps his opinion was contaminated by his sympathy. Perhaps he was also wrong, himself. Or perhaps, just maybe, Yagari, Kaito, and the others were the ones that were wrong.

He thinks of Kaname, Yuuki, Aidou, Ruka, Kain, Shiki, Takuma, Rima - all of those fucking vampires he'd hated with a passion -

And for the first time in years, it's completely without malice, because, if the hunters were wrong about this, then what else?

* * *

><p><em>He's in a room, only, it's nothing like the one he had fallen asleep to. This one is disconsolate - dingy tiles covering the walls, each smeared with a grimy mixture of brown and red. The scent of staleness is heavy in the air, along with the puncturing fragrance of iron rust, and Zero finds that regardless of the depth of the breaths he takes, his lungs still clench and groan in discomfort from the lack of fresh oxygen. <em>

_Below his feet, illuminated by the dim, flickering lights overhead, is a trail of dark crimson, leading all the way to the very right corner of the dreary room, seemingly neverending because it does not fade, but simply merges into the pitch black painted there. _

_Then, there's a noise, soft like the tingling of a bell or the fluttering of a butterfly's wings and somewhere deep down inside himself, Zero just knows it's coming from the colorless corner. _

_His foot moves, a twitch nearly, and he's moving towards it. Towards the sinisterly light sound, and he has absolutely no idea why. He's shifting forwards, off-balanced and precariously planted on the tip of his toe, and swings his other foot out in front to catch himself. He repeats the action with the opposite foot this time, and then another with the other, and then the other. And he's getting _closer and closer_, his shoes making tiny splashes in the red puddles, dripping the bright color in places where the floor is bare. _

_The sound stops, and the room is filled with the screaming silence._

_And so does he - hesitating on the last step, peering down into the darkness, looking for it - looking for something, but the attempt achieves little._

_With a gulping kind of swallow, he reaches his hand out gingerly, watching in absolute fright as it too disappears in the velvety blackness that climbs up to his slightly bent elbow. He feels nothing but cool, damp air nipping at the tiny hair stretching across his forearm. He feels - _

_A hand, cold and clammy, tiny like a child's, grasps tightly around his wrist, and a face arises from the oblivion, with familiar maroon eyes and chocolate curls. Tiny pink lips open, exposing sharp, pointed fangs, and the sound begins again, only this time, it's no longer a soft whisper._

_It's an anguished wail._

_With a start, Zero grabs the wrist of the chilled hand encircling his, and pulls, but it's to no availl - he's caught in an iron grip. He removes his palm and glances down and -_

_Blood. All of it. Everywhere. It's covering the hand, drenching the face, matting in it's hair. It's fucking _everywhere.

_And it smells fucking delicious. _

_It smells like pureblood._

_The tiny, red lips part, flashing blood-stained teeth._

_"He's coming."_

_"Who is?" Zero asks, but it comes out nearly unintelligible - his throat dry and scratchy with a desiring thirst._

_The scarlet lips part again - _

"Zero-kun."

Zero eye's snap open, and his arm shoots up, aiming a clumsy, unsupported punch at the source of the noise.

He misses.

"Zero-kun," the watery girl snaps, affronted and offended - it's obvious from the tone.

His eyes widen and focus in on the mass of blonde that's resting on the edge of his paper-thin mattress. "Akiko. Sorry, I thought you were - " he cuts off, because now that he can see her: he can see her. "A - are you _crying_?"

Her head shakes furiously, splattering his heated-skin with cooling droplets of her not-tears.

"What's wrong?" Zero questions, voice pinched with worry. "Why are you - wait. How. The fuck. Did you. Get in. Here?"

He throws a quick and flightly glance around his dark bedroom... this was his bedroom, right?

Akiko shakes her head again, refusing to supply him with a valid verbal response, and simply brings her trembling hand to her mouth in attempt to muffle her quiet sobs and throws herself atop his sweat-soaked figure with a plop.

Completely at loss for what to do - because Zero was pretty much shit when it came to kids, let alone crying ones - he sets his hand on her shaking back, alternating between awkward pats and rubbing jagged circles.

Zero doesn't think his sheets could be anymore drenched, but Akiko finds a way to make it possible with her still-not-tears. When she stops crying finally - only a pained hiccup every few minutes - he tries again.

"Why are you cry - "

"My door wasn't locked," she whispers, peaking up from the litmus sheets, clumps of damp hair sticking to her cheeks and forehead. "Yours wasn't either. Guess our nurses trust us..."

_Kyo?_ _Trusting him?_

Hadn't he almost killed her not too long ago...?

But that's something he'll have to get back to later, because right now, the teary-eyed girl crumpled up on his chest seemed like a far more pressing matter.

"Why are you crying?" And he's beginning to feel like a broken record player.

She bites her lip and buries her head back down into his blankets. "Iwasscared," she hisses into the cotton material.

"Huh?" Zero grunts, tugging gently on a few of her curls, willing her head to lift back up.

She relents, and meets his gaze. "I was scared," she murmurs, and even though it's nearly pitch black, he's fairly certain she's blushing. "I still am."

"Of what?"

"Falling," she croaks.

"Akiko," he sighs, rubbing his forehead, "You're not gonna - "

"You would of said the same about Hiroki-kun!" she accuses.

An eye roll. "I would _not_ - "

"Yes. You _would_. Everyone would. Everyone _did_." When he gives no response, she continues. "I was thinking about - I couldn't sleep, and I was thinking, and all of a sudden, I _felt_ it. The aching thist. I _felt _it. I still _feel it_." She's crying again, tears streaming freely down her cheeks. "Zero-kun, I'm gonna be like them. I just know it - "

"Calm down," he says. "Not too loud, okay? You're going wake everyone up."

So she shuts her mouth, not emitting a single sound except tiny and pathetic whimpers - like a hurt puppy.

"You're hungry?" Zero reconfirms.

A nod.

He's horrible with kids, crying kids, crying adults, adults, people in general, so why is it that he knows a solution to solve one's problem? Why is it that he wantsto solve one's problem?

He lets his head fall back into his pillow. "Fuck," he moans, "Listen. Don't argue, just do exactly as I say, okay?"

Silence.

"Okay?" he repeats.

"Okay," she whispers hoarsely.

"Use mine," he orders, begrudgingly so, not the least bit thrilled by his own idea.

Her eyebrows furrow. "Your...?"

"Blood. Drink some of my blood."

* * *

><p>"That's interesting," Kaname murmurs, removing his lips from Takuma's tiny wound with a quirked smile - an odd image indeed.<p>

Takuma blinks, and pulls his arm back, rubbing the tiny smears of red on the opposite sleeve of his sleep shirt in attempts to clean the cut. Vampires hadn't been known to get many diseases or infections, but Takuma sure as hell wasn't going to take any chances. Though, he doubts that simply wiping off the blood would do him much good in his efforts anyway...

"What is?" the blonde noble questions skeptically, expression wary.

"That Senri-kun was _that _upset over this," he chuckles bitterly. "I find it _interesting_."

"That's not - " _your business_, he starts to say, but then he remembers. A long time ago - never had a month and a half seemed longer - Takuma might have disclosed the entire situation to the pureblood. Kaname was one of his dearest friends, after all. But now?

Things just weren't the same.

Still, his heart squeezes in remorse when he sees the dejected pain that flits briefly across the vampire prince's face before it's quickly hidden by his mask of indifference, and he is once again the stunning example of regal supremacy, even is his disheveled state.

"Of course," Kaname states coolly, wine-colored orbs blank and muted. "Forgive me for intruding."

* * *

><p>"Uhhh..."<p>

Thankfully, Akiko's eyes are stunned to the point of finally being tearless, and Zero no longer has to awkwardly stare into her sorrowful expression. However, he will admit that bemusement was not a good look for her. The near-popping, wide-eyed way she regarded him was far from attractive.

"Excuse me?" she says, and it's better than her first attempt at responding - he'll give her that.

Zero shakes his head incredulously, and brings his hands, palms-touching, to his nose, hooking his thumbs under his chin. "_My blood_," he hisses. _"Now fucking hurry before I change my mind!_"

And he's being completely honest, because he will change his mind - he's already just about there. Muscles tensed, feet planted - he's ready to bolt from the room with even the slightest movement from the girl he's pretty sure weighs a hundred pounds less than him and looks like a fucking porcelain doll, golden ringlets and all.

Yeah, the prospect of sharing his blood scares him that much.

He knows it's irrational - well, actually no, not really... hypocritical? Yes, that's it. It's hypocritical, considering all the times he's taken someone else's blood - Yuuki... Kaname...

Very hypocritical. But he just can't help it, because everytime he even begins to remotely picture the situation that is about to occur, he imagines those rose red lips on his neck, stained with the blood of his loved ones, and the flicking tongue that licks at his skin like a fucking satisfied kitten, and the razor-point fangs that sink in after, invading like the sharp cold of the winter breeze that peirces viciously through his clothes and sends shivers up and down his spine.

Even though he knows it will be Akiko, he'll see her.

Then again, maybe she won't even agree -

"Okay," Akiko whispers hesitantly. "Where?"

_Well, fuck_, Zero's mentally screaming, because now, there's no way in hell he can turn back. Now, he's fucking stuck.

"Uhh, wherever's the easiest, I guess..."

She nods, and wastes no time, gingerly grabbing his shirt, fisting the material into her tiny fist, and pulling him forward. He leans towards her, so that his neck is about level with her head, and she immediately draws back.

"What are you doing?" she asks, mouth twisted and cheeks red.

"I was - I thought - I'm giving you my blood, dammit! Isn't that what's going on here?" he exclaims dumbly, and he's already beginning to blush, too, at her reaction.

Her nose wrinkles, and she peers at him oddly. "From your _neck_?"

He swallows. "Yes...?"

Akiko's eyebrows raise. "Really?"

"Yes - err - fuck!" he stutters. "I don't _care _where, just get it over with already!"

With one last puzzled frown, she does - Akiko reaches for his arm and grasps it, bringing his wrist up to her lips, and - a yelp from Zero when she rolls her tongue out and wets a strip of his ivory skin in one quick lick - slices the flesh with a flick of her fingernail. It's a practiced and fluid series of actions that tells the hunter that she's obviously done this a lot.

Surprisingly, his knowledge of her expertise does little to calm him. Frankly, he feels worse.

Akiko's mouth attaches on to the tiny cut, lips completely covering it, not even allowing a single drop to escape, and sucking so softly that Zero can hardly remember she's there at all. It's not exactly pleasant, but it certainly doesn't hurt. It's far different from the other 'bite' (of course, Akiko hadn't bitten him, but still...) he'd experienced. It's actually kind of soothing, almost. To be able to feel the warmth of another body. To know that he's not alone. He could almost lie back and pretend that this isn't happening to him - that none of this is. That he was back at the Academy, and Yuuki was human, and had fallen asleep on the couch, like she always does, and he's sitting beside her, stroking her hair, or simply ghosting his fingers across her palm even.

Or he could almost pretend something else - this one's quite odd, and he's not sure where it even originated from (actually, he does... he's just is a bit reluctant to admit it...), but he's clutching the crinkled fabric of a dress shirt, and is resting his nose in the hollow of someone's throat, sniffing the fragrance the soft skin emits. He's licking his lips clean of a thick, sweet red liquid, body and head heavy with absolute warmth that he just wants to completely sink into and never leave -

So he does.

It's the first sleep he has that isn't plagued by blood, sobs, or dark corners.


	14. Chapter 13

**RE-EDITED to be more visually appealing!**

**Happy Mother's Day! (If anyone reading this is a mother)... If you're not, please kindly disregard the last statement, and imagine a common greeting such as "Hey", "Hello", or "Salutations, my friend" in its place, though I'm hoping no one would say the last one and actually mean it, because frankly, that makes me want to give you a swirly... (do people still give/get those?). No joke.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! (But I do own a wonderful, amazing, beautiful, and SPECTACULAR mother!)**

* * *

><p><em>Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.<em>

* * *

><p>Chapter 13: Day 48<p>

_He's clutching the crinkled fabric of a dress shirt, and is resting his nose in the hollow of someone's throat, sniffing the fragrance the soft skin emits. He's licking his lips clean of a thick, sweet red liquid, body and head heavy with absolute warmth that he just wants to completely sink into and never leave._

His eyes drift open, blinking back the shining light of seven o'clock.

Even in his bed-ridden haze, he finds enough strength to quickly scan the plain white room. Akiko's gone, he realizes, relaxing his head back into his pillow, hoping he'll have a few more minutes to himself before Kyo is there to give him his pills (that he won't take, mind you). That's good.

It's the strangest feeling in the world - to wake up, and not feel tired.

* * *

><p>It's a quick pain - merely a sharp jab. Nothing like the previous aching hurt he'd experienced the night he'd attacked Takuma - stupidly ignoring the hunger that consumed his every being many days prior to that event, assuming... no, hoping it would just fade away like the memory of a dream, awakening with a strange empty feeling the morning after. Those groggy moments when you're scanning your mind, searching and searching to find something you're not sure is even there.<p>

Needless to say, it was nothing like that, though between the two agonies he'd experienced, Kaname thinks this most recent one is probably the closest. Not because it was unmemorable by any means, because frankly, it hurt like fuck, but mostly because the fact that if he tried really hard, he could probably make himself forget - after all, it wasn't anywhere near considered being a cherished memory.

It's a pointed sword in his gut - a muscle seizure. But though the actual pain is short-lived, the effect is long and lasting, settling heavily on his shoulders, stretching into his trembling back. It's weighted, and refuses to leave despite Kaname's attempts to shake the feeling aside and get dressed for class. It chains him to the bed, tight, chaffing shackles on his wrists and ankles, leaving invisible angry red marks in their wake.

The feeling tingles the skin of his neck, right above his pulse, and then digs, pushing down against the pumping vein, harder and harder until -

It becomes the worse grief he thinks he's ever experienced, though he has no idea why.

It becomes the horrible, aching feeling of being betrayed.

* * *

><p>As all good things have to come to an end, Zero's happy-go-lucky mood dissipates, replaced by his typical groggy grumpiness. By the time breakfast comes around, and he's showered and dressed, his body is not the least bit reluctant to remind him how exhausted it is, and how much it's lacking a certain vital essence of its being.<p>

Damn, he hadn't realize Akiko had taken so much.

And then, of course, life doesn't forget to do him the favor of fucking kicking him when he's already pretty far down - if he was even more down, he'd be in the ground, which coincidentally was where everyone at the Academy thought he was actually located.

And Zero isn't surprised that's it's Misa that does it, waltzing up to his table, breakfast tray in hand (without Akiko on her tail, thankfully) and is declaring in a voice far to loud for the topic she'd discussing, "You let her drink your blood."

Zero freezes and pales to a shade whiter than his near-translucent ivory skin already is. He looks up cautiously, biting his lip to keep all the things he's thinking from spewing out of his mouth.

Misa wouldn't possibly make a scene, right? After all, if he went down, so would her daughter...

However, he is surprised to see her lips twirk up in the corners, and her eyes to soften, and given that they're the same exact blue, her twinkling orbs have never looked so much like her daughter's.

"Thank you," she whispers - and it's fucking genuine. "I'm not sure how you managed to do it, considering what tight surveillance we're under - and trust me, if I could, I would have done the same but, I can't, and you did - and I'm not exactly sure why, but honestly, I could care less, as long as my daughter is safe, so thanks." She doesn't even take a breath throughout the entire rushed and incredibly awkward sentiment.

Zero flinches, pulling back, neck craning, and hands gripping the ends of the table so he wouldn't tumble backwards and break his neck. Okay, so it would be an understatement to say he was shocked by that. "How did you know?" he whispers, eyes wide and blinking.

She smiles sheepishly. "Akiko was being peppy. Or at least, more so than usual. And you - " she stops, scrunching her nose, trying to think of a kind way to put it. "Well frankly, you look like shit."

(She must have given up.)

"Thanks," Zero deadpans.

Grimacing, she settles down into the seat opposite Zero.

And he can't help it, "Say, where is the little spitfire, anyway?" The self-detested fond grin creeps its way up onto his face, lightening his purple irises, and making the skin on the edges of his eyes crinkle.

Misa smiles knowingly. "Showering, I think." She pauses. "With her, you can never be sure," she laughs. Then, her features shift, and she's suddenly an over-protective, always worried mother again. "Can I ask - "

"Yes."

She raises an eyebrow and runs her tongue over her teeth.

"I'm sorry," Zero chuckles, "Have you _met _your daughter?"

That, by itself, is explanation enough.

"She didn't bite you, right?" she asks, forehead wrinkled and eyes flickering towards every part of Zero's exposed skin nervously, and he severly doubts that any response he gives her is going to lighten the atmosphere.

"No," he answers, shaking his head. He hardly suspects he would have been able to handle that. Even with that moment so far behind, by years and years even, the memory is still as clear as day. _The faint aroma of lilac as she'd moved. The tiny goosebumps that rose on his skin when her warm breaths grazed his neck. Those two sharp, pointed pinpricks. The smell of rusted iron. The feeling of absolute terror. _"_No_," he repeats, only this time, he's reassuring himself.

"Good," Misa exhales, and Zero has to stop himself from doing the same.

He's not entirely sure why she cares so much, but he doesn't bother questioning it. If he did, he predicts the answer would be something along the lines of him 'stealing her innocence' or the same other bullshit she'd manage to obnoxiously come up with on the fly.

She awkwardly looks him over once more and inclines her head slightly to the right as if getting a better angle would make the nonexistant wound suddenly appear. "Where?" She brings her thumbnail between her teeth.

"My wrist," Zero states.

Another, "Good."

This time, however, he can't resist, remembering the expression he'd received in offering the girl his neck. "_Why?"_

"Excuse me?" Misa inquires, lying her hand back on the table, choosing to click her fingernails against it as her new nervous habit of the minute.

Zero flinches slightly and (though he'd never admit to it) blushes, ashamed and feeling immediately dumb. "Y'know," he mumbles, picking a spot on the wooden table that looks the least like a face, which is actually proving to be a difficult task. "Why not my neck? Wouldn't it be the easiest place?"

She stares at him silently, lips quivering and then, "Of course not!" And she's snorting, smacking her palm on the table and just about every other thing that could possibly draw attention to them, and makes Zero turn a shade redder.

This certainly hadn't been the scene he'd been expecting.

"And why not?" Zero exclaims, his pride already teetering dangerously close to nonexistance. "Isn't that normal?" he demands, thinking back to the numerous times he'd fed from Kaname. From Kaname's _neck_. With his teeth.

She glances at him oddly, much like the look Akiko had given him.

"The neck is one of the most sensitive of areas. To it, each and every touch is felt as if it was amplified by a thousand. To share one's blood through such a vulnerable place - " she shakes her head, and from the pinched expression on her face, it's obvious she's fighting back another bout of laughter, "Why, such an action would be considered one of the highest honors - second to that of feasting from a pureblood, of course. Even a creature as vile and beastly as a 'E could see that act as too..." tongue in cheek as she once again carefully selects the best-fitting word. "Intimate. So yes, it's definitely normal," she agrees, smirking,"For married couples."

A bang.

"Kiryuu-kun, are you okay?"

He doesn't dare lift his head from the table, lest she see the angry blush that's a blaring red on his cheeks.

_Fucking. Married. Couples._

Fucking. Kaname.

* * *

><p>Fucking. Kaname.<p>

Ruka loved the pureblood, she really did. But frankly, she wasn't really liking him that much anymore. Ever since Zero's 'alleged' death, he'd been damp and sour, and just plain unpleasant. Realistically, she knew it was cruel to be angry at him for such a reason. After all, he was slowly starving to death. But still, the whole I'm-dying-and-therefore-am-going-to-be-all-mopey-and-unusually-passive was getting on her nerves.

But that, she could have lived with. That, she could have swallowed in silent irritation, and gone about with her own business of trying to find a way to save his ass while he drug his feet to and from classes everyday.

However, this was too much.

"Kaname-sama," she hisses, shoving her bare arm closer to his tightly clenched lips, eyes flaring, "You _have _to take it."

"No," the pureblood stubbornly exclaims, and turns his head to the side, jaw clenched in restraint, away from the arm offered (shoved) in front of him.

"Kaname-sama," Ruka exhales, pulling her hand back and looking towards Yuuki, who was filling the position of her 'feeding aid' (as they had decided to call it) because her usual go-to-guys, Aidou and Kain, were too busy fucking around (not _literally_...she thinks...) and doing something she's sure isn't the least bit beneficial towards their cause. (Boys are so stupid.) She raises her eyebrows expectantly at the pureblood girl.

"Um - " said pureblood stutters, eyes wide, before gathering enough words to create a semi-suitable sentence, "Oh! Souen-senpai's right, Onii-sama. You haven't fed since last week."

Kaname's saddened wine orbs flit over to the speaking girl, and he is shaking his head before she is even finished. "It's no use. The hunger is getting worse, even with my feedings, and it will only continue to get worse. Why prolong the inevitable? Kiryuu-kun is dead, and soon, I will join him," his eyes narrow as he utters the 'deceased' Level D's name, and he returns his melancholy gaze to the vampire still standing over him, obstinate as always. "Ruka," he whispers, "Words cannot describe how much I appreciate what you've done for me - what _all _of you have done for me - but I've grown tired of my cowardice. The time has come for me to accept my fate, and to stop trying to prevent it. I know that now."

The two girls simply blink at him, statues under his powerfully convincing stare.

Despite the the lack of response, Kaname trudges on. "Which is why I must ask of you to leave. I fear, if you don't, I may do something I would most deeply regret."

Both are unmoving still, although, unlike Yuuki, Ruka is also unmoved.

"No," and had it been any other situation, even she wouldn't be able to find the courage to so blatantly deny a pureblood's command (err, request, technically). But it wasn't another situation. "Don't be daft, Kaname-sama. This is _far_ from a solution. There's still - " _time_, she wants to say, but, here, in this moment, she realizes a lie just won't suffice. That logistics wouldn't suffice. After all, what better way to detract from one bad idea, than with an even worse one.

And that's why, with a last fleeting and apologetic (okay, not really apologetic) glance at Yuuki, she says it. _It_. "Kiryuu-kun isn't dead."

* * *

><p>"Walk me to my room?" Akiko asks, peering up at him through her lashes, bottom lip slightly pouted, and blue eyes sparkling like ocean water. Being fed suited her well.<p>

Too bad, Zero didn't carry his aura of being fed from quite as gracefully.

"No," Zero says, eyes rolling. "Your room is right down the fucking hallway. You don't need help getting there, I promise."

"But Zero-kun," she immediately whines, dragging out the 'ooh' of kun, and stomping her foot childishly on the floor.

"I said no."

She crosses her arms and glares. "You're no fun."

"So I've been told," Zero mutters under his breath, chuckling bitterly, and turning away from the steaming Akiko, reaching for the door knob to his room.

"Wait," Akiko exclaims, interrupting the twisting motion of his wrist with her own hand. "Let's make a deal." She takes his silence as concurrence. "We'll race for it. First one to the dining hall and back wins, and if I win, you'll walk me to my room."

Zero's eyebrows raise and he looks back towards the girl. "And if I win?"

She grins. "I'll leave you alone for the whole night."

"And why should I agree to that?" Zero questions, smirking, because the thrilling seed of a challenge has already been planted in his head. You see, Zero's very competititve, and with just about everything.

Her cerulean irises brighten, transforming to a curious shade of stunning, near white, baby blue. "C'mon, Zero-kun," she mock pleads, going as far as to faux-kneel in front of him, hands clasped tightly in front of her, just below her nose. "When's the last time you did something _fun_?"

He's beginning to doubt his sanity because her statement seems awfully logical, and most certainly tempting.

"Make it tonight and all of tomorrow, and I'm in," he relents, immediately sensing that he'd probably soon regret the decision considering she was energized by his blood pumping through her veins, and he was quite weakened by his current, maddening hunger.

She flashes him a bright smile. "Deal!" Then, she lunges forward onto one leg, the other stretched behind her, foot planted slightly at an angle on the linoleum floor. She nods at him, motioning for Zero to mimic her actions. Once he's just barely in the proper placement, she's announcing, in her best impression of a booming male voice, "On your mark. Get set." She's off like a shot, making it halfway down the hallway before screaming over her shoulder, "Go!"

Zero jumps forth a few seconds later, recovering from the surprise."Cheater!" he yells, laughing, but it's no use because she's already reached and turned the corner.

With a quick exasperated sigh, Zero finds himself sprinting down the hallway, anyway.

* * *

><p>"If what you say is true - "<p>

"It is," Yuuki confirms, nodding furiously, happy to see the life that fills her brother's liquid eyes - merely a flash, but obviously there.

Coincidentally, Yuuki is saying this the exact same moment as Ruka's arguing, "Now, we're not positively sure..." and the latter trails off, staring awkwardly towards the other female vampire.

The pureblood prince regards them both for a second after that, hands clenching and unclenching in undecided determination, before finally, "Well then, if you'll excuse me, I have an important matter to attend to."

And as he is standing, and making his way out of his bedroom, neither girl can find it in themselves to argue, mainly because they both noticed it, and wouldn't dare do a single thing that might make it go away - that tiny spark of hope that twinkles in the very right corner of his eye.

* * *

><p>Okay, so Zero was beginning to think he was lost.<p>

- (Which was fucking ridiculous considering how long he'd been at this place...) -

He approaches the next corner quickly, nearly gliding around the juncture of the two walls, and -

_Fuck_.

Now he knows that he's lost, because at the very end of the long, stretching hallway, is a door very unlike the others. It's neither glass, nor plain white, nor wooden - it's a heavy, thick steel, and he recognizes it almost the second after it catches his eye.

A long time ago - a few months, he suspects - he'd fled the academy in the darkest hours of the night, with nothing but the clothes on his back and 'Rose tucked securely in his breast pocket. A long time ago, he'd traveled to the Hunter's Association on foot, feeling incredibly stupid when he had marched through the double doors and mumbled something awkward to the secretary at the front desk about his current dilemma and the letter he had received. A long time ago, he'd been transported via car (courtesy of the HA) to a small, seemingly broken-down building out in the middle of nowhere. A long time ago, he'd entered said building and this program through that very same door.

Which meant he could leave through that door, too.

And it was only a few yards away.

It's the fastest he's ever ran in his entire life, already panting from exertion when he reaches the exit. It's only then, breathing heavily and trembling, does he demur - hand hovering just an inch above the thick metal of the door handle. He's gazing into the large, bulky handle, and looking desperately for his own distorted image, but it isn't there. No, instead, he sees the mousy girl who sits three seats ahead of him, with frizzy burgundy curls and soft hazel eyes. He sees the tattoo-covered man with a kind face, who has always - since day one - found a way to be seated next to or by Misa. And then, he sees her, too - and the gruff elder they'd lost, and the boy, Hiroki, as well. He sees Akiko.

He imagines himself leaving at that very moment - he imagines all of those people, those images, painted a sickly shade whiter, emphasized by the unflattering gleam of the institute's overhead lights -

And he just can't fucking do it. He can't abandon them.

Before his actions can reflect his decision, there's a pinched, worried voice yanking him backwards guiltily, though he has done nothing wrong - "Don't touch that."

Zero immediately glues his arms to his sides innocently, and stares down at the source of the sound - Kyo. "I was just - "

He doesn't bother continuing the lie, because they both know it is one.

"The handle. It sets off an alarm when twisted, and lasts for about twenty minutes. Needless to say, your class members and the rest of the staff wouldn't be very pleased to sit through nearly half an hour of that incessant beeping. It really is quite unbearable," she chuckles airily, but it's obvious that she's trying to stress the importance of her words with the way she's standing rigidly and eyeing him sharply.

Zero blinks. "So what would happen if it was opened again before those twenty minutes were up?"

Kyo's eyes narrow into slits, and she's answering hesitantly, suspiciously, "I guess we'd never even know."

* * *

><p>It's a simple noise - the whooshing of a gust of wind - but Kaien knows better. He peeks up from his piles and piles of paper work that he'd been slaving over for at least four hours now, and through a few strands that escaped from his messy ponytail, deciding to hang irritably in his face, obscuring his vision of the person standing ominously in the doorway, and yet he can still sense it (he use to be a vampire hunter, after all) - because the figure is surrounded by an aura of strength and luxury.<p>

However, when he shoos the hairs away with a puff of air, he finds that, despite the atmosphere and his title, the pureblood leaning weakly against the door frame was far from the ideal candidate for such an aura. Frankly, Kaien doesn't think he's ever seen the vampire so frail and emaciated.

Regardless, it's not a very calming sight to behold. Not that he wasn't fond of Kaname - quite the contrary, actually - but having a member of the elite royal bloodline showing up in your office door way at an ungodly hour of the night (or possibly early morning, Kaien wasn't sure) did little to settle his nerves, that had already been on-edge for weeks.

But Kaien was a master at keeping his cool (well, when it actually mattered, he was), and his expression was complacently cheerful as it always was. "Kaname-kun! And to what do I owe this great pleasure?"

Kaname doesn't respond for a moment - simply staring off into space with distant wine-colored eyes, before his shoulders lift and tense, and he's turning his head towards the ex-hunter's desk.

"Cross-san, do you think me to be an ignorant imbecile?"

...And Cross' title of 'master' in terms of blanked reactions was hereby revoked because his eyes are wide and popping, and he's visibly flinching. "Of course not," he quickly recovers, but it's already too late, and he's once again reminded of his horrified worries at Zero's funeral, when he'd received that look of distinctly pure hatred.

"Really now? How...very interesting," the pureblood drawls. He's advancing further into the room now, taking full advantage of the weakness he'd spotted not even a minute ago, and though his form is slightly more slender than usual, and nearly trembling, his walk still resembles the crawling prowl of a hungry lion. "Then, I'm sure you'd be more than willing to answer me one simple question out of respect, if not for the sake of our dear friendship."

"Kaname-kun..." Kaien trails off, eyebrows furrowed in concern, not even able to find the words to prevent the calamity that is about to occur. "I can't - "

"Is Kiryuu Zero dead?"

Silence.

"Is Kiryuu Zero _dead_?" Kaname repeats, dark irises flickering with tiny specks of angry red.

Kaein's hand clenches. "So it's true," he murmurs incredulously, "You really let him do it, _didn't you_?" He shakes his head in disbelief. "You let a Level D _bite _you - let one feed from your very own blood."

"That's _besides the point_," Kaname growls, teeth flashing a sinister too-white white, reminding all his prey just exactly _how red _their blood would look coloring them. "Just answer my question - _Is Kiryuu-kun dead_?"

Kaien inhales, and it's choppy and stuttered. "I _can't_."

And in a single second, he is pressed against the wall with an elbow digging in harshly to his throat, holding up his entire body and suspending his feet a few inches in the air to where they're just barely hovering above the floor.

"My body may be weak," Kaname hisses into his ear, and because his head is so far leaned into his shoulder, Kaien can't actually see his face, but he knows a sadistic smirk must be stretching across it. "But I can still rip your throat out in a heart beat."

"I can't - "

Kaname's hand crawls forward, skimming his chilled skin against Kaien's nervously overheated and sweaty one, until his fingers are catching the edges of his neck, sqeezing. "Badump," the vampire purrs, and Kaien's heart clenches in fear, especially when he is pulled from and slammed back into the wall. But this time, thankfully, it's without Kaname, who is now a safe distance across the office.

"Then I guess I'll have to see for myself." And he's leaving.

* * *

><p>"What the <em>fuck <em>are you doing here?"

"You lost the bet, remember?" Akiko grins. "And I'm _thirsty_!"

_Great_, Zero sighs, sitting up in his bed with a groan, and rolling up his sleeve.

* * *

><p>The stables weren't actually that far from the Academy's main building, but, under the soft glow of the moon, the distance seemed to increase tenfold - stretching into long, dark expanses of grass wet with dew, and winding, curling paths that appeared to have neither a beginning nor an end.<p>

Thanfully, there's a tell-tale patch of less-grown deep green and clumped, muddy dirt that Kaname is able to locate under the nonexistant shade of very leafy tree.

Sucking in a quick breath, the pureblood drops down onto his knees, and brings his hand to the very surface of the damp brown soil. His eyes are drifting closed - hoping that by doing so, he can ignore the initial disgust at the crime against every last bit of his morality he was committing - and he's coiling his fingers into the soft ground, imagining the roots, rocks, dirt, and insects that made up the underground rising up and up until -

The earth quakes beneath him, and Kaname stands up limply and steps back, watching as a solid black is pushing out of the mudded grass and raising higher - stoping only once it's completely unsubmerged.

It's a coffin.

In a speedy, fluid motion, Kaname flicks his wrist and watches, cringing in anticipation as the heavy lid flies off a few feet away as if it was merely a piece of thin paper.

And it's empty. Empty minus a single vial - so incredibly tiny - that's colored a rusty dark red, obviously painted on the inside with it.

Kaname's hand outstretches, palm out wide and waiting as he wills the glass container over. When it's finally in his hand, he finds that it's almost the same length and width as his thumb.

Bringing it up to his nose, he sniffs, already having a few suspicions as to what's inside the bottle, and now, they're confirmed.

_Blood_.

With anxious eyes and haste, Kaname sends Zero's empty coffin straight back into the ground, and forces the grass to stretch over and replace the former green blades, and races off towards the fountain, all the while holding the vial full of dried blood in between his thumb and his pointer finger. He quickly unscrews the lid when he can finally reach the babbling sprays, and sticks the opened container underneath a steady streams. The glass comes back still tinted dark red, but now filled with a clear-pink that smells _fucking spectacular._

He tips his head back, and brings the small bottle to his parted lips, and he drinks - though it barely holds enough drops to actually drink.

Yet, it's one of the most satisfying things he's had since forever.

And he needs more. He needs Zero.


	15. Chapter 14

**RE-EDITED to be more visually appealing!**

**Okay...s o I suck, and I'm sorry this freaking chapter took so long... I really have no valid excuse except for the fact that I'm just a horrible person.**

**However, I did upload my first oneshot, ****Just Enough****, and I encourage you all to go read it. (I know, I know. You're all thinking "Excuse me, bitch, but what the fuck kind of apology is that?"... again, I'm sorry...)**

**Also, I'm one hundred percent positive that the next chapter will come out quickly, considering that I already have like three-fourths of it done! A wayyyyy more acceptable form of apology, right? **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, yadayadayada...**

* * *

><p><em>Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.<em>

* * *

><p>Chapter 14: Day 49 pt. 1<p>

The mangled cry that calls him forth from his deep slumber belongs to, he discovers when he opens his dreary eyes, an image far worse.

The air is putrid and rank, reeking of rusted iron and the acidic scent of bile, coating each breath Zero intakes with a thickness that sticks to his tongue and clumps in his throat, leaving him with a sour aftertaste and the desperate need to empty his stomach. The smell is ghastly.

... But the image is horrifying.

In the very first few seconds of his assessment, he thinks he's dreaming, because it's a face - the face of a child - and it's painted with shades of red, some a running, vivid scarlet, another a darker, crusted maroon. It's a face splashed with blood.

Splashed. Not covered. Merely _splashed_.

He knows he's not dreaming now too because it's not the face he recognizes from countless nights of restless slumber, but it is a face he certainly recognizes.

"Akiko," Zero breathes, eyes widening, and he shifts alertly into a sitting position, reaching his hand out towards the red face until he's grazing her soft skin - his fingers feel wet. "What the fuck happened?"

She grimaces in pain and wraps her arms protectively over her stomach. "I threw up."

_I threw up._

He knows he's heard that somewhere before. And not just somewhere - here. He's heard it here.

"You - " Zero begins, eyebrows knitting together. "Blood?" he mouths dubiously. "You threw up blood?"

Nodding, Akiko points to a few feet away from his bed where he can trace the faint outline of a dark red puddle on the cold tiled floor.

"Zero-kun," she whispers, drawing his attention back to her and her frail, shivering body. Her eyes are blue and ice cool with fear, and Zero can't help but note how shocking that blue is next to red. "What's happening to me?"

* * *

><p>"Senri-kun."<p>

The half-pureblood looked up from the aged book in his hands. It's spine is so worn and weak that he's afraid it might fall apart under his touch, and the pages emit a stale smell, colored yellow and even brown in some places. If he's surprised by who he sees standing in the doorway, he doesn't let on.

"Ruka-chan." They hardly considered each other friends, but there was no way Shiki was going to refer to her by her last name. Fuck proper etiquette.

"What are you..." she bites her lip in anxiety, and it's made quite obvious that she's trying to hide something - and is failing miserably. "Doing," she inhales sharply, "Here?"

Shiki shakes his head, dropping down to sit in the chair - the one Yuuki had been seated in when she slaved countless hours of thousands of words - and leans back. "Why exactly were you looking up blood bonds?"

Typically, that's one of the things people liked about Shiki - he was straight and to-the-point. However, in this situation, it wasn't such an amiable quality. Especially for Ruka, who freezes. Recovers. "For Kaname-sama, of course. I was researching ways to help him."

"And did you?"

A blink. "Did I what?"

Shiki raises his eyebrows. "Find a way to help him."

Her mouth opens, but then it's slamming shut. Her hands unclench and clench. Her face shifts to an unpleasant grimace.

"Ruka-chan," Shiki says, voice very softer now. "Don't you think I deserve to know? Don't we all deserve to know?"

She's nodding numbly, eyes narrowed and pointed in indecision. She sighs finally, head raising, staring him straight and confidently in the eye. "Yes. Yes, you do."

* * *

><p>"One moment," Takuma calls blearily to the rapping at his door. With a groan, he heaves himself up, and stumbles out of bed, stubbing his toe on absolutely nothing, and nearly tripping into the door because he can't see a single thing. And come on, weren't vampires supposed to be able to see in the fucking dark, or something? They <em>were<em> creatures of the night, after all, and it would certainly make things a whole lot easier, that's for sure.

He twists the brass knob, peeking his head out from behind the door.

"Shiki," he grins, eyes brightening and face coloring to a pleasant pink at the sight of the spiky-haired male. "Right _now_?" he asks, trying to not sound as pathetically excited as he actually was.

Shiki's gray-blue eyes twitch, and the corners of his mouth lift upwards into an amused smile. Smirking, he inclines his head to the side, and gives a quick nod to something far off to the right. To Takuma's horror, a figure is emerging from the shadows and approaching the door. Only when it's a few inches behind Shiki is he actually able to see that it's Ruka, light brown hair a tangled mess around her heart-shaped face - despite being ashamed at thinking such a horrible thing, he can't help but wonder with distaste when was the last time she'd brushed it.

A single eyebrow is raised, and her tongue is running across her teeth with a condescending clicking sound. "'Right now'?" She repeats, catching Takuma's gaze in her own and flashing a toothy-grin. "Tell me, Ichijou-kun, what exactly was it that you were referring to when you made that statement? And at such an ungodly hour too, hmm?"

His cheeks warm and he throws a glare in her direction before turning back to Shiki, ignoring the red-headed noble's shit-eating grin. "_Why _are you _here_?"

"Oh, believe me, I'd much rather be doing _that_, " Shiki assures him disappointedly, barely smiling. His face then shifts and falls, expression muted and grave."But I'm afraid we have a more pressing matter at hand."

Takuma frowns, eyes wide in concern. "What?"

Ruka pushes her way forward and into the conversation. She grabs for Takuma's hand, pulling him out of his room and into the dark hallway. "Kaname's missing - "

"He's what - "

"Hold on," Shiki orders, slapping a hand onto the blonde's shoulder, holding him in place, saving them the time it would take to track down the noble if he'd decided to run off and do something rash. "She's not finished."

After a silent pause and it's apparent that Takuma was going to cooperate, Ruka continues, "We need to have a meeting with the others immediately. It's a _very_ long story."

"Kiryuu-kun's alive and Kaname ran away to find him," Shiki monotones.

Takuma gasps. "Wait, what - "

"I said," Ruka hisses, "_**It's a long story**__._"

* * *

><p>It had taken several attempts to convince Akiko to go back to her room, and to leave him with this unfortunate situation, but when Zero finally did, he realized just how much he wished he hadn't. After all, having a puddle of blood decorating the floor of his room probably wouldn't bode that well for his reputation.<p>

And sure enough, when seven o'clock rolls around and the lights flicker on, revealing the dark crimson liquid painting the ground, Zero begins to actually comprehend just what he's gotten himself into. If he was caught just like this, what would happen?

First of all, blood was a definite no-no, and the fact that it was in very plain sight in his room probably wasn't all that good either, he suspects. And then, the fact that it was his own blood that someone else had consumed and then regurgitated back up wasn't going to work in his favor.

He recalls the shy boy, Hiroki, who Hisao claimed had tried to attack a nurse, but he never specifically said the young vampire had fallen. It was insinuated, but Zero was beginning to feel like he couldn't trust the teacher's word. Of course, he'd felt that way since day one, but to be frank, Zero didn't trust a lot of people to the point where he'd basically lost faith in his own cynical judgement. After all, he'd initially disliked Akiko, whom he now would (and did) help at the sake of his own wellbeing. He'd disliked Misa too, and she turned out to not be a complete and total bitch.

He'd hated Kaname - and depite how reluctant he is to admit it, he doesn't anymore. Or, at least, he thinks he doesn't. Now, he wouldn't go so far as to say he liked the guy - he was still the same privileged and overconfident asshole as he was before. But, nowadays, he couldn't find it in himself to dislike him. After all, he was responsible for a large portion of why Zero had managed to survive for the last five months. The tiniest trace of his blood remaining in Zero's system was probably the only reason he was even _still_ alive right _now_. At the same time, he's still not entirely clear on the pureblood's motivations...

He decides to just drop the subject altogether, considering he still had an unexcusably large amount of spilled blood in his room, and -

He hears the jingling of metal keys - something Zero now knows is all a show from the numerous times Akiko's opened his 'locked' door - and his body immediately tenses in time for the door to swing open cheerily, with Kyo standing right behind it, her typically happy expression presented as clearly as she can manage.

When she sees him there, when she sees it there, her face morphs to one of wide-eyed shock, and then to one of complete and utter fear, and at first he thinks - no, _knows_ - it's of him.

"You didn't," she breathes, head shaking, fingers trembling as she drops the useless keys on the ground with a soft clang. "Tell me you didn't."

"I _didn't_," Zero appeases, and for someone reason, she believes him, exhaling a large, relieved puff, and shutting the door quietly behind her.

Her lips part, and she's responding, calmly, "Then why - "

"It's my blood."

She looks taken aback for a second, and Zero almost finds it humorous that even she, who really doesn't know him all that well, finds the idea of him sharing blood surprising. "... Who?"

Zero's fist clench, and his eyes flare, once again reminded of the situation they'd been thrown into. Reminded of just whose fault it really was. "The girl down the hallway. She's blonde and barely comes up to my stomach - "

"I know who you're talking about," Kyo murmurs sadly, biting her lip. Her shoulders slump and her face visibly falls.

Which couldn't at all be a good sign.

With sudden anxiety, Zero pushes forward until he's merely a few inches away from the melancholy red-headed nurse. "Is she..." he can't bear to finish that train of thought, and chooses to switch to, "Will she be okay?" Though, her attitude has already pretty much given him the answer, and it's most certainly not the one he's looking for.

Kyo shakes her head. "Her body's rejecting your blood, and she's obviously already consumed too much for it to simply pass. What happened there," - she's nodding towards the crimson lake - "Was her body's way of fighting the invading blood, and she'll continue to do that until all traces of it are gone."

"But then she'll be okay, right?" Zero asks, eyes pleading for the response Kyo knows she won't be able to give him. "Once it's all gone?"

Shaking her head again, she brings her still quivering hand to her lips. "No," she mumbles into her flesh. "It's already spread into the rest of her system, and the only way to get rid of all of it is to - "

"Lose it. Lose all of it. Even her own," Zero mouths.

Kyo's eyes flutter closed and she breathes heavily. When she opens them, she replying, "Yes."

"Fuck!" Zero screams, slapping his palm to his forehead. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He throws his head back, tearing at his silver strands furiously. When he looks back to Kyo, his typically lilac irises are a blazing red-violet. "And just _why_ is she rejecting my blood in the first place? I'm pretty sure that goes against a vampire's nature - " he stops, eyes widening, lips tensing.

Going against nature... Meaning it wasn't happening naturally.

_I threw up_.

_Hovering over the infirmary's toilet, lips pressed tightly together, trying to restrain another painful heave. Staring into the acidic and metallic smelling mixture of deep red. Wiping the color off the corner of his mouth._

_I'll just tell the pharmacist to lower your dosage._

_A fleeting and crazed gaze, feet squealing against a linoleum floor, flailing limbs of protest._

_Don't - the pills - lie._

"You - "

"Kiryuu-kun," Kyo whispers nervously, catching the angered glint in his eyes, raising her hands innocently. "Just calm down for a second, and we can - "

"Those _fucking_ 'vitamins'! Of course it would be them! How could I have not seen this coming?" Zero spits, kicking the air.

"Kiryuu-kun," she tries again, backing up slightly.

"No!" he yells, advancing to make up for her retreat. "_Fuck you_! Fuck all of you! It was a fucking trick all along, wasn't it? Help us, my ass! You're all just screwing us over! And for what? The sick satisfaction of getting to see us willingly starve ourselves to death?" He forces her into the wall, palms smacking onto both spaces on either side of her head, merely an inch away. "You lured us in here with false promises, greedily feeding off of what's left of the little hope the people here have, spooned us some bullshit spiel about how we're all part of a little fucking team and how _important_ it is that we work together and trust each other, and then you shove this poison down our throats and sit back and watch, waiting to see who goes fucking insane and who just drops dead!"

If he hadn't stopped taking those fucking pills, he would have been in the same position as Akiko right now. If he had just fucking told her to do the same, she might not _be_ in this position right now. And all of this - he realizes - this entire thing is _their _fault, not his. And for once in his life, he's not just pissed for himself, but for Akiko, too. For Misa. For everyone - because they _were_ a team. He wasn't getting screwed over alone, for a change, and frankly, he wasn't going to sit down and take it, not with everyone else's lives at stake.

Kyo's sobbing now - big, fat, guilty tears running down her flushed cheeks. "You have to understand, Kiryuu-kun," she cries, "I didn't know it would end up like this! How could I? They don't tell us anything! I just do as I'm told and - "

"I _do_ know," Zero states calmly, and this grave expression, Kyo finds is far more frightening than the out-of-control mad one he had a few seconds ago.

She blinks, shrinking back as far into the wall as possible. "You do?"

"Yes," Zero grits out bitterly. "Which is why you're going to help me - because I _know _you don't want to be held responsible for the death of an innocent girl." He brings his face so close to hers that she has to strain to keep her eyes from crossing.

"But how - "

"We're going to get everyone out of here, do you here me? We're going to help them escape so the girl can have a chance - so she can find someone willing to help her." He pauses, studying her tear-streaked face for a second. "Don't worry, you won't get in trouble. Those bastards won't even know you did a fucking single thing. All you have to do is relay a message to _every single _occupied room, okay? Easy as that. Then, you can go about your business like nothing happened, with your hands nowhere near as stained as your conscience, and you can leave the rest to me."

Her eyebrows knit together and she sniffles. "But what - "

"It doesn't matter," Zero interrupts. "All you need to know is what I'm about to tell you, okay?"

She nods.

"Repeat this, word for word, to the others: Don't hesitate. When the time comes, run."

Another nod, and a shallow breath.

"Now give me your keys," he demands, hand open and waiting. She demurs, but then reluctantly hands them over. "Look," he sighs, feeling sufficiently awkward. After all, as previously established, Zero was horrible with crying people. Especially girls. "I know you're not a bad person. Err, not really. You, uh, left my door unlocked for a reason. You didn't report me when I almost attacked you." He smiles half-heartedly, though it's short-lived. "Now go, and do as I've told you to."

When she's finally left the room, he emits a long and heavy sigh.

Fuck, it was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p>"I'm not sure where to even begin," Yuuki murmurs self-consciously, trailing off, and peeking meakly over the hand she had placed in front of her mouth.<p>

"Yuuki-hime," Ruka sighs, rubbing her temples, far too exhausted to even put up her usual effort at snarky cruelty. "Just tell them what you told me."

"Oh, okay." She nods, biting her lip. "Okay," she tries again, and Ruka swears she's about to have a conniption. "Right."

* * *

><p>Breakfast was far more tense than usual, and all eyes were on Zero. Not that they typically weren't on him before this day, because they certainly were. After all, he was an infamous traitor to his own kind, or something fucking ridiculous like that. No, today was different. The glances weren't judgemental, angry, betrayed, or even curious.<p>

They were an odd mixture of wary and excited - if such a concoction even existed.

Most food was untouched, which no doubt made the cafeteria workers confused, but the hardly looked suspicious. Relieved would be better way to describe it, and Zero's suddenly worried that perhaps it's because they realized they can serve the surplus leftovers again for tomorrow's meal.

But then again, if things turned out according to plan, there wouldn't be a 'tomorrow's meal'.

An empty tray is slammed down on Zero's empty table, and the vampire blinks up, dazed. A pair of squinted ocean blue eyes regard him with a frown.

"Abe-san," he breathes, alarmed, and he finds himself looking around anxiously to see if any of the staff is particularly intrigued in their miniscule interaction.

"Just _what_ are you planning, Kiryuu-kun?" Misa growls quietly, earning a nervous hush from the silver-haired hunter. "I'm not kidding. Where are you intending to go with this whole thing, huh?"

He shakes his head, and motions her to move closer with his index finger. She huffs and plops down onto the table's bench, leaning forward and awaiting his reply. He sighs, rubbing at his dreary eyes. "Misa, I need a favor."

She flinches, brow raising. "Now hold on, hunter, I don't want any part in this mutiny - "

"Akiko's sick," Zero interjects, grimacing at his own words, hating the bitter taste they leave when they slide off his tongue with such disgusting ease. It appears he's gotten quite good at delivering, and receiving, for that matter, bad news. "I know you know that," he tests, scrutinizing her rather placid reaction, besides a tiny intake in breath. "And we both also know she doesn't have much time left. So, do you want to save her or not?"

For once, he's greeted with silence from this frazzled, overbearing mother. A moment worthy documenting, that's for sure.

Her head drops, obscuring her expression from his vision, and her shoulders begin to visibly shake. She scrapes her fingernails across the table top, and kicks at the leg of it with her nervous trembling. When she looks up, her cheeks are a warm red, and are soaked. "Yes," she croaks.

"Then I'm positive you'll have no further objections."

* * *

><p>"We have to do something!" Aidou's exclaiming, jumping up from his chair, face red and eyes blazing. Yuuki starts at his jerked movement, moving even more off the edge of her chair as she was before, balanced haphazardly at the end to the point where any tid bit of misfortune would surely knock her onto the floor for sure. Ruka, oddly enough, places a reluctant hand on the ansty pureblood's shoulder, squeezing and patting awkwardly with her best depiction of what comforting a worried person would be.<p>

Kain shakes his head then, purposefully avoiding the young princess and her captivating melancholy gaze made up of chocolate watery eyes and trembling pink lips, feeling perverse for even witnessing the intimate emotions displayed so plainly across her face. Instead, he chooses to settle on Aidou, reprimanding him with a fierce look, before calmly stating. "We can't."

"Can't?" the curly blonde noble screeches, spinning around to face his cousin. "And why the fuck not?"

Kain leans back into the wall behind him, with every intention to answer, grazing his palm against the smooth, flowered wallpaper that covered the rough dry wall underneath it. Such a misleadingly delicate package...

A cough from the pureblood, and she is rising, smiling back kindly at a shocked Ruka, waving her hand off with a warm one of her own. Then, she turns back to face dismayed group of vampires before her, wiping at a single stray tear that paints her flushed cheeks. She inhales slowly, blinks, and exhales in a long puff. Her shoulders straighten, and her neck stretches, and her arms fall determinedly to her side. The moist wetness that blurs her eyes seems to evaporate as her vivid trademark muddy red comes into full view once again.

"Because," she states, voice unwavering, "What else could we possibly do?"

It isn't a command - not in the least - but somehow, it seems to shut Aidou up.

* * *

><p>He's racing down the hallway, the faint image of a game of chase still filling his imagination, adding much needed vivid coloring to the boring white walls that surround him. He doesn't let up, barely slowing as he turns each corner until he's finally there, standing in front of the door - the way out. His way out. This time, he doesn't hesitate, grabbing the handle and yanking it open with every bit of strength in his weak body.<p>

Instantly, as expected, the warning sirens go off, blowing loudly into his ears and echoing down the suddenly long isle. He can already hear the clamor of frantic footsteps down linoleum, and he makes to release the handle, and pull back.

His hand, however, holds on to it as tightly as ever, and to no avail, he attempts to unclench his fist again.

_You could still make it,_ the sinister hunger inside of him purrs. _Leave the others_.

And for a moment, he imagines it. Ripping off the lock that had kept him caged in for all this time. Abandoning his classmates and saving his own ass. Returning home - the only thing he had right now that was close enough to consider a home - and walking straight up to that arrogant pureblood, and digging his aching fangs into his silky pale neck, drinking and drinking until everything else - everything that had happened here - was simply a faint dream. Oh, what he would do to forget -

His fingers unlock and he retreats quickly, throwing himself against the wall, scraping his fingernails against it's rough and chipped paint, because he couldn't. He just fucking couldn't.

A pair of strong, muscled arms are encircling him, and he almost can relax into the embrace. Can pretend that it's someone else - anyone else. But then, he can hear the urgent calls and can feel the suffocating restraint around his wrists, and he remembers where he is once again, butting against the body attempting to constrain him.

Zero growls, thrashing as he's pulled away from the wall now by many sets of arms, swinging his head around, trying to see past the sea of white coats. There's no way it's going to work, he soon realizes with horror, unless -

He lashes put, snapping his sharp white teeth at every inch of skin he sees, smiling despite the situation at the various yelps of anger he receives, and it's enough - enough for him to push past the crowd, and part the frightened sea, sprinting off towards whatever hallway led him farthest from where he was now, panting heavily, and flashing his fangs at every nurse or doctor he passes. He curses under his breath as he detects, out of the corner of his eye, the staff making to follow.

He only stops when he's sure he's the farthest he can go, when he knows he's at least a good ten minutes away from that very same door, and when he does, he halts, falling to his knees in sobbing inhales, clutching at his stuttering heart. The rushed footsteps behind him stop as well, and he can hear their owners' sharp breaths, too.

"Sir, what are you - " a single voice questions, anxiously, and before Zero can even realize what he's referring to, a white clad leg is moving into his vision, and Zero looks up, blinking back the sweat that lines his brow and drips into his eyes.

Hisao stares down at him.

_A flash of ice blue and angry red_.

"Kiryuu-kun," he clucks, head shaking like he's admonishing a child. "You were doing so _well_." He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "But now look what you've done!" He points flippantly behind the huffing Level D to the crowd of the also huffing staff. "Well, I hope you're not expecting any special treatment, because that goes against my method of teaching..." Hisao trails off, leaning in closer to the hunter. "Alright," he grins, "Maybe just a little, but only because you've been a true joy in the classroom. Still, I'm afraid you can't escape your fair helping of punishment. That would be entirely too unfair. Don't you agree, Kiryuu-kun?"

Zero glowers.

* * *

><p><em>"Then I'm positive you'll have no further objections."<em>

_Misa breathes and nods. "None."_

_"Good," Zero grins bitterly. "Then I trust you'll do exactly as I tell you."_

_Another, "Yes."_

_Zero doesn't bother with pleasantries. Such trivial words would be wasted in this type of conversation. "I'm about to give you a set of master keys - they open each and every door, do you understand?"_

_Her eyes widen. "Ye - yes, of course, but - "_

_"Grab Akiko first, okay. Her door won't even be locked so it should be easy. Make sure she's the first one to go, even before yourself, though I'm sure that goes without saying. Then, I want you to unlock all the other doors and let those people out, too."_

_"All of them," she chokes, head shaking. "I can't. There won't possibly be enough time, and I'm not even sure where we're to get out, anyway. Kiryuu-kun, this plan won't work. It - "_

_"Listen," the silver-haired vampire pleads, "Listen." He grabs for her hands, and she jumps at the cool metal that touches her palm. She tries to pull it away, but his grip is tight and desperate. "There's a door four hallways down from Akiko's room. That's the exit. It'll be easy to find," he chuckles but without feeling, "Trust me. And as for time... don't worry about that. I'll buy you some. It'll be just enough, so you'll have to hurry."_

_Lips part, and Misa squints. "Wait, but what about you?"_

_"Don't worry about that either," he laughs, his eyes a still and blank lilac slate. "When you hear the alarm, wait an extra minute and then take that as your cue. And don't you dare fuck this up. Everyone here is counting on you."_

_"You - " she gasps in realization. "Surely, you're not - "_

_"I said not to worry about it, so stop already. What's done is done." He looks off to the tables of vampires. The many nameless faces of nobodies that mean absolutely nothing to Zero. So many people that he barely gives a flying fuck about, but are still way more important than his single existance. The girl with violet-black hair could someday be a mother. The man covered in tattoos could someday be a father. And sure, maybe one day, he could be a parent too, but what's one parent over twenty parents?_

_What's one life over twenty lives?_

_"Just promise me something," Zero whispers calmly, refusing to tear his gaze from the multitude of different faces. Out of the corner of his eye, though, he sees Misa nod - sees the 'anything' mouthed on her lips. "Don't waste any time on me. Get the hell out of here. Don't look back."_

_"Zero, I'm not the most selfless person - I will _never be_. Rest assured, that __**won't **__be a problem."_

* * *

><p>"Kiryuu-kun," Hisao repeats, with a teasing smirk.<p>

The Level D spits, watching as it hits the teacher square in the right eye, a faint pink no doubt colored by blood. "Fuck. You."

Hisao growls, his composed mask flung to the corner along with Zero's wad of hateful spit, and he brings his fist down onto Zero's head.

The scene before him fades to black.


	16. Chapter 15

**RE-EDITED to be more visually appealing!**

**Warning: detailed descriptions of gore, disturbing themes/images, foul language**

**DON'T IGNORE THE WARNING.**

**Smileyface.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

* * *

><p><em>Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.<em>

* * *

><p>Chapter 15: Day 49 pt. 2<p>

It's as simple as this - the knowledge of needing a warm, heavy jacket on a chilly January night, and before leaving the house, grabbing one off a hanger in the hallway closet. As instinctive as the raw feeling of hunger, and the idea of finding a source of food to quench that basic human need and a roaring stomach's demands. As undeniable as the belief that actions are caused by and set into motion by other actions, a never ending domino effect.

It's classic, like black stilettos or a white collared dress shirt; the predictable, "You're welcome," to every customary, "Thank you."

_It's just plain obvious_; a bright red sign, decorated with the bolded letters _S_, _T_, _O_, and _P, _placed directly in front of a dead end; a "Hello, my name is," stickered name tag taped underneath a plastic and pinned one; an explicit poster marked with a NC-17 rating in the bottom righthand corner.

But somehow, he is still shocked to the juncture of trepidation and bemusement.

Zero blinks his dreary eyes closed, ignoring the awaiting blackness that surges forward every time he attempts such a motion, and forces them back open with a quick snap.

He can sense the dismal and dipilated state of the room surrounding him - the walls are cracked and peeling with the putrid staleness of age. Sparkling in the dim light, tiny dust particles float about, past his opened and panting mouth, and onto the tip of his dry, cotton-thick tongue.

_**Punishment**_, his abused and muddled brain cackles.

The air is silent besides his tiny gasps that pierce haphazardly at the quiet, echoing throughout his entire being, particularly his ear which instinctively twitches with each puff, trained to perk towards the source of any questionable sound. He briefly wonders if ears could cave in on themselves, but quickly dismisses the ridiculous thought, settling on a far more pressing matter, like the horrid, stinging ache in his leg, and the pair of blood-stained teeth knawing viciously on it.

He tries to move the wounded limb once, twice, but it does not respond, just naively rests there as it is cut and torn down to the bone by the monster's sharp incisors. The flames of pain lick maliciously at his torn flesh and exposed muscle, to the point where the burning almost really does feel like fire.

"Let go, you sick motherfuckers," he cries, throat hoarse with unsatisfied thirst and exhaustion.

He wills the frozen appendage to make some sort of movement but it simply rests on the cold, stone floor, as limp and useless as its twin, who's actually in worse condition than the other - twisted into an unnatural and certainly not comfortable angle, a set of ruthless fangs also puncturing its pliable flesh.

He's never experienced such a hurt in his entire existance. Not only are his senses overwhelmed by the agitating and horrifying sensation of bone scraping against bone as the disgusting creatures at his feet lick his gory and nearly unrecognizable legs, but also the startling feeling of all his blood being drawn slowly away from his body (very unlike his experience with Akiko) and into the veins of another.

Zero could literally feel the life being sucked out of him - could see it being swallowed and stomached by several pairs of crimson eyes.

He tries to speak again, but the disgusting cacophany of slurping, chewing, and crunching is too deafening, bouncing off each and every eroded stone, until it decides to settle as close to his eardrum as possible. His measly and gravily voice would hardly be heard over such an earsplitting tune, so he stifles his moot sob, and grits his teeth in a helpless kind of anguish. Although he knew that his muteness would do him no good, he hardly suspected pitiful cries could achieve much more. Besides, there was a certain honor found in withstanding death without complaint. Surely, even a beast could appreciate that... of course, it appeared that the only thing these beasts could truly appreciate was the warmth of his blood in their gullet - or at least, he could conject from their hearty moans of pleasure and satisfaction.

_That's right, you bastards,_ Zero bitterly thought, _Eat up. Enjoy it while you can - it won't last you very long._

Because he knew. He understood the all-consuming and overpowering desire that just couldn't be slaked. He lived it. He remembered the feeling of being empty, even when you were so full you were sick; the constant urge to drink and drink until the fire in your throat was extinguished and the grumbling in your gut was silenced. He recognized that look in their eyes - the one that spoke the truth, that just screamed indifference. It hindered your judgement and jumbled your memories until the only thing you truly could remember was your need. No one else mattered. A long-time friend was no longer significant as even a speck of dirt on glass. A doting mother was, simply put, a meal.

Most importantly, he could limpidly recall that burning self-hatred that, although shrouded by a mask of greed and hunger, was evident. He knew that behind those stained teeth and that forked tongue, lied a broken and ashamed soul, horrified by its sinful actions.

However, this empathetic perspective could not survive for very long, especially when he hears the nauseating cracking snap that accompanies a broken bone, or the shock of scathing pain that jolts from his fractured shin, right up his spine.

Zero muffles a wail, instead emitting a tiny choke. He can't help but find it slightly funny that even in such a state, the hurricane of pain dominating all of his senses, he can still distinguish each and every sensation and where it was coming from. He can feel the differences as if he was carefully wafting the scents of expensive wines. The Level E at his right leg is younger - vampiric age-wise - Zero observes. His bites are haphazard and less defined - new to this lifestyle, and less conscious of how much he is wasting. Zero chuckles darkly at the thought. Never once did he expect to be angry at a vampire for, no, not drinking his blood, but for drinking it so poorly. Zero was sure that even he, in his current deliriously starving mindset, could do a better job.

The 'E on his left leg was obviously more advanced and accustomed to this ritual. His bites were spot-on and planned, placed accordingly at major veins and arteries, but somehow, this made them even more harsh. With a fiery determination, perhaps? The vampire knew what he wanted so he took it. Cut-throat, but clever, or as clever as an Level E could get.

The 'E's at his arms, stomach, and chest were much harder to comprehend. They had been there for a while, longer than the ones at his legs were, and so he could hardly feel anything through the freezing numbness that left those parts of his body weightless - a definite contrast to what he was actually experiencing.

Zero also couldn't help but find the irony in his predicament. Why was it that of all the places to ignore, the parasites chose his _neck_? Realistically, Zero recalled his conversation with Misa and his afformentioned discovery.

_The neck is one of the most sensitive of places. To it, each and every touch is felt as if it was amplified by a thousand. To share one's blood through such a vulnerable place, why, such an action would be considered one of the highest honors, second to that of feasting from a pureblood. Even a creature as vile and beastly as a 'E could see that act as too... intimate. So yes, it's definitely normal... for married couples._

He also didn't fail to recollect his initial horror at the statement. Oh, the countless times had he had fed from Kaname's neck!

Why is it that he, who hadn't even fallen, couldn't see the intimacy in his feedings with the pureblood, when a monster as heartless as an 'E could? He began to worry for Kaname - a surprising action indeed! He searched his mind for memories, trying to recall the exact amount of force he had placed behind each bite - had he been too rough? Surely, Kaname would have reacted in some revealing manner if he had...

But this thought process brought forth another pressing question: Why had Kaname aquiesced to such behavior, allowing his body to be so horribly disrespected and abused? Was he really as self-sacrificing as Yuuki made him out to be? Or, was he really as disturbingly masochistic as Zero always so cruelly claimed? _Or_, the most frightening answer yet - did Kaname have some hidden, ulterior motive? Was his strange standoffish kindness just a ploy to fufill his own personal agenda?

Because really, what did feasting from one's neck subjucate? It couldn't be that much, considering he'd done it to Yuuki numerous times, and what came of that besides mind-consuming guilt and potent self-disgust?

_**But she was a human**_, his darkened fear hissed, and Zero could almost picture it being paired with a twisted smirk.

_Go away_, Zero mentally screamed. He was _not_ in the mood to put up with this.

_**You can keep telling yourself those pitiful, shallow excuses until you're ashes under the sun, but **_**we both **_**know the truth.**_

The Level D's head lolled back until the right side of his face rested on the grimy stones, their cold touch somewhat soothing on the heated skin stretched tightly across his jutted cheekbone. He took the time to study the barred gate locking him into this haunting room, counting each thick and rusted, vertical pole that was connected by two skinnier horizontal ones - one at the top, which stretched to the room's roof about eight feet high, and the other at the bottom, hovering two inches off the ground, giving one just enough false hope to believe in a chance at escaping.

Until now, Zero hadn't realized that this is what those who misbehaved were subjected to. Prior to his awakening not over an hour ago, Zero had surmised instant death, but now...

He couldn't help but wonder if Hiroki had suffered the same fate.

He couldn't help but wonder just how far they'd take this.

He couldn't help but wonder if this was it - if he was going to die here in this very moment.

Somewhere, deep in the recesses of his mind, he knew the answers. He feared them.

And he guessed it was quite silly of him to assume he'd be treated with even a little bit of mercy purely because of the obvious self-sacrifice he'd made. What was the term he'd seen thousands of times in his his studies with Yagari? The one he always seemed to stumble across in his readings on the complete and unabridged (every ten year old's dream!) History of the Hunter Ancestory - dating back to the very creation of the race itself - in which he never asked the meaning of, despite his floundering confusion, in fear of sounding foolish.

_Honorable discharge_. Yes, that was it. Was it really so ridiculous of him to be expecting something like that awaiting him the night of his treachery, instead of being served up to these undesirables like dinner's scraps?

What he found to be even stranger was that there were these many surviving Level E's to begin with. When the fallen students were discarded, Zero thought that meant that they were literally discarded.

Needless to say, it was apparent that Hisao certainly did have a strange predilection for these beasts, and a very strong one at that, considering the head count of visible 'E's was far greater than the amount of classmates that had 'allegedly' (because they'd never actually seen it happen) fallen.

Again, it was odd - extremely odd - because why the fuck did Hisao have an underground prison of sorts filled with Level E's? Were they past failures from other studies? Did Hisao really think so fondly (as he claimed) of Level D's that he would keep them alive even when they reached such a threatening state of being?

_Or was there something else he wasn't quite getting - something he was misunderstanding or overlooking?_

A flash of blue-gray pulled him from his hazy wonderings, followed by the increasingly loud and approaching sounds of a staccato drum - the tempo a steady and rushed rhythm. Zero craned his neck, until his head, heavy and weighted, lifted ever so slightly off the ground, just high enough so that his line of sight was just above the bottom, lack-luster bar. The image was just beyond that, and Zero found that if he closed his right eye and focused with his left one, the eyeball straining so hard, he feared it might pop out, that he might - _just might_ be able to catch a glimpse of the moving picture again.

When nothing arose from the shadows, leaving the stuffy cave a pit of invisible darkness, Zero, with a dread affilliated with cold sweat, antagonized over the daunting possibility that the image he had seen, just out of the corner of his eye, was simply a hallucination. After all, when suffering from severe bloodloss, his sanity was, in fact, extremely questionable, and that truth was only amplified by the mentally unstable condition he had already been in since the moment he had walked through that door, since the moment he had so foolishly responded, "Kiryuu Zero".

_**Don't be ridiculous. You've been this way for a **_**far**_** longer time than that. Perhaps it was **_**that**_** night that really did it. Losing your family like that - murdering your own brother - and nearly destroying the one creature that mattered to you the most, selfishly coveting her blood as your own... why, it was only a matter of time until this happened.**_

Zero's fists clenched, _Get the fuck away. _

_**Now, now, Ze -**_

" - ro-kun"

The hunter jumped, eyes widening at the sound of his name. He swore, with everything he had, that he'd heard that voice before. It was soft, like the tinkling of bells - a whisper of leaves in the wind - and it was melodic, like a bird's song, when the sun was only just beginning to raise in the sky, casting forth colors of pink, orange, and gold.

_Yuuki._

But it wasn't. No matter how much his heart screamed, cried, begged for it to be, it wasn't.

"Akiko," Zero rasped, throat exhausted from his silent cries. "How did you find me?"

There's a shifting sound, like paper rustling, or perhaps sheets flapping in the breeze, although neither of which are likely, and then suddenly he sees a face, _her _face - her wide and innocent baby blue eyes watering. She's there. She's standing there right in front of his prison, her tiny fists clenched around the bars, but barely making it around even half the circumferance.

"I followed you. I watched them - oh, _Zero-kun,"_ she whispers again, lip quivering. He can now see the fear etched deeply into her delicate features, and he realizes what she must see is too horrifying for any ten year old girl, regardless of how mature she may think herself to be.

"Don't look," he says, his heart squeezing at the concern so evident in the tears streaming quietly down her rosy cheeks. "_Please, _don't look."

She releases her iron grip on one of the bars, and moves her tiny fist to her face, scrubbing angrily at the wetness left by her own anguish at seeing her _strong _friend so breakable, before she allows her fingers to relax and spread outwards, covering one shining blue orb with her palm, and the other with her fingers held tightly together. "It worked," she sniffed. "Your plan _worked_. _We're free_." She paused, waiting for a response. When Zero gave none, she continued, her determination fueled further by his silence. "Don't you _see, _Zero-kun? We're free - you're free. If we leave now..."

And Zero wanted to believe her - he truly did. He craved that hope that she superflously emitted, like a moth drawn to a flame - that light and freeing airiness that she possessed. Her ability to find the light in every dark tunnel, no matter how grave the situation before her appeared. There was nothing he desired more.

_**It could be yours**__, _the hunger said, humming approvingly when Zero found his eyes drifting down from her covered eyes to bare and exposed neck. The tiny jugular vein was pulsing, most likely a cause of her excited state. _**All you have to do...**_

Images of crimson filled his mind, overpowering his senses. _The astringent iron, metallic smell, the dark red oozing over a pale white canvas, the feeling of his elongated and aching fangs finally sinking into the warm security of her silken flesh, the faint feminine gasp that escapes past her cherry lips, and oh - the taste!_

"Zero-kun?"

_Deep blue and trusting eyes widening deliciously in innocent shock, small hands - so easily malleable - grasping tightly onto his torn and bloodied shirt, nimbly pulling him away. She breathes his name in a silent puff, "Please don't," she cries. "Stop." _

"Fuck!" Zero swears, growling in aggravated humiliation. Had he really just done that? Even in his thoughts, the taboo action was just so, so, so disturbingly repulsive.

He hears Akiko inhale sharply in surprise. Worried, she murmurs, "Zero-kun, what's wrong?"

With self-hatred and shame, Zero notes how she still doesn't dare drop her hand and uncover her eyes - she doesn't dare disobey him.

_Does she not realize_, he wonders, _the postition she's in? How can she so blindly believe in him - a monster?_

She must misinterpret his lack of response as a result of pain because she quickly assures him, "Don't worry, Zero-kun. The others will help. My mother - "

Zero chokes out a humorless laugh. "No. They _won't_," he mutters darkly.

"_Yes, they will." _And to emphasize her statement, Akiko shakes the caged door with all her might.

"You are too trusting," Zero bitterly chuckles, although it's with a soft fondness. This girl - this no more than a hundred pound girl - had somehow weasled her way into Zero's closely guarded heart. "_Never lose that quality._ Do you hear me, Akiko? _Never_."

Akiko's answering giggle was a wisp, almost as if she was laughing at the pure awkwardness found in witnessing these uncharacteristicly warm words coming from Zero's mouth. "You act as if - as if you're saying _goodbye_," she accuses in a playful and light tone, but Zero can sense the true rising fear in her voice - can see the trembling in her shoulders.

Zero spares the girl one last fleeting glance before he allows his eyelids to flutter closed - captures this moment in his mind: her quivering knees and shuddering shoulders, the salty-smelling water streaming down her cheeks and off her chin in tiny droplets, her blonde curls, matted, but still finding a way to shine under what little light filled the tunnel-like prison.

And it isn't until now that Zero is able to put a name to the emotion she's exhibiting, but, after gazing upon the pure beauty of her despair, he _knows_.

"Zero-kun - "

"You need to leave, Akiko._"_

"But, Zer - "

_**You foolish -**_

"Go."

_**- Inane imbecile -**_

"No, Zero! I won't leave you! I won't! You can't - "

"_Fuck! Just_ go!"

"No! Zero, I - " And Zero knows what he must do - what he must _say_.

"I'll _kill_ you if you don't." The volume is just beyond that of a whisper, but of all the things he's said - he's _yelled at the top of his lungs_ - this seems to have the greatest effect.

"You wouldn't," Akiko stumbles out, not sounding an ounce assured by her own words.

"Yes, _little girl_, I _would_. I'll snap that pretty little neck in three seconds flat. Paint myself in your fucking delectable blood. I would. It wouldn't be hard. I'm not that hurt. I'm so much bigger, and so much stronger - it would be easy really. All I have to - " he cuts himself off, becoming too entrapped with the idea for his liking. He breathes in shakily, restraining something he's never been more afraid of in his entire existance. "So just fucking go before I change my mind!"

She lets out a tiny sob, and then she bolts, her bare feet making slapping sounds against the damp stones.

But that doesn't matter. None of that matters - because he _heard _it. He heard what she said before she left, before she ran. Even with his death threat hanging above her head like a precarious boulder, she still fucking said it.

_"I love you."_

Three words, and it's all it takes for Zero to finally let go - _to give up_.

When the angered 'E's - not the least bit amused by his constant, rowdy movements - bite savagely into his worn body, he doesn't even flinch.

Because no pain in all the world could compare to _this_. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. _Death would be a luxury._

* * *

><p><em>He's in a room, only, it's nothing like the one he had fallen asleep to. This one is disconsolate - dingy tiles covering the walls, each smeared with a grimy mixture of brown and red. The scent of staleness is heavy in the air, along with the puncturing fragrance of iron rust, and Zero finds that regardless of the depth of the breaths he takes, his lungs still clench and groan in discomfort from the lack of fresh oxygen. <em>

_Below his feet, illuminated by the dim, flickering lights overhead, is a trail of dark crimson, leading all the way to the very right corner of the dreary room, seemingly neverending because it does not fade, but simply merges into the pitch black painted there. _

_Then, there's a noise, soft like the tingling of a bell or the fluttering of a butterfly's wings and somewhere deep down inside himself, Zero just knows it's coming from the colorless corner. _

_His foot moves, a twitch nearly, and he's moving towards it. Towards the sinisterly light sound, and he has absolutely no idea why. He's shifting forwards, off-balanced and precariously planted on the tip of his toe, and swings his other foot out in front to catch himself. He repeats the action with the opposite foot this time, and then another with the other, and then the other. And he's getting _closer and closer_, his shoes making tiny splashes in the red puddles, dripping the bright color in places where the floor is bare. _

_The sound stops, and the room is filled with the screaming silence._

_And so does he - hesitating on the last step, peering down into the darkness, looking for it - looking for something, but the attempt achieves little._

_With a gulping kind of swallow, he reaches his hand out gingerly, watching in absolute fright as it too disappears in the velvety blackness that climbs up to his slightly bent elbow. He feels nothing but cool, damp air nipping at the tiny hair stretching across his forearm. He feels - _

_A hand, cold and clammy, tiny like a child's, grasps tightly around his wrist, and a face arises from the oblivion, with familiar maroon eyes and chocolate curls. Tiny pink lips open, exposing sharp, pointed fangs, and the sound begins again, only this time, it's no longer a soft whisper._

_It's an anguished wail._

_With a start, Zero grabs the wrist of the chilled hand encircling his, and pulls, but it's to no availl - he's caught in an iron grip. He removes his palm and glances down and -_

_Blood. All of it. Everywhere. It's covering the hand, drenching the face, matting in it's hair. It's fucking _everywhere.

_And it smells fucking delicious. _

_It smells like pureblood._

_The tiny, red lips part, flashing blood-stained teeth._

_"He's coming."_

_"Who is?" Zero asks, but it comes out nearly unintelligible - his throat dry and scratchy with a desiring thirst._

_The scarlet lips part again, completely disregarding Zero's question, and out comes a snake-like hiss that crawls up Zero's back and neck in tiny goosebumps,"Listen."_ _The boy moves in closer, his blood eyes flickering down and narrowing, and suddenly Zero is dropping onto his knees before the child without even intending to do so, his shaky legs giving out under an invisible pressure._

_The power of a pureblood's will._

_His bloody face is now hovering an inch above Zero's, the crimson liquid dripping onto the Level D's pale ivory skin, cool as ice, "Listen," he repeats, licking his lips clean, causing more droplets to escape - one of them manages to land in Zero's wide eye, stinging like a burn wound._

_Zero blinks back the scarlet. "I am."_

_"Listen, and do not forget."_

* * *

><p>It was her second week on duty, and thankfully, Ritsuka had managed to not fuck up yet. Granted, being a secretary wasn't the most difficult job in the entire world, but it certainly required time, patience, and energy - things she was regretably short on, so really, it was fairly impressive that she had managed to last this long in the business, especially considering the establishment she worked with.<p>

Of course, all hopes of keeping her job went flying out the door the second that drenched, tall and looming stranger raced in through it, eyes blazing a vicious red, and teeth exposed in a snarling scowl. As soon as he reached her desk - she, of course, was working _right up front, _a mere few feet away from the main entrance on the first floor - and was growling out _that _name, she knew she was fucked.

See, she may be way way down on the chain of command, but she still heard stuff - after all, the single most fast thing at flying is a rumor - and she was most certainly not oblivious. Especially when it came to the topic of Zero Kiryuu. Man, did that guy have some baggage. The HA basically prided themselves on their large and well-kept files on every single hunter that was a part of or had ever been a part of their organization - well, that, and hunting vampires, of course. To put it simply, Ritsuka has heard her fair share on the matter of the single survivor of the Kiryuu hunter clan.

Some ridiculous, like that he literally ripped the fangs straight from a Level E's mouth, and others incredibly reasonable, like that he had a sworn hatred towards vampires ever since his family was murdered by the infamous pureblood, Shizuka Hio.

She could practically write his biography.

However, she really had no earthly idea as to why this strange vampire was leaning over her desk and barking out the ex-human/hunter's name like he actually gave a damn.

"I'm sorry, sir," she responds in her best professional tone, despite the overwhelming fear that was clawing at her throat. After all, this was her first time seeing a vampire in person, and something told her that this guy was more than just 'a vampire'. "That's classified information. But, if you're interested in speaking to someone in our Vampire and Human Resources department, I'd be glad to schedule you an appointment with one of our representatives." She shakes the mouse of her computer, trying to get the hibernating screen to light back up, and when it's obvious that the fucking old as shit thing is frozen, her hand gravitates towards a pen and piece of scrap paper scattered haphazardly at the corner of her tiny work space. "If I could just get your name and - "

"Kuran Kaname," the vampire interrupts, voice still rough and limpidly upset.

Ritsuka freezes, her shoulders tensing. The pen she'd been holding lazily between her fingers drops to the desk. She looks up at him with wide eyes. "K - Kuran?"

He smirks slightly, but his eyes are still ignited, and she can almost hear the sizzling of her skin under his fiery gaze. "Correct."

"I'll contact the President immediately, Kuran-sama. I apologize for the inconvenience," she replies meakly, grabbing for her phone with shaky hands. It takes her a few tries, but she's able to dial the number properly, and with a trembling breath, brings the corded phone to her flushed face.

She peers around, avoiding the stare that she knows is there, instead noting the people who have stopped mid-conversation to turn and watch the trainwreck before them.

"Fuckers," she murmurs under her breath, taking into account the fact that they were all falling over themselves to assist her.

"Excuse me?" and with a warm blush, she realizes that it's the affronted voice of her superior.

"Uh, err, President. Kuran Kaname is here in the lobby. I believe he wishes to speak with you," Ritsuka stutters out, pulse jumping.

There's a brief silence on the other end of the call, and before Ritsuka almost pulls the phone away from her head to see if the call was dropped, she hears a clearing of the throat.

"Kuran?" the President repeats, and the secretary is pretty positive she hears the creaking of a desk drawer being opened, and then the faint thud of metal on wood.

"Yes, ma'am," she answers, biting her lip.

"_Wonderful_," she hums, but the way she says it tells Ritsuka that she feels otherwise. "I'll send for someone to escort him up to my office."

The line goes dead.

Setting the phone back in its receiver, Ritsuka finally looks up to once again meet the pureblood's wine-colored orbs. "She said she'd - "

"I know."

"Right," she grimaces, nodding and shifting in her chair uncomfortably. She hadn't really hid her dead-giveaway reactions that well. "Well, I'm not sure how long it'll be, but there are a few chairs over there if you wanna..." she trails off at his furious expression that has not at all calmed down since the second he entered the building.

"I'll stand," he spits, glaring.

"Alrighty then," she squeaks. "That's cool, too."

* * *

><p>A flash of white.<p>

"Hisao-san, are you sure it's him?"

Faces crowding Zero's vision, all covered with sanitation masks.

A chuckle.

"Yes, you can practically _smell_ it on him."

A faint beeping constant and slothenly.

"Okay, well then, let's hook him up."

Several pricks everywhere, all over his body - sharp and pointed.

"Ready?"

Several confirmations, all over the room - quick and precise.

The mechanical hum of a machine.

And he can feel the warmth seeping into his entire being, strengthening his limbs, quickening his pulse.

It's bright - oh so very bright, and he has to close his eyes.

* * *

><p>Kaname doesn't bother knocking - he's way beyond the point of even caring. He simply pushes the door open and walks into the room.<p>

The single lifted eyebrow on the President's face tells him that she isn't the least bit surprised, either.

"Kuran," she drawls, hands intertwined and resting in front of her mouth, elbows grating into her desk. Behind her right arm, Kaname can detect the flash of metal underneath the light - a weapon, no doubt. "To what do I owe this immense _pleasure_?"

He steps forward, eyes narrowed. "It's concerning a certain student at the academy I attend. The one your dear friend, Cross Kaien is in charge of. I'm sure you know where I'm referring to."

"Oh yes," she smiles, "Yes, I'm well aquainted with Kaien and his school. I believe it to be quite a lovely place, actually. The grounds are simply beautiful, and the layout is very _fitting_, don't you think?" She doesn't receive a response, and neither does she wait for one. "However, I'm a little bemused as to why you're coming to me with a matter that regards a student. Would that not be something to discuss with the Headmaster himself?"

Kaname smirks, face twisting unpleasantly, and even on his flawless features, it looks ugly. "Had Kaien any knowledge of the matter at hand, I would, but I'm afraid that's not the case."

"Oh," she says with an interested twirk in the corner of her lips. "How very intriguing. An issue at Kaien's academy that he has no awareness of? Very, very intriguing... if I might be so forward as to ask, what is this issue, and who might be the student it involves?"

Glowering, Kaname advances towards her desk anothe couple steps. "You and I know very well that you have full knowledge as to who and what I am referring to."

She inclines her head to the side, smiling behind her hands coyly. "Do I?"

Kaname's fists clench and his teeth grate together. "Kiryuu Zero," he seethes, growing tired of the game she was trying so hard to play.

She emits a tiny laugh before leaning back in to her chair, face morphing into a relaxed expression. "Oh," she responds, "That matter is dealt with. There's no need for your involvement. My suggestion would be that it's best that, for the time being, you just - "

"I'm terribly sorry, but I won't be accepting anything less than a clear response as to Kiryuu-kun's location, let alone any of your," he runs his tongue over his teeth in a quick flick, "Suggestions."

Her nose crinkles and her lips pucker into a sour pout. "Very well then," she concludes after a second of deliberation. "Allow me to make one quick call, and we'll see where we can go from there, okay?"

Kaname watches her expectantly, and once she realizes that he's not going to agree with anything she says, picks up her office phone, grabs a piece of paper from her desk drawer, and studies it with squinted eyes. She begins dialing a number on the receiver's keypad.

"I have a question regarding a patient at your clinic," she voices.

Kaname's head rises and his neck cranes forward. _Clinic? Patient? _Neither term made sense to him... _Was Zero the patient she was referring to? And why would he - _

Her eyes widen, and she breaks out into a smile. "Really? All of them?" She laughs. "A great misfortune, indeed."

At her words, Kaname's throat closes in, and his dry tongue sticks uncomfortably to the roof of his mouth. Something about what she was saying didn't sound right, and the way she was reacting...

No. Zero wasn't dead. He couldn't be. Kaname would know. He would definitely know.

"My, my. I didn't know the Kiryuu boy had it in him."

Kaname moves in closer, trying to detect the voice on the other line, but he can barely hear over the worried, pounding beats of his heart as it hammered away at his rib cage.

"So then, I'm assuming all further studies have been canceled for the time being." She pauses, waiting for an answer. "Wonderful. Well, then, I'm also assuming that all patients - " she laughs again, "Or should I say, that _the patient_ is allowed to return home for the time being?" Another pause. "Superb." She pulls the phone away from her face and looks directly at Kaname. "They're making plans for his return as we speak. It's quite coincidental that you showed up when you did, don't you think?"

"Where is he?" Kaname demands, not the least bit convinced by her display.

She grins. "Calm down, Kuran. I'm trying to do you a favor, here." Her ears perk, most likely at a sound from the other line, and she presses the phone back against her cheek. "No, no, it's no problem." She giggles, or the closest thing Kaname assumes she can manage. "Don't we all?" She sits there silently, listening, before returning her attention back to Kaname. "Do you want to pick him up from here, or have us take him back to the Academy?"

"Where is he now?" Kaname questions anxiously. "Can I pick him up from there?"

She blinks at him for a moment, scrutinizing his distressed state of being. Finally, she nods. "I'll send a driver," she informs the other line.

Kaname has to restrain a sigh of relief.

"Again, thank you. I appreciate your accommodation."

She hangs up with a click.

"I'll find someone to escort you there, but I strongly _suggest_," she smirks at the word, "that you remain in the car at all times. I don't think anyone there would be too keen on the idea of a pureblood waltzing in through their door."

Kaname nods, frowning but not seeing the point in arguing. After all, he was getting what he wanted, right? Tongue in cheek, he asks, "Why are you helping me?"

She laughs airily. "Am I?" she jests, head titling. "Debt is the worst poverty, Kuran. I should think you'd have realized that by now."

He takes little security in what her words are hinting at, but before he can even think to protest, she continuing.

"Besides," - another grin - "I'm sure poor Zero misses his home dearly."

* * *

><p><strong>PLEASE READ.<strong>

**I've tried really hard to not make author's notes after chapters because I think it kind of takes away from the dramatic endings, but this was completely necessary.**

**So, few things: **

**First of all, I PROMISE KanaZero interactions in the next chapter, so please don't be too angry at the lack so far.**

**Second, I know this is going to be fairly hard to believe, but this story is NOT over (though I hope it was made obvious by the ambiguous dream sequence haha...)**

**I actually originally intended for ****Luxury**** to start from the second to last scene (where Zero's all loopy and confused) and move forward, with flashbacks to Zero's time at the institution along the way, but I worried that would be too confusing to understand because I was basically creating my own Vampire Knight universe (hence the AU label).**

**SO, BASICALLY, ARC ONE IS COMPLETE!**

**But now that I'm finally here, we can get to the good, action-y/romantic shit that we all know and love! Because really, who doesn't love a gay, epic romance?**

**Plus, sexy-times make it fairly interesting as well...**

**Just throwing that out there.**

**XOXO**


	17. Chapter 16

**Hey, so... I'm back? ... hahaha...**

**Hardest fucking chapter of my entire life... I have no idea why. It just was. **

**Anyslut, sorry it took so long. I suck, I know. **

**It is currently two in the morning, so allow me to apologize in advance for any mistakes, and just remember that they're there because I love you enough to stay up and write this.**

**(Warning: this chapter will be slightly confusing, especially in the beginning, but just bear with me, m'kay?)**

**XOXO**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

* * *

><p><em>You will all stay strong - for yourselves, for those around you, for those you've lost to this deadly illness called vampirism. You will remember. And in your memories, you shall prosper.<em>

* * *

><p>Chapter 16: Homecoming<p>

_A flash of white. _

_Kiryuu-kun._

_Faces crowding Zero's vision, all covered with sanitation masks._

_A chuckle._

_Kiryuu-kun._

_A faint beeping constant and slothenly._

_Kiryuu-kun._

_Several pricks everywhere, all over his body - sharp and pointed. _

_Several confirmations, all over the room - quick and precise._

_The mechanical hum of a machine._

_And he can feel the warmth seeping into his entire being, strengthening his limbs, quickening his pulse._

_It's bright - oh so very bright, and he has to close his eyes._

"Kiryuu-kun."

And just as quickly, he finds himself opening them, for once in his life not being plagued by dreary lids and a sleepy haze. The vision of the room surrounding him is clear - clearer than he recalled it being when he'd last closed his eyes. It was like he'd simply blinked, and that that blink was able to provide him with the strength of a thousand sleeps, and without the side effects too. No headaches, no hunger pains, no sore limbs.

He felt fucking fantastic. The best he'd ever felt in his entire life.

"Kiryuu-kun?"

"Yes?" he responds, without even really knowing _who_ it was that he was responding to. The voice was completely unfamiliar - as unfamiliar as the face it belonged to.

"You're cured. Your treatment is complete," the reheaded stranger informs him with a expectant grin, as if the sentence meant anything to the ex-human.

_Cured? Treatment?_

He blinks. "Excuse me?"

Her smile deepens, almost awkwardly, like she's using it to restrain something else. "Your... treatment." She bites her lip, noting his completely lost expression. "Don't you remember, Kiryuu-kun? The Hunter's Association sent you an invitation to our clinic. We were studying bloodlust, and thought we found a cure. You were one of the first allowed to participate in our test trials, and they've proven successful. You're cured..."

Zero allows his thoughts to trail off with her words. _Did he remember?_ A shock of realization, quick like the flash of a camera, and _oh_. Yes, he did recall receiving the letter, though he didn't quite remember it of the 'invitation' sorts. He recalls his conversation with Cross, too. His plan. When he left. Arriving at the HA, and leaving it just as quickly... They hadn't really seemed all that comfortable with him simply sitting there in the lobby, stroking Bloody Rose in one hand, and tapping his fingernails impatiently on the arm of his chair with the other. The building - the disgusting-looking, dingy-as-hell building. The men dressed in white. They'd taken Zero's gun - stripped him of every last thing he owned. Even his underwear, the fuckers. And then... and then -

Nothing.

A looming, white as light wall. It stretched as high as the sky, and sunk low into the ground. Unpenetrable, as the memories he was suddenly desperately trying to reach.

"What did you do to me?" he hisses between teeth, mind clawing anxiously at the wall. It was air beneath his fingertips, like he could easily stick his hand right through it. Like it wasn't even fucking there. But it was.

_It was blinding._

For a second, he thinks she's going to scream. He really does. Her lips are parting into an 'o', and her green irises are shrinking into the white surrounding them. He can hear her hearbeat pounding loudly in his ears, like she wasn't fucking standing a safe ten feet away. Like, instead, she was right there, chest pressed against his head. Vampire senses, he knows are the main cause of this. But still, they'd never been that potent before except for right after a feeding with Kaname...

_Just what the fuck did they do to him?_

She doesn't scream, however. She must remember something, or realize something, because her lips relax just slightly, and her doe eyes are returning back to their normal size.

"We cured you, Kiryuu-kun," she repeats finally.

_Cured him?_ He shakes his head furiously. "Stop saying that like I have any fucking idea what you're talking about!"

"Of your bloodlust. We cured you of your bloodlust," she tries again while he attempts to not focus so hard on the sounds of her calming pulse.

But wait, if she was right, did he have to? It'd be the best way to see if she was telling the truth, wouldn't it? He suddenly finds himself listening intently now. Searching for the sloshy thuds. Imagining the warm liquid running down his throat in a thick stream. The metallic smell. The fucking taste -

He flicks his tongue across his canines... They're normal. No fangs. _No fangs._ Come to think of it, his throat isn't even burning either. His stomach isn't aching. His chest isn't heaving. He can think. _He can think clearly_.

"How?" he murmurs incredulously, bringing a single hand to his face because yes, _that_ would surely give him the answer...

"We've had you under careful watch for these past fifty days - "

"Fifty days..."

"Ye - yes. You've been - "

_"Fifty fucking days?_Are you fucking kidding me?"

She flinches, taking another quick step backwards. "No, Kiryuu-kun, I'm not. And I - "

He shakes his head, his expression somwhere between disbelief, anger, and genuine curiousity. "Then why the _fuck_ can't I remember anything? Fifty fucking days of absolutely nothing!"

Even as the words are leaving his mouth, he can't even begin to believe it. Had it really been that long? It felt like it was just yesterday that he had gotten the letter. That he had spoken with Kaien... He was practically missing a whole chunk of his life.

It was horrifying.

The redhead forces what Zero assumes to be her best attempt at a smile, but it just comes across as a feeble lip tremble. "There are no memories for you to _remember_. You've been under the entire time."

Zero drops the scowl and instead raises his eyebrows, finding it almost frightening how prone to change his disposition was. Had he always been this way? Or was this some sort of fucked up side-effect? "Under what?"

She bites her lip. "Look around."

Zero was never one to follow someone else's orders, but this time, he couldn't quite resist.

The room is white. Like the wall. All white. Everything is white. Except for... this machine. It's all metal parts and blinking lights and humming sounds. And there's this piece - this rounded arc-like piece that's smooth stainless steel it looks like. It almost resembles a pillow of sorts, with the way it's curved to comfortably support a neck. And it's attached to his chair. _His chair._ He's sitting. Why hadn't he noticed that before? The chair is reclined back, giving it the appearance of comfort, but it's not really. Comfortable that is. As a matter of fact, Zero finds the longer he sits in it, the more his neck starts to hurt.

There are lab instruments too. Each all lined up neatly on a nearby tray, like one would see in a dentist's office... Only, there's one. _A single fucking one_ that stands out. The difference is almost too small to even notice, but how could one not? After all, the large syringe-like tool's - though, again, it is too big to be a simple syringe - very tip is colored red.

Red.

His stomach lurched. Fuck, was it _his_? Was it red with his blood? And what the hell was it, to begin with? He makes to sit up -

"No!"

His eyes snap back to the woman before him. She was further away than she had been a few seconds ago.

"Don't stand," she says, voice far calmer than her first exclamation. She tenses at his narrowing and suspicious gaze. "You're still a little disoriented from waking up. We wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

Despite her words, he continues, using his the arms of the chair to hoist himself up and onto his feet. He nearly topples forward the second his bare skin meets the cold ground, and he has to keep his grip on the arm for support. He needs to get out of there. He can't think. Can't breathe. the smell of harsh lemon is suffocating.

He advances forward in a stumble. She was right. He could hardly walk.

When he trips right into her arms, he thinks she's going to pass out, which is weird, because _he's _the dizzy one. But she doesn't.

Her hands are surpisingly comforting on his back, moving slowly, stroking, running up his tensed shoulder blades and then -

Something is piercing his neck. Images of the extremely wide, blood-painted needle fill his mind. He jumps, pushing her away, and tumbles backwards, his head hitting the floor with a loud smack.

_"Fuck,"_ he groans, vision swimming as his eyes try to find her again. Try to see what stabbed him. But everything is dancing. Taunting him. Walls are shifting, distorting like mirrors at a carnival attraction... oh, what was it called? The ground ripples beneath him, and since when was he in water? _Oh fuck, was he drowning?_

He sucks in a breath.

Was it filled with water? He's not sure. All he knows is that he's sinking, and sinking, and...

"I'm sorry, Kiryuu-kun. I really am."

* * *

><p>To say the lengthy car ride over to Zero's ambiguous location left Kaname with more than enough time to endure the ever so painful, and not in the least unwavering, knawing hunger was an understatement. And, considering the fact that the President had insisted that Zero be escorted home in 'style' - which, in her book, he guesses meant a limo (and personally, Kaname would have pegged Zero to be more of a jet kind of guy) - Kaname was forced to not only bear the hunger pains, but restrain them as well. The driver she had sent along with the car was regrettably very much human - and, given the pureblood's starved condition, smelled oddly <em>fantastic<em>. The creeping paranoia that he'd been working so hard to control whispers to him in an angry hiss that the evil woman had done _this_ on purpose.

It's crazed thoughts like that that worry him the most - and make him want to find the Level D all the more. To find him and punish him for all the grief he'd put him through. Not kill him, of course, because that would be foolish. After all, he still needed the vampire alive.

Good thing vampires were so sturdy.

Above revenge, though, he thought of _it_. How _it _would finally feel - when his teeth would sink into the warmth of the hunter's neck, sliding into the pliable flesh like it was melted butter. When bursts of heated flavor - thick and smooth like honey, smelling heavily of rusted iron - would assualt his taste buds in a delicious frenzy, coating his tongue and gliding down his throat with ease. And god, the sounds the boy would make: a gasp of realization, and then, multiple, futile angry slurs and curses, and then, finally, as it sunk in that there was really nothing he could do and that he was trapped - when he accepted defeat, after all those years - he would emit a broken whimper.

And it would be the most wonderful thing Kaname had heard for quite a while.

But, pushing past all those distracting musings that were obviously a result of his delirium (kind of), he knew he had to approach the entire thing wisely and realistically, and that was the thing worrying its way into his mind ever three seconds, and even when he'd thought it to be gone, would return with ten times as much potency.

Just how did he expect to do this?

He obviously couldn't attack the Level D in the car - no, the driver would report back to the President, no doubt, and that would be the end of that. He assumes that back at the Academy would be the most appropriate option, but then, how was he going to convince Zero to go anywhere in private with him?

And even if he somehow managed to come up with a 'why', he was still left with the issue of an entire building of witnesses... Granted, the Night class would be on his side, but Kaname, almost perversely, wanted to savor his much anticipated 'interaction' with Zero alone. Plus, something tells him that his sister wouldn't be too keen on the idea of watching her friend suffer in such a way, either, and the least Kaname could do was guarantee that she wouldn't _see_ it.

The car slows to a halt, and the driver peeks into his rearview mirror, meeting Kaname's dazed stare. "I'm going to run in and pick the kid up," he says gruffly, fixing the vampire with a pointed look. "You stay put."

The pureblood nods, trying to force out what was left of his amenable behavior, and flicks the man onward with his hand, watching him silently as he slides out of the vehicle and shuffles towards the door of a dank, old building sitting a good few yards away. Kaname can't help but wonder if the man parked that far away because of _him_, but with success just barely out of reach, he can't bring himself to be guilted by it.

Retreating back to his previous thoughts, he debates on how to lure the young ex-human back to his room. Most likely, Zero would be hungry. After all, Kaname severely doubted they had purebloods willing to donate their blood just lying around at this dingy-looking place, so using his own blood and Zero's hunger would be his best bet.

Yes, that would work just fine. He would guide the vampire back to his room, ignoring his half-hearted claims of how he despised him and such and the Level D's obviously forced reluctance towards the act he knew Zero secretly craved each and every time his throat twinged with thirst. Of course, said act would never take place - or at least, not until Kaname was completely satisfied, and if he was in a pleasant enough mood afterwards.

No, instead, Kaname would be the one drinking his blood. This time, he'd get to be the selfish one - digging his fangs harshly into Zero's soft skin, smiling at the knowledge of the boy's discomfort, indulging in the burning desire he'd been suffering for the past month or so.

He'd finally take what he wanted, and he couldn't care less on how Zero felt towards the matter.

That was, of course, his mindset up until the point where he can see two figures in the distance - one tall and bulky and one a stumbling, weak-kneed mess. The first is the driver - Kaname recognizes him. But the second, Kaname nearly doesn't: clad in a bland blue-gray that hangs loosely around its limbs, obviously several sizes too large for the body's several sizes too small stature.

Up until the point where the two men are closer now, and Kaname can see the details of the figure's face, and realizes with shock that it's Zero - his palid skin, too tightly stretched over too prominent bones, his constant fumbling, his blank lilac eyes. He was emaciating on the spot.

Up until the point where the driver is opening the back door, and guiding the dazed Zero into the backseat.

Up until the point where Kaname is being handed a limp, seemingly lifeless boy and is asked by the gruff man to set him comfortably back into one of the cushioned chairs. Kaname's so utterly baffled by the entire situation that he does it without any complaint.

When the elder man hobbles around the car, and back into the front seat, setting a pile of familiarly-colored clothes with something that glinted metallic stacked on top of it at the passenger side, Kaname asks him, with confusion, "What's wrong with him?"

He can see the driver frowning in the reflection of the rearview mirror. "It's not my place to know," he mutters, head shaking, "But if you ask me, he looks pretty drugged up."

Eyebrows raising in poorly concealed interest, Kaname turns back to study the Level D sitting helplessly by his side, taking in his opened, but inanimate eyes that don't shift with Kaname's movements, unfocused with their pupils overly dilated; taking in his calm, measured breaths that shouldn't be that way because Kaname knows Zero wouldn't be the slightest bit relaxed whilst seated next to the pureblood; taking in the way his head lolls to the left and onto Kaname's shoulder, and doesn't immediately shoot away like it should.

He snaps his fingers before the boy's line of sight for good measure.

Nothing.

"Drugged," he muses aloud, turning away from the pitiful creature at his side and towards the window, and the oh-so-scenic view of jagged, strangely placed rocks and half-dead, leaveless trees.

* * *

><p>"Ma'am, I've just received a call from the driver in charge of the Kiryuu boy. They're on their way to Cross Academy," the middle-aged woman states, her head peeking around the edge of her superior's doorway just barely enough to be visible.<p>

The official looks up from the single sheet of paperwork in front of her, causing the sweeps of moonlight hair to fall from her face in a cascading swirl. She regards her secretary with indifferent, olive-green eyes. "Splendid. Contact Cross Kaien and relay that very same message."

"Yes, ma'am," the woman responds obediently with a nod.

"Oh," the President calls as an afterthought, "Also, find me a list of every guard on duty today, and have them fired immediately."

Her secretary's eyes widen behind her pair of thickly-rimmed glasses. "A - all of them?"

"Yes." It's a curt reply that comes without a second of hesitation.

"But, ma'am, that's over twenty people!" she cries, forgetting herself. After all, many of the security guards she was referring to had been working in the Hunter's Association for basically their entire life, and here they were, being carelessly discarded in the blink of an eye like a broken pen. Not even that, because at least the President tried to fix her broken pens.

The hazel orbs flash, and the President straightens up from behind her desk with cool smile. "And yet they couldn't stop a single vampire from entering our allegedly highly-secured establishment. All the more reason."

"But - "

"Twenty means absolutely nothing if not even one can do their job properly," she interrupts with narrowed eyes. "And I trust that you'll have no further complaints towards the matter."

The secretary frowns and retreats with a defeated, "None, ma'am. I'll get to both right away - "

"Wait," the President calls, motioning the woman back over and into her office. She wets her lips with a flick of her tongue and stares at the ceiling with pursed lips. "Tell me," she commands, eyes still glued to the off-white wall above her. "What do you know of Kiryuu Zero?"

Taken aback by the oddity of the question, but not the least surprised - after all, her boss was quite an oddity herself - the middle-aged worker bites her lip in thought. "Well, besides the obvious - "

"Which would be?" the President asks with mild curiosity.

"His past. His heritage. His... condition."

"Ah," the silver-haired woman murmurs in understanding. "Go on, then."

"I believe he scored a five hundred and twelve on his Hunter's Entrance exam," the woman ticks off on one finger. "And - "

"You knew that number off the top of your head?"

She smiles sheepishly at the form of praise. "Well, it is my job, ma'am."

"Indeed," the President blinks, lips curling into an amused expression. "A five hundred and twelve, you say?"

The other woman confirms it with a nod. "He received perfect marks on both the Physical and Situational Awareness tests. The only portion of the exam that he seemed to struggle with was the writing section of the History and Ancestory test, but even in that, he scored above average."

"Interesting," the President smirks, giving no further reply that would add credibility to her claim.

"Very much so," the secretary agrees before swallowing awkwardly and shifting her center of balance from one foot to the other. "If that's all - "

"One more thing, I promise," she announces, and her nose scrunches slightly, waiting for her subordinate's interest to be completely picqued before speaking. "What is your take on Kiryuu-kun's relationship with Kuran Kaname?"

"I - I hadn't realized there was even a relationship in question..."

The President hums in flippant disappointment. "Niether had I."

* * *

><p>Oddly enough, having Zero in his grasp seemed to placate Kaname's bloodlust - for the time being, of course - and he was able to settle back into the seat with greater ease than he had before, relaxing his rigidly placed legs and kicking them out forward, along with his clenched fists. However, he found that, despite this mild comfort, he was very much uncomfortable, and couldn't even begin to attempt to release the building tension that was in his neck and shoulders. This was a result, no doubt, from keeping completely motionless under the light weight of the barely conscious Level D's head - the boy's calmed breaths knicking the edge of his jaw with each puff, and his silvery strands breezing almost unnoticeably against the exposed skin of his neck. Only, it was extremely noticeable.<p>

Too noticeable for Kaname's liking, in fact.

He wasn't quite sure why he was even allowing the ex-human to rest there to begin with - especially since every second made him feel like he should shove the creature away.

Carefully, he tilts his head away from the boy as much as he can manage, and turns it to the side, his maroon eyes flickering over the teen's features.

When it's not wrinkled in disgust, Zero's nose smoothes out comfortably, barely upturning at the very tip like that of a child's, and with the likeness of a button. His mouth, lax and barren of all emotion, puckers slightly in a part, providing a passage for each and every one of his deep inhales and exhales, and despite being chapped with thirst, is tinted pleasantly with a soft pink. Kaname has to almost restrain a chuckle at this - never before had he noticed these simple, strangely feminine features of the boy - who, made clear by his other very masculine though still maturing features, was obviously a _male_ - and part of him wishes the boy was aware enough for him to point it out. Then again, that notion was slightly odd. Neither of them had been on good enough terms for Kaname to say such a thing without it being uncharacteristic.

Still, a closing glance that chooses to swoop past the hollowed cheeks and dark purple circles under the boy's eyes in favor of the boy's numbed lilac orbs, and he can almost see it. It makes him realize that Zero's face isn't really as feminine like he'd thought seconds before. It's just young.

Immature.

He'd known Zero for quite a while, since the kid was eleven, as a matter of fact, but never before had he seen him look so much like a child - even when he _was_ a child. Right now, at this very moment, he just appeared so helpless and harmless and not at all like himself.

And maybe _that's _why Kaname hadn't pushed him back yet. Sure, he wasn't particularly fond of him being tucked at his side, but, in Zero's current state, Kaname couldn't really find it in himself to be angry at him, either.

No, that part he could save for _later_.

* * *

><p>The driver pulls up to the Academy's gates a little before dawn - which is coincidentally, to Kaname's displeasure, around the time when the members of the Night class would be returning to the Moon dorm.<p>

And so, when the man hops out of his seat with a roughened smile, and opens the car door, clutching the pile of clothing he'd had in his hand when he'd left the old building, Kaname, while relieved, feels fairly wary.

"Thank you," Kaname murmurs to him quietly, though he has no idea why. After all, Zero was most certainly awake, so there was no need for his hushed volume. Now, whether the ex-human was 'all there' was a completely different story.

"Of course," the man responds pleasantly enough as Kaname slides with liquid-ease out of the door, pulling Zero's limp frame with him. It's not as difficult as Kaname imagined it to be - the boy is actually quiet easy to maneuver in this state, like an obedient puppet. Realistically speaking, it would most likely be the most convenient state for Kaname to take what so rightfully belonged to him. So easy. All he would have to do is yank him close, push the silver-haired vampire's head to the side, exposing his milky white flesh, and bite -

His throat ached just thinking about it.

As Kaname moves to the gates' entrance, with Zero colorlessly at his side, the driver, in a sudden haste, calls after him.

"Kuran-sama," he repeats after his first attempt is blatantly ignored, and Kaname turns, holding back a growl at having his wait be yet again prolonged. "The kid's stuff." He raises his hand, showing what Kaname now recognizes to be Zero's folded uniform and beloved Bloody Rose.

To be honest, the pureblood could care less about Zero's stuff, and he almost leaves it there, with the man, had it not been for the cool, blank-eyed gaze of the boy beside him. When he looked like this, Kaname sort of felt guilty. Sort of. So, even though he knows it's pathetic that he does so, Kaname retreats and retrieves the pile from the man with a nod and strides back over to the eerily calm hunter.

"You're quite lucky that you look so completely pitiful in such a state," he informs Zero, who simply tilts his head to the side and blinks. After a moment of blank stares, Kaname, realizing that expecting an actual response was ridiculous, pushes forward and wills the gates open with a flick of his unoccupied hand.

Only when his left side is suddenly as empty as his right, does he spin around, and with tired eyes, searches for the missing Level D. And come on, he couldn't have gone that far - the teen could barely walk on his own... Sure enough, he spots him, only a few yards away, standing hesitantly over the Academy's fountain and staring almost curiously into the spouting faucets.

With bewilderment, well-hidden anxiousness, and slight irritation, he approaches Zero's still form, and grasps softly at his wrist, urging him along. The boy, for once and surprisingly so, refuses to budge, simply continuing his assessment by trailing his gaze down and into the rippling water pooling beneath the spray.

Kaname shifts slightly to catch a glimpse of what the ex-human was looking at with such interest. He shouldn't have been all that shocked to see it was merely his distorted, silver-haired and lilac-eyed face peering back at him.

"It's just your reflection," Kaname assures the questioning blinks of the boy, not even quite sure why he was humoring such behavior. "Now, come."

Again, Zero's head simply moves slightly at an angle.

"Very well then," Kaname states calmly, "I'll make you," and with that, he's placing Zero's possessions in the Level D's hands and is, in a quick and swift motion, hoisting him up into his arms. "I should have done this to begin with," he says mainly to himself. "It's far easier."

He takes both great pleasure and an overwhelming discomfort from carrying the vampire in such a gentle manner - one one hand, knowing that when Zero was finally in his right mind, he would not, in the least, be thrilled by what had transpired, and on the other, knowing that at the time being, _he himself_ wasn't, in the least, thrilled by what was transpiring.

* * *

><p>The Night class sat anxiously in the Moon dorm's lobby-like area - they had been since they'd returned from their lessons, and then before then, too.<p>

Kaname had only been missing for a day. One day, and that was it. But, given the current circumstances, it wasn't completey ridiculous for them to be worried over one day. After all, a lot could happen in one day - in one day, Zero and Yuuki lost their families. In one day, Yuuki discovered the truth about her past. In one day, they'd killed Rido.

In one day, Zero left.

The pureblood princess bit her lip and emitted a weak sigh.

Why on earth had Zero left? What possible reason could one give to justify it? Now, Yuuki understood partially. He was probably overwhelmed, what, with every unlucky thing that had been sprung on him - that he was a vampire. That Yuuki was a vampire. Seeing the person that had ruined his life - that had changed him. Seeing his thought-to-be-dead brother. And, as Yuuki now knew, biting Kaname.

Yuuki wasn't stupid. She knew that there was no way Zero could have forced Kaname to give him his blood, partially because Kaname was stronger than him (but that was a given), and also because she knew with everything in her heart, that Zero would have detested such an action. That he probably had. That where ever he was, he probably still did.

Zero wasn't meant to be a vampire, but then again, a few months ago, she would told you the same thing about herself.

"Yuuki-hime."

She shook away her wonderings and looked up to meet kind and troubled green eyes. "Ichijou-senpai?"

He gave a small smile. "Yuuki-hime, perhaps we should retire for the evening. It's almost morning, and - " he cut himself off, hazel eyes widening, and within an instant, she knows why.

She can feel it. They all can. A pureblood's aura, stronger than her own, and most certainly familiar.

"Onii-sama," she whispers, almost breathlessly - all the air whooshing out of her chest a lungs the second the Moon dorm's doors are creaking open.

But it's not because it's Kaname. It's not because her brother is back, although she is quite relieved by that. It's because in his arms, crumpled up like thin sheet of worn paper, is Zero.

Zero. Zero Kiryuu.

She gasps out the ex-human's name, rising from her seat with unsteady legs. It takes everything she has to keep them from buckling under her.

Yuuki meets the eyes of her brother, a dark scarlet like blood. The exchange doesn't last for long, but it's still long enough for her to catch the glint of frustration that leaves tiny flecks of bright crimson in the male's otherwise dark irises. When their gazes part, he sweeps his across the room and settles it on Takuma, who, like Yuuki, has risen in bewildered surprise.

"Takuma," Kaname says, and Yuuki nearly jumps out of her skin at the sound. The air had been silent for far too long, and now, even the pureblood's calm and collected near-whisper was blaring.

The green-eyed noble stiffens immediately at the commanding tone that only took the pureblood one word to achieve. But, of course, this wasn't new. Kaname has had this talent for as long as Takuma had known him - as any of them had known him - and there isn't a single one of them that would doubt that he'd had it for longer than that, too.

It wasn't new... It'd just been a while since any of them had heard it.

"Please inform Cross that Zero will be in my possession for the time being." He casts a fleeting glance in Yuuki's direction, and something in her expression must tell him to add on, "You may tell him that Zero is safe, as well."

"O - of course," Takuma stutters, already moving towards the door.

A moment of silence, before -

"I'll go with him."

"Like _hell_ you will," Ruka snorts at Shiki, who was nearly now at Takuma's side. "Kaname-sama needs this done now, not _an_ _hour from now_."

Yuuki's not sure exactly what Ruka's hinting at, but something about her tone makes the pureblood princess's cheeks burn pink regardless.

Takuma, who is sporting a matching blush, opens his mouth to protest but is cut off by the elder pureblood's chuckle, and it's short-lived and small - really, _really_ small - but it's not in the least bitter, and that observation makes Yuuki's chest warm and her legs a little less shaky.

"No detours," Kaname states candidly, before nodding them onward.

The firetruck red is soothed into a soft pink that could even almost be excused as a healthy flush had it not been for the embarrassed grimace that painted the green-eyed noble's lips.

It's then, when Takuma is pushing the door open with Shiki hot on his trail, that it clicks, and Yuuki emits a tiny squeak in realization that earns a barely-there (but still there enough to count) half-smile from her brother, and a single raised eyebrow paired with a wicked grin from Ruka.

_Were they -_

* * *

><p>" - dating?"<p>

The brunette blinks at her for a second before breaking into a sneer. Normally, Yuuki would find the expression to be quite unkind, and would probably be struggling to not take offense to the rather rude display, but now, it just kind of makes Yuuki want to sneer along with her.

A few months ago, Ruka wouldn't have even spared her the time for a sneer, unless Yuuki had somehow managed to piss her off _that much_, so she knows it's ridiculous and probably not at all healthy to think this way, but she can't help but feel flattered that Ruka was even giving her the time it took to makes such a face to begin with.

"'Dating?' Seriously?" Ruka repeats with a laugh, and again, Yuuki can't even bring it in herself to be bothered by the obvious teasing.

As soon as Shiki and Takuma had left, Kaname had retreated up the stairs and to his room, which, had she not been completely placated by his promise to 'not do anything to Kiryuu-kun _tonight_' (she had chosen to politely ignore the 'tonight' for the time being), Yuuki would have not allowed. It's crazy, she knows, to trust the mere word of the same man - _vampire_ - who'd almost drained Shiki dry, and had been completely unstable for the past couple weeks. Still, she couldn't deny that having Zero in his 'possession' - as he had said earlier - appeared to have rendered him sane enough. His almost-normal attitude was proof of that.

Besides, assuming he wasn't 'sane', she doubts there would be anything she could do to stop him, anyway.

Kain, Aidou, and Rima had returned to their rooms as well, or at least, she thinks they had, and soon the only two who were left to occupy the room were them - the unlikely, err, teammates?

That's when Yuuki finally asked. About Takuma and Shiki. If they were -

"Yes, 'dating'," Yuuki confirms, not at all phased by Ruka's laughter.

Ruka's eyes widen at that, and her expression morphs into one of earnest bemusement. "Err, well, vampires don't really date..."

Yuuki can tell when it dawns on Ruka just who she's speaking too, and how completely ignorant of vampire custom that person is, because her brow pinches together as she tries to search for the proper explanation. "Because of how permanent things like blood bonds and marriages are to vampire society, once you're with someone, you're kinda with them _forever_."

Yuuki shuffles forward to the edge of her spot on the dorm's loveseat eagerly, as if the extra three inches will somehow help make sense of Ruka's words. "So, you don't even get to go out with the person before you... commit?"

Ruka, on the other hand, leans back lazily into her seat and crosses her legs. "Oh, no, you do. We just like to think of it as... _courting_. It sounds a lot less scandalous," she says with a grin.

Yuuki returns the pleasantry, genuinely pleased by the notion of them getting along. She didn't have a lot of girl friends after transferring to the Night class, or friends in general, and the idea of one made her lips twirk, even if it _was_ Ruka, who probably still hated her guts.

... Even_ Yuuki _had to admit that there was something definitely weird about that. "So then, Shiki and Takuma are - "

"Courting, yes."

"Oh, and what does one usually do when they _'court'_?"

* * *

><p>"Shiki, we shouldn't - "<p>

The lips that had been trailing lightly across his neck and jaw bone, have returned to his own for a searing kiss, sufficiently stopping the release of whatever it was that he was going to say. He almost even forgets, especially when he feels a something wet and soft trace over his bottom lip. But, as much as he hates himself for doing so, Takuma places a palm on the shorter boy's chest, and pushes as gently as he can and still achieve the (less than) desired results.

A single look at the red, swollen mouth, flushed cheeks, and mussed hair of the red-headed vampire before him, and he wishes more than anything that he _had_ actually forgotten.

"We can't," Takuma informs him breathlessly, knowing that by the tingling in his own lips and the heat in his face, that he's probably sporting the very same look. He hopes it looks as half as good on him as it does Shiki.

He must, because Shiki's shifting forward again, despite his warning, for another kiss, and Takuma has to press against the boy's chest again.

Shiki raises his eyebrows in mild irritation, but he obeys the silent command. "Why?"

"Kaname said 'no detours'."

"On the way _there_," Shiki corrects, his hand creeping its way up to the one still at his chest, nimble fingers teasing its knuckles with light strokes. "But now that you've done your job, I'm sure he'll have no complaints - "

The hand is twisting around the front of his shirt, and Shiki's back is meeting the Academy's brick wall, which is approaching its original color under the near-morning sky.

"I suppose you're right," Takuma breathes with a smile before dipping his head down.

* * *

><p>Zero's not sure when it is exactly that he comes to - when he floats to the top of the river, and inhales his first gust of fresh oxygen; when the blurs of images and colors start to make sense. All he's sure about is that when he does come to, he thinks he's still delusional because that would be the only reasonable explanation for the scene before him.<p>

Because really, why else would he be lying in a luxurious bed, complete with cream satin sheets and plush pillows, with Kaname Kuran sitting at his feet?

Of course, when he blinks several times in the next few minutes, and the image is still there in vivid color, he's a little less sure of his previous deduction.

And then, when the pureblood looks his way - when red wine meets amethyst - he _knows_ he's not imagining things. He knows that Kaname is _really_ there. Staring at him.

"'The _fuck_?"


	18. Chapter 17

**Merry Christmas! See, I'm smart because I'm posting this today which means you can't be mad at me for the couple of months I dropped off of the planet (no, I really did. Ask my friends and family. They'll vouch for me)!**

**But seriously though - I'm back and alive (and intend to post the next of chapter of my other story Years of Practice as well, but just give me a few days as I learn how to type again. I legitimately forgot. This is not one of my proudest days (and is why this chapter is on the short side).**

**Anywho, hope you enjoy. Or that if you don't, you pretend you do 'CAUSE IT'S CHRISTMAS! The season of giving (: **

**And paper cuts. Wrapping paper is a weapon of mass destruction, I tell ya.**

* * *

><p><em>You will all stay strong - for yourselves, for those around you, for those you've lost to this deadly illness called vampirism. You will remember. And in your memories, you shall prosper.<em>

* * *

><p>Chapter 17: To Be in the Dark<p>

The smooth satin felt rough against his sweat slickened skin, and he finds that despite the irritating itches that surface because of the uncomfortable sensation he has no desire to stop any of it. Rather, he knows he _can't_.

The plush cushion squished awkwardly between his shoulder blades has the likeness of a jagged rock, and it digs painfully into his suddenly thin as paper flesh.

The cool air is burning.

Or was that just the pair of lips at his neck?

"You're not fighting back," they whisper, an out-of-place husky curiosity coloring the otherwise flat tone, before trailing further down his goose-pimpled skin, settling finally right above his pulse and tasting the stuttering beat with a flick of the tongue.

Zero's breath hitches, but he says nothing. He can't hear his voice. Can't feel it there. It's like he has none.

But that doesn't stop his mind from attempting to supply an answer. He draws a blank at first, but then, oh yeah -

_Why wasn't he fighting back? _

He'd been conscious for a total of five minutes, and the three he'd been able to experience without a pureblood at his throat (literally) left him little to go off of. He could barely remember his own name, let alone what to do when one wakes up in a very dangerous and very scary (although he'd never say so out loud) vampire's room, and - oh yeah - with said scary, dangerous vampire whispering creepy things into his ear. And there was licking. A whole lot of uncomfortably _wet_ licking.

And then, the obvious reason for his strange display of obedience, of course: Kaname was stronger than him. Faster than him. Regardless of how often he tried to pretend it wasn't true, it was.

Resistance was futile. However, just lying there wasn't doing him much good, either.

There's a scraping across his flesh and a tiny sting that follows, and even though it barely even hurts, it's somehow much worse than what he'd predicted a bite to feel like - what he'd remembered it to feel like many years ago.

This one's teasing, filled with prickling promises of what was soon to come. It was the odd pressure of a bare needle in your skin before the medicine was injected - that moment of pure fear, where every ounce of your being screams at you to rip your arm away, but you're frozen in place, as if the miniscule point was as binding as a twenty pound ball and chain.

The scratch draws blood. He can feel it pearl at the very edge of the cut. He can also feel the crimson bead being caught on the tip of a tongue, and can very much hear the responding groan of appreciation, like the owner had simply licked up a drop of melting ice cream. The throaty noise makes his stomach twist, and the wet appendage is suddenly so fucking warm, and he's so fucking warm... No, not just warm - he's on _fire_. Searing flames dance their way across his body, and they keep getting hotter and hotter. When they near his abdomen, they jump, creating tiny, electric sparks that shoot up his spine and make the tips of his fingers and toes numb.

It's odd, really. While the overall sensation is overwhelming, it's not painful in the least. Or, he doesn't _think_ it is. (For all he knows, his nerve endings have already burned away.)

As a matter of fact, the longer the fire lingers, the more comfortable it gets. It's not a burning, aching heat that could singe off your eyebrows - along with a few layers of flesh - in a heart beat, anymore. It still stings slightly, yes, but mostly, it's just _warm_... Like he was standing slightly too close to a fireplace or something, and before he can stop himself, he suddenly wants nothing more than to curl up on the floor and allow himself to be lulled to sleep by the dim flickering of the element.

Zero's bottom and top eyelashes are meeting, and -

The heat leaves his skin in an instant, as if it was simply a whisping breeze. Gone. And like an addict kicking a bad habit, he nearly keens at the loss, his frame a shivering, jittery mess, and he can't decide if the tiny aftershocks are to blame, or if it's a result of the enveloping cold that seems to pierce his flesh like billions of small needles, which he now realizes, are _way worse _than simply _one_.

He blinks up, his eyes taking a minute to finally adjust to the darkness and to register the face now hovering far too close above his.

He forgets for a second - with whom the features belonged.

_But, of course, who else?_

Kaname. He's looking at Zero with wide wine-colored orbs, lips parted and seemingly tinted a slightly darker pink by the poor lighting. Or was it...

_Blood. His blood._

"You..." the pureblood breathes, head trembling slightly, and what the fuck? Why was _he _the shaky one? _He_ didn't get to be the shaky one. Zero was just friggin' attacked for crying out loud, _and this guy - _?

Still, Zero most certainly uses the strange weakness to his advantage, and despite it only lasting a mere second, it's all Zero needs to knock the pureblood off of him. Five heartbeats later, and he's at the door, hand grasping desperately at the knob, twisting and pushing and yanking in a crazed frenzy, because _fuck_.

Kaname had bit him. _Kaname _had bit _him_. Zero had _let_ Kaname bite him. ('Nicked' was more like it, but Zero was far too terrified for technicalities.)

He had to get out of there.

He grasped the brass handle tighter in his fist. _Why the fuck was it locked?_

"Kiryuu-kun, wait," Kaname orders, though his voice sounds just about as shaken as Zero's sure his own would.

Despite his terror, Zero lets out a snort at that. _Right. Sure. I'll wait... For you to fucking jump on top of me and maul my neck again. Yeah, I'll be right on that shit._

"Wait," he repeats a bit more like himself, completely disregarding Zero's response.

Zero gives one last tug at the door before a hand is descending upon his. He flinches immediately, and humors the idea that getting rid of the hand was a more pressing matter than opening the door. As seconds ticked by with the cool, yet somehow fiery touch on his knuckles, he finds himself seriously considering the thought more and more.

Also, when the fuck did Kaname get _that_ close, and why hadn't Zero noticed it earlier?

"I'm not going to hurt you."

The whisper is so contradictory to the one that had been grazing his neck a mere minute earlier, and there is no way in hell that Zero is believing that bullshit...

So then, why is he relaxing his fist? Why is he permitting long, piano fingers to gently pluck his from the brass knob, and then settle at his back and guide his stumbling figure towards the bed?

Why was his body enveloped with a feeling of complete trust that his mind was most certainly _not _experiencing?

It was like breathing, or blinking, doing what Kaname's hand urged him to do. It felt natural.

And it shouldn't.

"Who was that man?"

Zero jumped at the rushed words, not at all expecting such obvious worry to emit from Kaname's being as he spoke. His typically cool mahogany orbs aren't narrowed in disinterest, or even contempt. Oddly enough, they're wide. Almost like a doe's. "Man?"

"That man? The one with blond hair and gray eyes? He - "

Frankly, Zero could care less about the topic of Kaname's 'man', so he grabs hold of a new one: "You bit me."

Kaname blinks, but doesn't look the slightest bit angry at being interrupted like Zero thought he would have. If anything, he just looks more worried. "It was an accident. I hadn't intended on - "

"What, you _accidently_ fell on me, and decided, 'Well, hey, I'm already down here, might as well take advantage of the situation'?"

Kaname grimaced. "Of course not. I was simply..." he pauses, in search of any possible way to make the tale sound less... well, _bad_.

"Swept away by the moment?" Zero supplies for him with an angry growl.

The pureblood's eyes flicker a shade darker at the grumble. "Hungry."

_That_ Zero believed. The pureblood certainly looked it. "Well, by all means, go right ahead and take more," he mutters sarcastically.

A sucked in breath, and then: "Don't tempt me."

_Shit_. "Right." And he meant 'right' as in that thing that had just happened. That thing that was so frigging horrifying that he feared he'd never be able to erase it from his memory. That thing that'd he'd just forgotten about like a misplaced sock.

'Right' as in, _oh yeah, __**that**__._

'Right' as in, there's obviously something fucking wrong with him for that to be his response. The expression on Kaname's face made it clear that he thought the same.

Zero clears his throat awkwardly, once again attempting to push aside the startling notion that he should feel more uneasy sitting here on a pureblood vampire's bed.

"Kiryuu-kun."

Zero's eyes raise from the spot on the duvet he'd been burning holes into.

"This was not at all my intention. I promised Yuuki I wouldn't - "

Zero tensed. "Yuuki?" _Yuuki. _Soft chocolate orbs that always seemed to glisten with almost-tears of empathy. Wisps of fine strands framing her heart-shaped face - they were smooth to the touch, Zero knew. Porcelain skin and blushing cheeks, like that of a china doll - and just as fragile looking, too. But she wasn't fragile anymore. She wasn't in the least -

The pureblood's lips twist. "Yes."

_Can I see her?_ Zero swallowed the ridiculous request that lumped in his throat. He'd never see her _that way _again. "Oh."

* * *

><p><em>Can I see him?<em>

May _I see him?_

Yeah, 'may' sounds better - grammatically, at least. Of course, something tells her that good grammar or not, she isn't going to get what she wants. No one in their right mind would risk their own neck on her behalf and deliver her request to Kaname, who'd been locked up in his room for the past five hours.

Yuuki can only hope that he at least kept his promise to her, and that Zero was unharmed.

"Not that I care or anything, but what's up with you? We got the Kiryuu kid back, and now your brother's gonna live."

Yuuki blinks up at Ruka with a sheepish smile. "It's that obvious, huh?"

"Not really," Ruka says pleasantly enough as she peers into the wine glass she was lazily holding between her two middle-most fingers, and swirls around the liquid that was most certainly not wine with gentle rolls of her wrist. "Well, at least, _you're _not," she amends, noting Yuuki's raising eyebrows. "It's your aura that's a real giveaway. It's all... fidgety." She grimaces at her own word choice, no doubt hating how completely mundane and teenage-girlish it had sounded. She's a respectable noble vampire, after all.

"That's the problem," Yuuki admits with an almost guilty sigh.

"Your aura? 'Cause I'm sure Kaname-sama would be more than willing to teach you to control it once he's done up there," Ruka laughs - albeit with slight bitterness - nonchalantly gesturing to the stairs of the Moon dorm. Yuuki chooses to politely ignore the anger that arises at such a display of indifference. After all, it was Zero up _there_ - the one her brother would be '_done' with_.

"No. It's Onii-sama's... I mean, it's so... everywhere. Like, one second I'm worried that I'll have to race up there and stop him from murdering Zero, and then the next..." she trails off, brow furrowing.

"It's something _entirely different_," Ruka murmurs understandingly - or, at least, as understandingly as she could manage.

"Only, I have no idea how that is, let alone, _what_." Yuuki whispers, glancing self-consciously to the floor for reassurance that it wasn't even capable of giving. Of course, Ruka really wasn't a good candidate for such a task either. "Doesn't it bother you? Not knowing, that is. Being kept in the dark when we were the ones that..."

Yuuki catches Ruka's skewed smile when she peeks back up at the girl through her lashes. "Immensely so," she laughs dryly. "As I'm sure it does you, but we're just both going to have to suck it up, aren't we?"

Something tells Yuuki that the lighter-haired girl got quite some satisfaction from their similar standings. They are, for once, in the same boat. And it's that same thing that also tells her that Ruka would me more than happy to knock her off the side if provoked. "But I mean, they've never... They've always _hated _each other, and now it's like they're - "

"Bonded?" Ruka supplied, ignoring the pureblood's responding grimace. "A blood bond is a tradition deeper than marriage, Yuuki-hime. Something that's not supposed to be formed out of anything but love. It's meant to strengthen a relationship. And like you said, they _hated _each other, and that's never happened before - with blood bonds, I mean - and so I can imagine that even to Kaname, the future is... unclear. He's just as much in the dark as we are."

Yuuki's eyes widen in realization. "But, I don't understand. They haven't even completed - "

"Can't you smell it?" The tone that accompanies the words is pitying, and that makes it all the more vicious.

Yuuki inhales slowly, brow furrowed in confusion. _Smell what? _All she can smell is -

Blood. Zero's. It's just a little, she can tell, which is odd because it's never smelled so strongly before, but it's still clearly there. In the dorm. Up the stairs. In Kaname's room.

She guesses 'hoping' really hadn't done her any good.

"Oh," Yuuki gasps, her suddenly trembling hand moving to muffle the weak sound. "Oh no."

Ruka snorts - a sharp, bitter noise.

"But Onii-sama promised me. He _promised_!" Yuuki cries, head shaking back and forth furiously.

Another snort. "Yes, well. Funny thing about promises - they typically don't last very long. Especially when keeping them involves going against the basic instinct of self-preservation. You _do _realize that each second he'd kept his word would have brought him a step closer to dying, don't you?" She silences Yuuki's forming protest with a withering glare. "Awfully selfish of you to ask him to do something like that."

The pureblood princess shrinks back under the harsh stare. She's sort of disappointed in herself for surrendering so easily, especially after all the progress she'd made in the past couple weeks. Here she was - reverting back to her shy, human tendencies. "But," she squeaks meekly, biting her lip momentarily when her rebuttal barely rang above the sound of her own breathing. "With Zero and the bond... what if he - what if it makes them... different?"

"It can't be worse than it was before. Now, at least, they'll have some sort of connection... However, what that connection will be is really up to interpretation." Ruka chuckles and then pauses, as if struck by a very absurd thought. "Wouldn't it be ironic..." she shakes her head, already dismissing the idea before it's left the nest. She says it anyway, though. "Both go in loving you, and both come out - "

For a second, Yuuki's touched. For a second, she believes that Ruka had caught the uncomfortable expression on her face, and had stopped for her sake. For a second, she wonders if maybe they really are becoming friends.

"Kaname-sama," Ruka breathes.

Too bad seconds don't last all that long.

* * *

><p>"And you think Kiryuu-kun might have some information on the Hunter's Association? Something really important that he's not telling us?"<p>

"Now, hold on. It's not like he's been given very much time for talking to begin with. There's no real way to say - "

"Why else would Kaname be concerned over an ex-human's memories?"

Yuuki tries to find sense in the intermixed ramblings of the noble vampires, but she's as lost as she'd been in math during her days as a human.

Instead, she nods along like she's listening, going out on a limb that, now that Kaname was in better shape, none of them would be looking to her for guidance all that often, and recalls Kaname's blank expression when he'd caught Ruka stuffing her foot in her mouth. He hadn't chastised the noble, and both Ruka and Yuuki were surprised by that at the time. Of course, now she knows why he didn't, and she's fairly pleased.

Not because of the current dilemma they're discussing (that also happened to make absolutely no sense to her), but because of the fact that Kaname was not just _in _the discussion - he was leading it.

Ruka was right. Yuuki had piled her own worries on her less than able brother's shoulders, and if he hadn't broken his promise, Yuuki's sure he would have crumbled under the weight.

But now, he looks healthy. Err, _healthier_.

She could do without the grave expression on his face, though.

"You're late."

It's Kaname's hard, remprimanding tone that pulls Yuuki from her wandering thoughts. She glances up and catches a glimpse of fear flickering in Takuma's forest orbs before they widen in understanding.

"And you're okay," Takuma says as if he's almost bewildered by the notion.

Shiki is far more blunt and not very surprised: "You've fed."

Which, of course, makes Yuuki flinch and hate herself for forgetting so easily the other side of the spectrum. Yeah, Kaname was okay and all, but what about Zero? The last time she'd seen him (a few hours ago), he was far too thin and as white as a ghost. Physically, he wasn't in the best condition to be 'fed' on. And emotionally...

"How'd he take it?"

Kaname's eyebrows raise, and there's that face again - the regal one, the one worthy of a pureblood, the one that persuades Shiki to step down and bite his tongue. "I trust you've given Kaien my message," he murmurs, though the softness is not without strength.

It isn't a diversion. No, it isn't meant to avoid the question at all.

It's an assertion. An undemanding claim to power, because no demands are necessary - not when it's for something that rightfully belongs to him.

It isn't a diversion, because he doesn't _have_ to answer the question, and it's a reaffirmation that it's certainly not Shiki's place to ask such questions to begin with.

The anarchy of the Night Class had been dispelled by a single mouthful of blood. _An ex-human's blood._

"Of course," Takuma answers quickly, eyes flickering to Shiki apprehensively. "He was, err, relieved."

"Was he?"

The blond bites his lip. "And very anxious, too. He wants to see _him_."

Kaname simply stares, before finally sighing, "Yes. I suppose he does." His eyes flash to Yuuki for a nanosecond. "But I'm afraid that is no longer an option. Kiryuu-kun has proved to be more... _useful_ than I had predicted. He has knowledge of a certain subject that is most concerning."

"What?" It's out before Takuma can stop himself, and the others grimace at his expense.

But Kaname responds, and they can all breath again, and things are almost like they were before, for the time being, and that should be enough, but it's not. It could've been. It was. But now they've seen too much and heard too little, and it is never a comforting feeling - to not know.

"Someone I once knew. Someone of great significance."

To be in the dark.

* * *

><p><em>Fuck!<em>

With a growl of frustration, Zero brings his pulsing hand to his chest, and cradles the wounded appendage in his other arm.

A quick glance at the splintering wood of Kaname's nightstand, and the pain is nursed to a dull ache by a wave of self-satisfaction. At least the hurt had been worth _something_.

However, after a few heaving breaths, Zero despairingly realizes that _something_ is definitely not enough to quell the trepidation and agitation thumping madly at his forehead.

_Anyone home_?

He is seriously beginning to wonder.

What the _fuck _is wrong with him?

He wants out of here. So friggin' bad. So bad that every muscle in his body should be tensing up in preparation, and his heart should be a determined, stuttering mess. But his muscles are lax, and his heart is as steady and as constant as the ticking of a clock.

His brain is screaming, _"Leave," _and yet he stays.

He's trapped, and he's his own cage.

He'd guessed something was not quite right when he'd allowed Kaname to touch his hand, to guide him to the bed - to have any power over him whatsoever. And he'd _known_ when Kaname had told him to "wait here", and he hadn't bolted from the room the second the pureblood had cleared the door way.

The transition from guessing and knowing had been difficult.

The one from knowing to accepting seems near impossible.

* * *

><p>When Kaname returns to his room, Zero is seated cross-legged on the bed and facing the wall. It's a surprisingly casual sight - to see the lack of tension in the silver-haired boy's shoulder and the to hear his deep, even breaths, despite the fact the he must know that the pureblood is standing a mere few feet away, staring at him. Or, at least, it is until Kaname remembers their predicament and sees how, when the hunter finally does turn around, what tension is lacking in his back is definitely made up for in his steel lilac eyes.<p>

Kaname realizes that it's probably ridiculous to try what he is about to, especially given Zero's previous reaction to his attempt, but he decides there is no better time then the present. Besides, he's heard somewhere that conversation can be a wonderful icebreaker.

Not that he's all that concerned about any ice between them, but a lack thereof could most likely aid his cause.

"Tell me about the man," Kaname says, interrupting the silence, and he finds that it does little to chip away at any of the icy chill. If anything, it replenishes it.

* * *

><p>Zero's teeth grit. "What man?" he asks for what feels like the upteenth time.<p>

"_The man._"

Because _that_ cleared up quite a lot, thank you. Seriously, weren't purebloods supposed to be more articulate?

Zero worries his bottom lip between his teeth and mentally shakes away the ridiculously frivolous thought, which was just one of many it seems. It's really odd, too (though that word was beginning to weaken with the amount of times he's used it), because he's never felt this way. Frivolous, that is. Scatter-brained. Zero likes to think himself a fairly serious guy. After all, given his past, how can he not? But _this_?

He hates himself for even entertaining the idea, but he kind of wonders if this is how Cross's brain works. All jumbled emotions and nonsensical phrases.

... Cross. _Fuck_.

Zero's suddenly very thankful for his new restless thought process as it easily supplies him with a distraction from the demanding memories that he has no intention of reliving at the current moment.

"What man?" he questions again, all gratitude disappearing, because just because he _thought_ it, doesn't necessarily mean it was something he had planned on voicing. But obviously, his tumultuous brain didn't give a flying fuck.

Kaname appears to be surprised at this, like he'd just realized that the possibility of Zero not knowing what the fuck he was talking about was actually quite probable, and Zero can't help but get a little bit distracted because he doesn't think he's ever seen the brunet this expressive before.

When he doesn't respond, Zero presses further. "You said he was blond or something, right?"

The pureblood's shoulders straighten. "You know him, then?"

Zero considers the odd (see, there was that word again) question. _Know him? Why would he? _He had simply regurgitated the information Kaname had thrown at him. Knowing the dude had blond hair meant absolutely nothing. "No."

"But he was there - in your memories. I saw him - "

"Hold on," Zero blanches. "_You saw him in my memories_? How the fuck - "

"Vampires can access their prey's thoughts through their blood," Kaname states dully, like Zero should know that... and well, he should. He was a hunter. He's read books on this shit. It's mostly high-ranking vampires, he knows, and it's usually just memories, too. Thoughts from the past are easier to reach than those happening in the present - only purebloods can dabble with those.

However, he's not sure how Kaname could find a memory that _he _didn't even remember having. Perhaps it's from a dream he's had from several years back, or a face he'd spotted for about three seconds on a crowded street and the proceeded to go on with his life.

But then why did Kaname look so friggin' anxious? Dreams of streets and faces certainly wouldn't do that.

Zero shakes his head - physically, this time. "I don't know who you're talking about."

Kaname mirrors the motion, though Zero finds it very irritating that _he _doesn't look as nearly as lost as Zero did when doing it. "You do. You have to. Why else would - "

"I don't remember," Zero cuts him off. "Is what I mean... I don't remember anything. The woman. The nurse. She told me that I... But that can't possibly be true... Not after what she did."

He realizes that nothing he's saying makes any sense, and that he's probably pissing Kaname off, but he can't help it. It's not like even if he did remember those fifty days of darkness (and alleged 'unconsciousness'), he'd be so willing to assist Kaname and answer his desperate inquiries. But honestly, if that's what it would take to remember, he'd help the creature he despised in a heartbeat.

Speaking of despise... "You fucking bit me," Zero accused with a glare.

Kaname's brow scrunches at _yet another_ one of Zero's out of character and flighty segways. "What's wrong with you?"

Whatever insult he'd had stowed away on the tip of his tongue is gone, and in its place is disbelief. "What's wrong? _You fucking bit me, that's what's wrong!_ And yet here I am, sitting here and talking to you like it never even happened. I want to be furious. I want to be mad like I would have been months ago. _Like I should be_. But I'm not. I'm not even mad. Irritated, maybe. Annoyed. Vexed. But not angry, mad, furious. It's like I don't even care, even though I do. I really do. I just... can't," he pauses for a gasping inhale before continuing, voice lowered to barely above a subdued murmur, "Shit, you're right. There is something wrong with me, and I just - I just _know _that it's your fucking fault."

The brunet regards him with guarded eyes and a blank frown. It's the most familiar expression he's seen on the man's face all day - err, night... Whatever time it was. "Yes, I suppose that would make the most sense," he relents. "It is very much my fault, though there is little we can do to fix it now. Unless you desire to die, of course," he smiles, and it's almost one of amusement. "It wouldn't be your first attempt."

Zero swallows the strange vulnerability that creeps into his throat at the reminder. "That was fake," he replies weakly. "I didn't really... And what do you mean by not being able to 'fix it'? What did you do to me?"

Kaname chuckles, though the sound is much too dark and hollow sounding for Zero's liking. Sinister - not with intent, though that doesn't make it any less frightening - Kaname was just naturally frightening. But again, he can't really _fear_. Just like he couldn't be angry. He could be apprehensive about the noise, that's for sure, because he definitely was. But the pathetic imitation of the emotion he desired to feel made him queasy, like that ghastly fake cheese that came from a can. Manufactured - that was it.

He felt synthetic, as if the person dictating his feelings wasn't actually _him_.

"How inept your hunter studies were. Surely, your superiors did not believe you could function off so little knowledge. Or, perhaps you were just a horrible student..." Kaname muses, challenging Zero with raised eyebrows.

"I wasn't a bad student. Best in the class even. Teacher gave me gold stars and everything," Zero deadpans, and he's actually happy to discover that his sarcasm was left untouched by the weird disease plaguing his emotions.

Now if only he could find the friggin' cure.

"And yet - "

"And yet what?" Zero bites. "Look, why don't you quit the cryptic bullshit and just get to the point already?"

Kaname's eyes narrow to a point - and it's most certainly not the one Zero had asked for. "Are you completely incompetent?"

The silver-haired vampire blinks. "Did you just - " of all the things - a slap, a growl, a smirk - a juvenile insult was not something Zero had anticipated " - call me a _name_?"

More importantly, Zero is _not_ incompetent. He's not slow, or daft, or any other stupid pretentious word the pureblood could come up with. He's just confused, and anxious, and fucking frustrated (frustrated, of course, because he can't be angry, and it'll have to do).

Confused, anxious, frustrated because some he woke up in a creepy as shit hospital room where some bitch poked him with a needle and then drugged him up. Confused, anxious, frustrated because the second time he woke up, it was in a pureblood's bed where, oh yeah, said pureblood attacked him and then came back later like everything was all dandy, asking Zero about some man that Zero probably does actually know but can't remember along with another fifty fucking days of shit that was probably _very, very _important.

Confused, anxious, frustrated because -

Kaname bit him.

Kaname _bit _him.

And he'd bit Kaname. A long time ago - centuries, it seemed - but it still happened.

And that meant _something_, and he doesn't know much on the subject, but he does know it's something he was supposed to avoid. Something strictly vampiric - something he was not. He was still human, after all. And -

"A blood bond," he whispers - the words are merely ghosted on his lips, but that doesn't matter.

Kaname hears it, and that _does_.


End file.
